Monthly Archive

Hey i feel close 2 kid rock right now….maybe it because both of us have mixed feeling…..Only God Knows Why…..So here u go my version of the song

I’ve been sittin here

Tryin to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself
Lookin for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me
And I feel like number one
But now I’m last in line
I watch the tube
And it helps to pass the time
I take too many pills it helps to ease the pain
I got a couple of ringgit, but still I feel the same
Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks stare at me
It’s hard to hang out in crowds
I guess that’s the price you pay
To be some big shot O.K.U

Out strecthed hands and one night stands
Still I can’t find love

And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around

Yeah
As it…hey

And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around

People don’t know about the things I say and do
They don’t understand about the PAIN that I’ve been through
It’s been so long that i been staying at home
I’ve been home, I’ve been home for way too long
Maybe I forgot all things I love
Oh somehow I know there’s more to life than this
I said it too many times
And I still stand firm
You get what you put in
And people get what they deserve
Still I ain’t seen mine
No I ain’t seen mine
I’ve been giving just ain’t been gettin
I’ve been walking that there line
So I think I’ll keep a walking
With my head held high
I’ll keep moving on and only God knows why

Only God
Only God
Only God knows why, why, why, why
Only God…knows…why, why, why
Only God knows why
Take me to the river edge
Take me to the river, hey hey hey

Message 2 Kid Rock : Grow up man! you aint a kid anymore

Message 2 myself : You aint met 2 be a ROCK star….hehehe

        Pernah rase tangan anda ditarik sampai mcm nk tercabut??? Atau bengkokkn tgn anda ke arah bertentangan dgn arah normal??? AKU dh rase….pagi  tadi  pg jumpe tabib cina mtk tolong die repair tgn knn aku ni….ape problemnya? Xda menda cuma x blh nk diluruskan atau di bengkokkn sepenuhny…..puncanya: dislocated elbow.
       Sampai kt rumah tabib 2 pkl 9.30….hehe rumah biasa je tp still kn ambk nombor mcm kt hospital, n my number is 54 (woo jgn memain ngan apek ni…. patient die lg ramai dr doktor pakar kt hosptl) So kn la ddk bertenggek sampai die panggil nombor aku…..Waktu ni le ak perasaan ramai yg mcm aku rupanya ( u just name it, broken hand, broken leg, pecah kepara je yg xda)….One thing yg special about his treatment is u can watch it live, mcm tgk bola….xda cover2 dlm blk k, blkng kain k…..apek nie bantai je buat treatment die dpn patient2 lain…..Setakat ni ok la, xda yg terpekik k, pengsan ke…cuma 1 aunty ni je ak tgk air mate die meleleh lps treatment…..cuak gak ak krg die nak repair tgn ak yg dh jammed ni….ttp jantan melayu terakhir di Skudai mesti cool muarghaha.
        So finally is my turn…..apek 2 periksa tgn ak n gelengkn kepala, dia tanye dh brp lama jd cam2…..ak ckp dh 4 bln. Then dia pegang tgn kanan ak n cuba untuk bengkokkn….with pure force, xda pelan2….SUBHANALLAH, sakit sampai terbangun aku dr kerusi…lepas 2 die biar ak rilek jap (bapak ahh punye la sakit sampai tercunggap2 aku mcm br lepas sprint test dlm my team tu)….apek tu ketuk2 kepala aku suruh aku tahan sakit (ni beri encouragement ke amenda ni, lantaklh just get it over with) Mula balik….now he wants 2 straighten my hand….bayangkn la tgn ak dh 4 bln mcm tu, otot2 semua dh keras dia nk luruskn blk…..WaHaHaHa ke kiri ke kanan ak pegi nak tahan sakit…..mintak2 dh habis la treatment die, blh pitam aku kalo die buat camtu lg. Fuhhh…nsb baik….dia ambk bandage n balut tgn aku. Hehehe sakit mcm mn pun ak msh blh melemparkn senyuman bile ade sorang amoi ni asyik tenung aku dgn nada simpati waktu ak bjln keluar.
             Jadi my defination of PAIN is: something u must endure 2 gain back something u lost…..right now ill accept any kind of treatment 2 fully heal my right hand (doctors cant do anything right now so ill do it d tradisional way) like the old saying goes….. NO PAIN NO GAIN!!! Hmmm…makes me wonder this guy can fix broken bones….can he fix a broken heart to??? hehehe

