Monthly Archive

            Finally after taking a long break, its time to write once again. Some wonder why d heck im taking so long to write this one. Well, I can give a million reason such as im really busy cause I hv started my studies, I don’t hv idea and so on… But d real reason is im not ready to write d final chapter about my life after that dreadful day. Its like when someone asked u : r u ready 2 die? And u guys know d answer I guess. But I insisted on this day I will tell d world d story that will summarize it all. So I will try my best to tell all of u how I hv cope with my disability n how I hv survived campus life as a handicapped person.

            After 8 weeks of industrial training, I was confidence that I was ready to continue my undergraduate studies in UKM. I better b ready cause d 1^st month there was really hard especially d 1^st few weeks. On d 1^st day back UKM I was already in trouble when I  arrived a day earlier 4 college registration n hv 2 wait until d next day b4 I can enter my room. Luckily 4 me I can hang out at my friends house nearby with my stuff b4 I register. When I finally check into my hostel room to my disbelief d room they gave me was in a sad condition. With its door lock jammed and its main light broken it really got me piss off. After complaining 2 d college principle d matter was solve.

            D 1^st week of lecture was very challenging. On d 1^st day of lecture I hv 2 change all my earlier registered subjects 4 new ones because I hv 2 finish all my 2^nd yr subjects that I miss during my long vacation after d accident b4 I can took my 3^rd yr subjects. This mean….. I hv to learn all that subject with perfect strangers (2^nd yr students that I never knew) There is no one that I know n plus d fact I hv 2 mix d person younger then me n whom r already familiar with each other. It feels like when u transferred to a new school when u was a kid. So my 1^st task beside adjusting 2 d hectic schedule 4 this semester (class everyday from morning 2 late evening) is I also hv to broaden my influence n make new allies n enemies (hope not). Thanks 2 my soft skills that wasn’t a big hassle n plus d fact im d ‘special’ one make it easier 4 me 2 gain attention from d whole class (just raise my right hand n people will sure stare at me with jaws open)

            And u think d problem ends there, nnnnooooo. A few weeks later I realize there is a problem with my scholarship when im d only person who haven’t got d money transferred into my account. When I contacted d scholarship provider (JPA) they told me that they aint giving me money ths semester cause they hv deposit d money 4 d semester that I hv put on hold ( d semester that I skip after d accident). Then WHY there isn’t any money in my account? D answer is d UKM treasure is holding it. SHIT!!! n they need clarification from JPA b4 they can transfer it into my account. The whole process took a month time (ikat perut aku waktu tu) If that wasn’t enough, my Takaful insurance claim also was put on delay.

With all this problems plus d hectic schedule, it hv taken its toll on me. During that time I started 2 give up, blaming all of this problems onto that tragic accident. Would I hv 2 encounter all this problems if I hv not fallen asleep while driving n go barging onto a lorry. Earlier I thought Ive gone pass ths period in my life. But….when d going gets though I cant help 2 feel that sinking feeling once again. Its like when d time d doctor told me that I will not recover fully n I hv become handicapped 4 life. Maybe b4 this I just keep it strong n move a long without fully understand d true reason why im fated on d 15^th December 2005 I will became an handicapped. N only after 7 months after that day that I finally found d answer that keeps bugging me for all this time (I hope so….) During this harsh time that I found d reason why ths is happening to me. D answer was in front of me all this time, it just I ignored it. I don’t know why but on that day my heart was open 2 read d Quran with its translation (usually I only read d Quran without its translation) n when I got to Surah An-Najm Verse 55 which mean “Maka terhadap nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah kamu ragu-ragu?” my heart was so deeply touch that I cried…. I cried with my full heart like I never hv cried b4 (after d accident I never shed a tear until that day) Only then I realize that God put me into this mishap with a purpose n that is to remind me to be thankful for all I have n appreciate it. To be thankful 4 all God hv gave me such as health, my family, friends n d most important my faith….. Yes all this while when I was at d peak of my life, I forgotten all about it. I tough I can do everything I want n get what ever my heart desire. I miss use what God hv gave me, but like d saying goes that u don’t know what u got until its gone. It maybe hv taken me 7 months to really understood d true meaning behind that miss hap but after that I felt thankful that it does happen to me. Cause if u look it at another point of view its like a reminder from up above when u r going astray in ur journey in life n it gets u back on track. N like d verse from d song Time Of Ur Life by Green Day summarize it all : Its something unpredictable, But in the end its righ…… u never wanted it to happen, but its happen n it happen  4 a reason 

After that I feel like a heavy burden hv been lift up from my shoulder. Everything became easier for me….it all because ive change my point of view. I would think positive in everything that hv happen n will happen to me n d most important thing is ive found d answer Ive been searching for all this while. Hey! Life is unpredictable n it aint always go d way u hv plan it. SHIT happens but it depends on u 2 turn it around. Turn ur weakness into ur advantage n never give up. For me all d suffering n pain physically, mentally n especially emotionally hv made me a new men. In this condition im reaching new boundaries, scaling new heights n conquering new turfs. N for all of us : Have u find d true answer d reason WHY we were created n born into this world? (if u think u hv d answer please tell me cause im still in d quest 2 find it) DISCOVER YOURSELF….

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth it was worth all the while

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.