Finally after taking a long break, its time to write once again. Some wonder why d heck im taking so long to write this one. Well, I can give a million reason such as im really busy cause I hv started my studies, I don’t hv idea and so on… But d real reason is im not ready to write d final chapter about my life after that dreadful day. Its like when someone asked u : r u ready 2 die? And u guys know d answer I guess. But I insisted on this day I will tell d world d story that will summarize it all. So I will try my best to tell all of u how I hv cope with my disability n how I hv survived campus life as a handicapped person.

            After 8 weeks of industrial training, I was confidence that I was ready to continue my undergraduate studies in UKM. I better b ready cause d 1st month there was really hard especially d 1st few weeks. On d 1st day back UKM I was already in trouble when I  arrived a day earlier 4 college registration n hv 2 wait until d next day b4 I can enter my room. Luckily 4 me I can hang out at my friends house nearby with my stuff b4 I register. When I finally check into my hostel room to my disbelief d room they gave me was in a sad condition. With its door lock jammed and its main light broken it really got me piss off. After complaining 2 d college principle d matter was solve.

            D 1st week of lecture was very challenging. On d 1st day of lecture I hv 2 change all my earlier registered subjects 4 new ones because I hv 2 finish all my 2nd yr subjects that I miss during my long vacation after d accident b4 I can took my 3rd yr subjects. This mean….. I hv to learn all that subject with perfect strangers (2nd yr students that I never knew) There is no one that I know n plus d fact I hv 2 mix d person younger then me n whom r already familiar with each other. It feels like when u transferred to a new school when u was a kid. So my 1st task beside adjusting 2 d hectic schedule 4 this semester (class everyday from morning 2 late evening) is I also hv to broaden my influence n make new allies n enemies (hope not). Thanks 2 my soft skills that wasn’t a big hassle n plus d fact im d ‘special’ one make it easier 4 me 2 gain attention from d whole class (just raise my right hand n people will sure stare at me with jaws open)

            And u think d problem ends there, nnnnooooo. A few weeks later I realize there is a problem with my scholarship when im d only person who haven’t got d money transferred into my account. When I contacted d scholarship provider (JPA) they told me that they aint giving me money ths semester cause they hv deposit d money 4 d semester that I hv put on hold ( d semester that I skip after d accident). Then WHY there isn’t any money in my account? D answer is d UKM treasure is holding it. SHIT!!! n they need clarification from JPA b4 they can transfer it into my account. The whole process took a month time (ikat perut aku waktu tu) If that wasn’t enough, my Takaful insurance claim also was put on delay.

With all this problems plus d hectic schedule, it hv taken its toll on me. During that time I started 2 give up, blaming all of this problems onto that tragic accident. Would I hv 2 encounter all this problems if I hv not fallen asleep while driving n go barging onto a lorry. Earlier I thought Ive gone pass ths period in my life. But….when d going gets though I cant help 2 feel that sinking feeling once again. Its like when d time d doctor told me that I will not recover fully n I hv become handicapped 4 life. Maybe b4 this I just keep it strong n move a long without fully understand d true reason why im fated on d 15th December 2005 I will became an handicapped. N only after 7 months after that day that I finally found d answer that keeps bugging me for all this time (I hope so….) During this harsh time that I found d reason why ths is happening to me. D answer was in front of me all this time, it just I ignored it. I don’t know why but on that day my heart was open 2 read d Quran with its translation (usually I only read d Quran without its translation) n when I got to Surah An-Najm Verse 55 which mean “Maka terhadap nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah kamu ragu-ragu?” my heart was so deeply touch that I cried…. I cried with my full heart like I never hv cried b4 (after d accident I never shed a tear until that day) Only then I realize that God put me into this mishap with a purpose n that is to remind me to be thankful for all I have n appreciate it. To be thankful 4 all God hv gave me such as health, my family, friends n d most important my faith….. Yes all this while when I was at d peak of my life, I forgotten all about it. I tough I can do everything I want n get what ever my heart desire. I miss use what God hv gave me, but like d saying goes that u don’t know what u got until its gone. It maybe hv taken me 7 months to really understood d true meaning behind that miss hap but after that I felt thankful that it does happen to me. Cause if u look it at another point of view its like a reminder from up above when u r going astray in ur journey in life n it gets u back on track. N like d verse from d song Time Of Ur Life by Green Day summarize it all : Its something unpredictable, But in the end its righ…… u never wanted it to happen, but its happen n it happen  4 a reason 

After that I feel like a heavy burden hv been lift up from my shoulder. Everything became easier for me….it all because ive change my point of view. I would think positive in everything that hv happen n will happen to me n d most important thing is ive found d answer Ive been searching for all this while. Hey! Life is unpredictable n it aint always go d way u hv plan it. SHIT happens but it depends on u 2 turn it around. Turn ur weakness into ur advantage n never give up. For me all d suffering n pain physically, mentally n especially emotionally hv made me a new men. In this condition im reaching new boundaries, scaling new heights n conquering new turfs. N for all of us : Have u find d true answer d reason WHY we were created n born into this world? (if u think u hv d answer please tell me cause im still in d quest 2 find it) DISCOVER YOURSELF….