Been looking into my folder n suddenly stumble into this poem. I had created it when i was in form 5…back then everyone been asking 4 more TIME cause SPM was just around d corner….YES this is my original creation, no ciplak or tiru in this one

TIME
Time ticks away,
For every second that passed,
Surely can’t be regained,

Seconds turn to minute,
Minutes turn to hour,
And 24 hours make one day,

We regret about the past,
But we dream of the future,
Sometime we begged for time,
Sometime we misspend our time,
Many lost in time,
A few controlled the time,

Whom maximizes his time,
Success awaits at the end of his path,
Whom failed to use his time,
Doom followed behind his back,

For each day that passes,
We become older,
Become wiser,
We learn new things in life,
And nearer to our finishline,

So make sure you use your time wisely,
Because just like every drop of our blood,
Time counts.

COPYRIGHT : BZR4 CORP

            Aiyaa I know it had been 6 months since we climb Mount Kinabalu but I thinks it is a shame if I don’t share my experience with all of u. So here it is :

 Indeed it’s a thing to be believe in, the power of human spirit. Ths is a story on how 49 people successfully conquer Mount Kinabalu not with their enormous strenght but wit their high spirit and motivasion. It all began on the 31 of August 2005 (a historic date 4 d country n 4 myself), d day we started our climbing from Tmn Kinabalu base camp. It was 9 am when we started moving but just b4 that I n 3 of d other participants was called by our guiders. eventually it is because we hv illness tht may prove fatal if we climb Mount Kinabalu. I, myself hv asthma and althought i havent hv a severe asthma attack for years and d fact that i trained hard to reduce it.
Still it makes me uncomfortable hearing that i may lose my life or critically injured myself in my conques to reach d top. After doing some thinking, i persuade myself 2 go on with d rest of d team. We all are divided into 4 major groups and each group are divided into smaller 2 groups. Each major group consist of 12-13 people with 5 men, 3  as a sweeper, 1 hold d 1st aid kit and 1 as a leader. Im with d last group which play a role as the main sweeper 4 d whole team. Along d route to labah rata they all are 7 pittstops or rest area and each pittstop to another is about 1 km far apart. The track partically was rocks and earth that lay like a long starcaise which are uneven, sometimes high n sometimes low. D 1st problem occur at checkpoint 2, when 1 out of d firstly 51 participant turn into semi parallised state caused by high altititude sickness where d lungs cannot breath normaly. Eventhought d others tried to persuade her to continue but she refussed and with that current state it was a good thing she did not. So a guider had to bring her down back to base camp and d rest of us make our way up d mountain. d rest of d journey to labah rata was quite fine with all 50 of us able to reach to our shack b4 3pm. Only a handfull of the participants which were all are girls hv trouble to reach there mainly because of lack of fitness, d high altitude and d low temperature. But with the help from d others, frequent ‘take 5′ and a lot of jokes along d way, i quess hv contribute to their success reaching labah rata on time. D activities at Labah Rata was to get as much sleep as possible and tried to eat as much maggi to regain strengh. At 5pm we all held a mast maggi cooking event and eat it together and after isyak prayer we all turn to sleep. I woke up at 12 am and go to d highest  toilet in South East Asia. A once on a life time experience easing urself with near freezing water hahahaha. After that we all refill our tummy again b4 we continue our climb at 2 am. Ohh, 1 participant cant join us cause she keep throwing up maybe because her body cant stand d temperature or d air presure.

