Baru2 ini timbul persoalan tentang nama yang aku gunakan dalam friendster  dikalangan pengunjung. Maka disini aku akan mengupas erti dan kisah disebalik nama2 yg sering / pernah aku gunakan. Jangan terkezut sememangnya aku ada banyak nama samaran/panggilan/manja/glamour dll =P

1. 1.Muhammad Suhaib

# Nama yang tertulis dalam IC aku. Nama ini diberikan oleh ibunda dan ayahanda tercinta berdasarkan nama salah seorang sahabat karib Rasulullah S.A.W. , Suhaib AR Rumi. Sahabat Rasulullah ini digambarkan memiliki ketampanan jejaka Rom dan namanya selalu di sebut ketika sambutan Maal Hijrah.Semoga aku mempunyai peribadi seperti tokoh ini yang sanggup berkorban segalanya demi Islam.

2. 2.Aib

# Nama manja yg digunakan oleh ahli keluarga terdekat SAHAJA.

3. 3.BonZeR

# Aku dapat gelaran ni masa form 1. Gara2 badan aku yg berisi ketika itu maka digambarkan seperti Bauncer yg selalu berjaga di pintu kelab malam dan tempat2 esklusif yg lain. Drpd gelaran ini jugalah aku gunakan utk alamat email aku BZR4.

4. 4.Bulat

# Sama jugak dapat mase junior high school. Tp aku x berape suka dengan gelaran ini sebab selalu digunakan untuk memperlekehkan aku yg agak BULAT. Hehe tapi mmg aku chubby pun mase tu.

5. 5.Gus

# Nickname yg senior kat asrama aku bagi dan diguna pakai mase kat SAMURA. Waktu tu dorang kate muke aku macam ahli politik indonesia Gus Dur. Haha walaupun aku x berape suke dikaitkan dgn Gus Dur yg kuat tido tu tapi aku guna balik name ni di Unimas, mungkin sbb nilai komersialnya tinggi kot.

6.Azura

# Nickname yg aku guna di alam maya. Mase tu tengah ketagih chatting kat MIRC. Walaupun aku hanya berumur 11 tahun tapi ramai yg ingin mengenali diriku sbb menyamar jadi gadis sekolah kui kui kui. Start gune name ni sbb mase tu minat kat classmate name Azura, tp orang name ni mmg selalu muncul dalam hidup aku…

7. 7.Firery_Castelo

# Nickname kat intenet jugak ni. Ketagih chatting balik mase cuti sekolah form 4. Kire name ni berjaya menarik perhatian ramai pengguna MIRC yg lain jugak la.

8. 8.Burning^Soul

# Nickname yg menggambarkan jiwa remaja yg sedang terbakar. Haha name yg aku guna dalam community circle99 (ntah ade lg ke x). Kadang2 gune jugak name ni utk chatting

9. 9.ScaR+FaCe

# Nama dalam frienster sebelum ini dan juga dlm beberapa komuniti sosial maya yg lain. Menggambarkan realiti muka aku selepas tragedi 15.12.2005. Berjaya menimbulkan perasaan gerun dikalangan pengunjung2 yg x mengenali diri ini yg sebenar huhuhu

1   10.Si Bengkok

# Nama yg aku pakai utk blog friensdter aku. Menceritakan kisah insan yg ingin hidup LURUS berlandaskan panduan yg diberikan namun kadang-kala terpesong akibat godaan dunia…. maka hasilnya bengkok, yakni cuba utk berjalan lurus tapi x berjaya lagi. Juga mengambarkan tangan kanan aku yg bengkok hehehe

1   11.JeBaT

# Nama lagenda dinasti Melaka ini aku gunakan dalam blog aku hjebat.blogspot.com yg mengupas isu2 panas tanah air. Aku gunekan namenya sbb kagum dengan prinsip perjuangan kebenaran yg ditonjolkan dan juga sebab aku sendiri suka melawan cakap org kecik2 dulu.

