It has been 3 months since my accident, and during that time i never felt so worthless and disappointed…..with myself. Just got home from d hospital n d doctor told me d thing that i never would want to hear…..that my right hand will never heal back like it used 2 be……SHITTT!!! Then i just should 4get about my passion 4 outdoor activities, basketball n cooking…..wait i still can cook but with twice d effort, energy n time it needed b4. Im at d lowest point of my emotion right now…..feel useless it like u r at d highest peak of ur life n this happen or ur leading a race n suddenly u fell down n become d last person in d race….im used 2 b very independent, im d type who doesnt like 2 ask 4 help….n now i cant even scratch some parts of my body…..DAMNIT!!! Why this is happening 2 me…….WHY ME??? Maybe is 1 way to repay 4 my bad deeds, yes i admit there is many mistakes i have done in d past that i wish it never happened…..i was pretty naughty back then, but i try 2 change…..at least i have tried……even though of taking my own life, but im not that stupid n im not going 2 die as a KAFIRRUN……

I remembered i once met this old indian lady in d hospital….we talked n she told me when i was in coma my spirit was knocking on heaven’s door n im on my way to depart from my body 4ever….but then suddenly God hear voices calling 4 me…..n she told me that were d prayers  from my family…….n because God cannot stand all d noise, God sent my spirit back to my body and i was given a 2nd chance….although i dont belief what she said but she got a point there…….that i still have my family, who love me very much, who cares 4 me, who have hopes 4 me……n  how could i 4get about my friends, who were very supportive n had given me all d encouragement i needed…..that doesnt include all my girlfriends….hehe just joking….So what d use of crying 4 d things u could not have or d things u lost…..just b gratefull 4 things u already have  that maybe someone else doesnt have…..HEY!! i can still walk, not like im paralyze or something….i can still see this beautiful world ALLAH had created, i still can hear d birds chirping when i woke up in d morning….there are so many things 2 be thankful  4….it just u forgot about it or u just dont realize.

One thing is 4 sure, im d hard headed type that doesnt give up easly untill i get what i want……so u guys just wait n see im going 2 do things that normal people can do AND im going 2 do it better then them. Thats my promise 2 myself, 2 all who r reading this n to d WORLD!!!