                   The painfull climb to Low’s Peak started here with ths part of mount kinabalu became very steep that we need to use rope to climb it. It was peach dark and the only source of light came from our torchlight. Tiredness started to bite in into every one of us. Soo 4 now on u climb at ur own pace n not with ur group that we hv formed earlier. This had 2 be done because if not the weaker participants will slow down d whole group n d other thing is there is a limit 2 how many person can be at d highest peak at that particular time. So rather then we have 2 wait 4 our turn its better 2 let who can reach there faster 2 go at their own pace n reach d peak 1^st. Me myself at that time was having trouble…. My bag pack (only d boys carry bagpack which include food n drink 4 their group members) is dragging me down. Although I have lighten it when we stop at our shack but because d mountain is so steep, just 2 take a step forward is difficult. I was about 2 throw away my bagpack but thanks 2 my friend Cik Herda I still manage 2 carry d bag when she help me 2 carry d 1.5 litre flask which felt like it weight 15kg. Also at this moment d simpulan bahasa DEKAT DI MATA TP JAUH DI KAKI emerged. Yeah u can see with ur eyes clearly d peak but it felt like it take FOREVER 2 reach there. So I decide it is better 2 look down untill I reach d peak….After thousands or maybe millions of small steps I finally reach d highest peak in South Asia called Low’s Peak (I don’t know why d hell they give it that name cause it ain’t low) about 6 am. After taking several
snap I sit down n just let my emotion take over…Wow it really breathtaking 2 see d wonderful view from there….just imagine if u have supernatural eyesight u can even see peninsular Malaysia from there. D picnic at d highest spot in Msia was also amazing although we only had ‘roti kosong’ n hot milo but it was d best ‘roti kosong’ n hot milo I have ever tasted.

  Now its time 4 d gruelling task 2 climb down back 2 base camp. If only they had create a lif or escalator then after ‘separuh nyawa’ climb up 2 Mount Kinabalu peak we can easly came down….muahaha but I still can ‘bgolek’ down but surely I will have a problem 2 stop. Like how we climb up its quite d same 2 climb down : EVERY PERSON 4 HIM/HER SELF…. I stay back 4 a while n decided 2 join d group at d back. At this time a problem emerged….my knee was killing me. The constant strain on my knees when we r climbing down is 2 much….So rather then changing 2 a
higher gear like some of my friend I have 2 change into a lower gear n go slow. Some of us is 2 tired 2 even open their mouth 2 speak but aint me…I sing my way down 2 Labah Rata 2 take my mind of my painful knee n still how far it is 2 reach base camp. About 10 am I reach Labah Rata….After finish packing my stuff we all gather 2 hear instruction on how we going 2 climb down 2 base camp. So we were regroup n this time d weaker members were put in d last group with all d still enegetic sweepers. I was put into d second last group n there r only 2 boys in my team….So I hv 2 be d group leader while my friend Ijan who was struck down with a flu at that time d sweeper. So at 11.30 am we start our journey 2 base camp from labah rata n this time I decided 2 take off my sweather n wear only my t shirt althought its 10 celcius at that altitude (hehehe then what d use of my extra fat still left hanging on my body). Half d way down then it started 2 rain….aiya so we have 2 wear our rain cloth. As d 2^nd from behind group we also act as a sweeper so d weaker participants from d group infront of us that cant keep up with their group pace join us. I as d team leader choose d slow n steady method, we may go slow but we only stop at d pitstops n we decided 2 skip d last pitstop n walk straight 2 base camp. Exactlt at 5.30 pm we arrive at base camp….alhamdulillah althought we all r very, VERY tired we all came down safely. So d morale of d story is u may b phisically unfit but if u have ur friends by ur side helping u, giving u a hand or just cheer u on 2 lift ur spirit n made u mentally n emotionally stronger, then climbing Mount Kinabalu is not imPOSSIBLE….BELIEVE me I say this base on my experience…..Hey maybe we can even climb Mount Everest….who knows? 