11 12.Si Penangkap RAMA2

# Nama ini muncul drpd post blog friester aku sebelum ini. Mengisahkan tentang aku tetapi menggunakan konsep penceritaan Metafora.Nak tau secara mendalam kena la baca post blog ni yg sebelum2nya. ;D

11 13.Zack

# Nama hutan aku mase bergiat aktif dalam UPSM dulu. Terbit apbl adik-beradik Batch 18 mula menggunakan nama lain semasa beraktiviti. Rasionalnya, dalam hutan dilarang panggil nama sebenar rakan2 kita, takut ada ‘benda’ ikut balik rumah… Waallahualam

14 14.SU

# Nama yg dikhaskan utk si Dia sahaja. Tapi ade jugak yg gatal2 panggil aku dengan name ni demi menjatuhkan imej aku sebagai jejaka gagah dan MACHO. Hehe antaranya macam lab assistant kak Sheela. Xpo2 nanti aku kenakan balik >: (

*Ini beberapa nama gelaran yg pernah, dan sedang aku gunakan. Mungkin ade lagi name2 panggilan lain yg kawan2 beri kat aku tp dah x ingat. Walau ape pun name yg kita guna yg penting jadilah diri kita sendiri dan x perlu berlakon sebagai orang lain. Semoga aku dapat menjadi seorang insan yg diredhai di DUNIA dan AKHIRAT, amin..

Something or someone triggers me to write about one distinct character of mine. The thing unfolded when a junior college of mine told me that life as a postgrad here looks pretty lonely. And when I asked her why is that, her spontaneous answer was to take me as an example. Of course that tick me off. So I ask her what’s d difference between me and her, an undergrad student. She told me that she got many friends here and their life r filled with their own activities. So my spontaneous explanation to her, I’ve that life before… Way more exciting then hers and as a proof I told her I’ve visited all d states in Malaysia during my 3 and a half years at UKM.

But I can’t totally disagree with her. To compare with my undergrad life before n as a postgrad now, it can be pretty quite n lonely sometime. Yup, my friends here sure are smaller in numbers if compared with d ones I’ve back in d peninsular. And my weekend now r filled with d visit to my research lab or spending time n money in d city. Whereas during my undergrad, almost every weekend me n my colleagues organized student activity which usually held outside our campus. So half an hour after our last conversation I texted her. ‘Partially true, my life here can be lonely sometimes, and that something I’ve to sacrifice to further my studies in this field. Even in d media, scientist r portrait as a loner. But I’ve choose this path, and there is a lot of differences between when u choose to do something n when you have to do something.’ D reply I got from her r quite shocking. She admitted that her life here has been lonely and she needed to change. It looks like she d one who’s in some emotion turbulence.

And to be honest, in my opinion we all been through that moment in life. A time when u felt like no one care, ur left to fend for urself and life is boring ; ( …. As for myself that moment came often especially at younger age, cause I’ve always been a LONE RANGER. I don’t have many friends during my early childhood, none of I still know now. And only a few of my primary school mates that I still kept in touch.I can’t recall any sweet memories from my junior high, and for my high school friends only a few of them whom I still kept their contact number. Maybe it’s because my family moved a lot then. But d main cause is I think is me myself. When I was a young boy, I have trouble mixing with d others, I tend to do things my way (and that sometimes lead me into trouble), I was a slow learner (I only master spelling n calculating when I was in standard two) and my emotions are unpredictable. Looks like pretty troublesome kid eh. But just recently I learn that there is some medical term for kids like me. It means children such as me r considered sick in some way (emotionally I think) and need special attention, care and sometimes medication. That term was not generally known in d psychotherapy field during my childhood days. So I grown up like the other normal kids, eventually I made it up until were I’m standing now… sometimes throwing tantrum along d way though hehehe.

It’s not I’m blaming anyone for the treatment I received during my childhood. I am very thankful to have very understanding parents n siblings. Whom manage to tolerate with all d fuss I throw at them. Teachers whom r very dedicated and never gave up on me. Friends who understand me and all whom helped me until I reached this height, THANK YOU ALL. So for me those sometimes lonely feeling which taunted us r just emotions that we human have. It just depends on how u handles it. For me, its a part of me .Sometimes I like to go my own way, even though the others are heading d opposite direction. But regularly i like to hang out with my friends, a lot of things r more interesting if done together-gether. Finally the phrases from d Whitesnake song – Here I go again concludes it all.

Cause I know what it means,

To walk on this lonely street of dreams,

Here I go again on my own,

Going down the only road I’ve ever known

Like a drifter I was born to walk alone,

I’ve made up my mind,

I aint wasting no more time….

PS: We were never alone actually, if we have faith in God. He is always there listening to our cries n pledge. Never d less I still miss my UPSM mates back home though…

Umur anda = 3 x 9 – 7 ÷ 5 x 9 + 12 ÷ 2

Anda berada di tengah2 KEREMAJAAN dan KEMATANGAN

Sudah 3 tahun anda melayakan diri untuk mengundi

Anda memiliki 2 buah kereta dan 4 orang isteri???

Anda mempunyai 2orang isteri dan 4 buah kereta???

Anda memiliki 2 buah handset dan lebih dari 4 pasang kasut! =P

Antara 24 cita2 anda adalah: memiliki cawangan restoran, bergelar doktor, menawan gunung Everest, berkahwin dan banyak lagi

2 + 2 = 4

2 x 2 = 4

2² = 4

Anda sudah hidup selama 24 tahun, berapa lama lagi masa anda yg tinggal…

This time                                                                                                                I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren’t enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I’ll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we´re meeting
Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I`ll be holdin’ my breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I’ll spend forever with

`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There`s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Somebody else that feels the same somewhere.
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It´s just like Déjà Vu
Me standin’ here with you
So I´ll be holdin`my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I spend forever with?

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
‘Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There´s gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There`s gotta be somebody for me out there.

You can´t give up!
When you’re Lookin´ for a diamond in the rough
Because you never know when it shows up
Make sure you´re holdin` on
‘Cause it could be the one, the one you´re waiting on

‘Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they´re not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There `s gotta be somebody for me out there.

Nobody wants to be the last one there
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.

I’ve keep humming this song for a while now. First time i heard it, the lyrics was so simple it felt like nickelback sang d song for me…. haha yeah in my dreams but i think this is one good song cause it resolve on certain part of our life….especially young people like me. We all hv mix feeling when it comes to intimate relationship…. there’s a time u felt so lonely wondering is there somebody for u somewhere out there. And what i like the most about this song is how it motivates u to keep on searching for d one we all dream of. As for myself have i found my only one? Hehe it’s too soon to tell but i hope i don’t have to travel further to find her, this is far enough laaa =P

Jika Kelantan terkenal dgn daerah Golok, Perlis dgn Padang Besar, dan Kedah dgn Air Itam. Sarawak pula terkenal dgn daerah Sarikin sebagai syurga barangan CIPLAK.Sehinggakan ada mengatakan bahawasanya percutian anda di bumi Kenyalang x lengkap jikalau x sampai ke kawasan pintu masuk Srwk-Kalimantan ni.Walaupun kurang mashyur berbanding Pasar Satok dan Waterfront di Kuching tetapi bg mereka yg GILA SHOPPING meskikan x menjejak kaki ke Sarikin.

Dan hanya selepas setahun berada di sini, barulah aku berpeluang melawat Sarikin (Nampak sgt ak bkn hantu shopping). Tu pun atas pelawaan rakan semaster aku, Mahziah yg jg x-coursemate aku di UKM dulu. Malah yg myebabkan ak lebih teruja adlh pelawaan beliau disebabkan supervisornya merangkap IDOLA aku Prof Ismail Ahmad mengundang kami utk menemaninya ke sana. Maka pd hr ahd yg lalu, seawal 6.30 pg kami dah memulakan perjalanan ke Sarikin. Aku agak pelik knp nak pg awl sgt, sedangkan perjalanan dr Unimas m’makan masa 1 suku jam je. Alasan yg diberikan oleh mereka2 yg dah sampai disitu bhw cuaca di Sarikin agak pelik, pkl 10pg dah panas terik mcm tgh hr.

Kt org sampai di pasar sarikin kire2 jam 8 pg. Lepas parking, prof dan kt org pengiringnya berpecah membawa haluan masing2. Berbeza dgn suasana di pasar siti khatijah dan padang besar, pasar sarikin benar2 mcm pasar. Hanya kedai kayu beratapkan zink di kiri dan kanan jalan… tiada struktur khas dibina bg menempatkan peniaga di sini. Namun keadaan masih selesa utk membeli-belah. Antr barang yg ada dijual disini dgn harga ‘istimewa’ adlh tikar buluh, telekung, baju- jersey-beg-topi-kasut-jam branded (CIPLAK la). Ade juga bbrp gerai jual brg2 pelik spt kolam air plastik (utk budak2 tu, tp kalo bpk bdk nak mandi pun blh), telur penyu, dan periuk belanga.Dan antr item2 ciplak yg mjd hak milik aku adlh: T-shirt, cap, telekung dan beg hp bersulam. X lupa jgk kerepek sukun n ubi… tp pelikkan ape kes aku beli telekung? Haha mestilah utk insan tersayang. Hasilnya duit dlm dompet aku tgl RM17 je. Hehe tp kire orait la sbb wlpn ak x keluarkan fulus dr mesin ATM tp ak masih dpt berbelanja utk aku sendiri, yg tersayang n member2.