     After my tragic accident 4 months ago, i hv finally accepted it is my destany n i hv accepted it as fate. So im relearning things i had learn 4 d past 21 years in just 2 months time. Unbeliaveable….. BELIEVE IT. Such example is learning how 2 write with my left hand….Yeah, thing kids in kindergarten do….but 2 write fast n neat is not an easy task….easy if u think doctor’s handwriting is pretty.
      I also hv 2 relearn how 2 play my favourite sport…..BASKETBALL. Dribble with 1 hand…thats acceptable….but throw a ball n sink it in d basket with 1 hand thats pretty hard….HEY! if it is ur passion, you ‘Just Do It’. I just hv 2 change d way i throw….if b4 i throw a 3 pointer with my right hand while my left hand hold d ball, now i just have 2 do it d apposite way. Hey if SAKURAGI HANAMICHI can b a basketball star in just 3 months time, then its not a big problem 4 me….like what he say u need only 1% talent n 99% effort 2 be a STAR.
      Beside that, i also have 2 remaster d art of cooking n driving….Thats not hard because i used 2 drive my ‘BaBy’ with 1 hand….1 hand holding a drink n d other 1 d steering….muahaha. N cooking…hehehe i hv been doing that even b4 my ‘antena’  was  taken out  from my right hand…. Hei  just tell me what  ur stomach been craving 4 n ill cook it 4 u, it just messier n takes a longer time 2 prepare d dish….hey maybe it is worthwhile 2 skip school n hv 2 cook 4 myself during my primary days…kekeke. Oh i almost 4get, i also hv been traning hard 2 gain my stamina back n 2 maintain my ‘perfect’ figure (hey i aint going 2 spend a week in d hospital again just to lose 8kg of my weight)…jogging once every 2 days, if d weather allowed it…n 2 achive my target faster somestime dogs chase me ( cehh there r just 2 many here n d stupid owner dont even care 2 tie their dog…ak sepak sampai mampos karang naye je)
      WHY im insist 2 do all of this??? Why cant i wait 4 my right hand 2 fully heal?….Yeah 4 how long??? 1 year, 4 years, 21 years or….FOREVER….Waiting is 4 WIMPS….n yes there is still hope, but hopes  r uncertain plus d fact that miracles  happen once in  a zillion…..SO then just praying n hoping…i also have taken d neccesary steps 2 prepare myself 4 d WORST….that my right hand will never became like it use 2 be….Even d doctor hv told me that what i hv acomplished now is a lot n more then this, thats a bonus (2 achieve this i hv 2 exercise my right hand everyday by pushing it limits : try 2 bend my arm n straighten it untill i felt a slight pain went trought my body like electric current run trought my body n i still doing it right now) ….IF I BECOME A PERMANENT O.K.U…I will become a succesfull one. D 1st O.K.U 2 climb Mount Everest….d 1st O.K.U F1 driver or more GEMPAQ d 1st Malaysia O.K.U PM…..D world is waiting 4 me n all of u 2 conquer it…so dont look down on yourself or at any of d O.K.U out there because we may need ur help but we never want ur sympathy !

Hey when u have di tegur by malaikat  MAUT u know how meaningful Friendship r….. d ones who always by ur side when u most need it…To all my close friends thank u for being there 4 me, helping me 2 get  back on my feet…..This is my pleadge  2  all of them n im sure its d same with  them…. if u  really  look  into d lyrics  u can understand….Friend 4 EVA.

"Ever The Same"

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn’t tell you but I’m telling you now

Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart
Just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it’s cold and we’re scared
And we’ve both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn’t need to be the end

Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart
Just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me
Forever it’s you
Forever in me
Ever the same

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you’re no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I’ll not forget
But I can only give you love

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me
Forever it’s you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same(Ever the same)

hmmm… at 3 in d morning listening 2 this song almost (almost haaa) made tears fall down from my eyes….but what d shame of crying 4 d true meaning of friendship