Dalam pukul 10 pg kami org menamatkan ‘field trip’ kami sbb dah panas gilerrr… mmg btl la kenyataan member ak sblm btolak td. On d way balik prof singgah dulu di pasar basah utk beli bbrp jenis sayur-sayuran (tp periuk kera kire sayur jgk k???) Hehe sblm hantar ak n mahz blk prof belanja kita org makan dulu di batu 7. Kire jam 1230 kt org sampai di Unimas.

Maka penilaian field trip kali ini adalah bermanfaat. Kenapa? 1. Sbb aku hanya keluar duit utk beli2 brg je, lain semua di sponser. 2. Ak dpt pg melawat salah satu destinasi tkenal kat Swk ni (Skrg tgl Miri j ak blm sampai) dan 3. Ak dpt meluangkan masa bsama idola ku berduskusi dan membincangkan persoalan akademik dn isu-semasa)

A new dawn is awakening, in a few days another year will past us and the day n month will turn to 1 once more. For us Muslim a new year had already started a few hours ago. Luckily this year the Muslim calendar n the conventional calendar end almost at the same time.

Like every year a new year offer new hope n beginning for some of us. For those who have something to accomplish in life, they will set some goals n target to be full field (hopefully). As for myself setting goals at the beginning of a new year are just not enough. I would also look back at my last year resolution and analyze if it have been fully, nearly, of narrowly accomplished.

My 2008 resolutions and the year end results are:

#Continue my master study at any institution except UKM }Now im studying far away in UNIMAS, Swk so it’s quite an accomplishment

#Secure a scholarship }Thankfully but i have to suffer for 5 months before finally manage to do so

#Completing by lab work base on my Gantt schedule }It’s something kind of a miracle for a research postgrad to get it done especially here in Unimas, so NO this one i failed to accomplish

#Gain new knowledge, experience and friends } One of d main reason why i set my 1^st resolution, and this one i can confidently said is fully accomplished =D

#Change my bad habits } One thing about me is ill get fire up in the beginning n the fire start to fade away near d finish line… that’s one bad habit i need to change also

#Find a lover } There something in life, that its better be left in God’s hand…. i try my best n hopefully the result can only be known next year ;D

My 2009 resolutions are:

#Finish all my lab work so by 2010 ill only have to do my thesis writing

#Present my research proposal n results confidently at d department monthly seminar

#Go to a research symposium in d peninsular

#Go site seeing in Miri especially Mulu National Park

#Climb mount Santubong

#Lose weight-target 68 65kg!

#Lose my bad habits including d fire problem =P

PS: Its good to set goals for yourself, it’ll get u motivated n even though u failed to accomplish it at least u know what when wrong n u can try harder next time =D

Setelah hampir 4 thn bgelar penulis blog separuh masa kini tiba masanya aku mengorak langkah ke alam penulisan yg lebih berat dan serius. Ku rasakan segala pandangan dan idea mengenai isu semasa merangkumi agama, sosial dan khususnya POLITIK di Mlys tidak perlu ku pinggirkan lagi.

Mahupun begitu, segala cetusan itu tidak akan aku lampirkan dlm laman web friendster ini. Utk topik2 yg lebih komersial dan mengcakupi pembaca yg lebih besar, maka aku telah membina sebuah laman web baru b’gelar HANG JEBAT. Kenapa ia dinamakan sedemikian? Seharusnya anda melayari laman web t’sebut utk m’getahui jwpnnya.

Dan sabaiknya laman web FS ini akan kekal sebagai catitan diari kehidupanku seperti sbelum ini jua. Jika anda mahu mengenali sebahagian lagi diri ku ini yg lantang berhujah, geliga berfikir serta gigih mengkritik secara membina n meruntuh segeralah ke alamat yg telah tertera.

PS: Every journey began with a step… kemanakah langkah baru ini akan membawa diri ini? Waallahualam

Exactly three years have passed since the tragic 15^th December incident that changed me physically and mentally. It’s not like i can’t let go of the past and move on, but its good to reanalyze what have happened throughout my life and look how far have i come. Ok enough with all the philosophies, here is one unique way of retelling the story.

Once upon a time in a far faarrr away ‘kampung’ lived a young boy name ZACK. Zack was a hyperactive child who love to catch butterflies. He loved to catch them because he likes to look at the wonderful colours the butterflies have. In his collection, Zack has a wide array of different sizes and colourful butterflies which he caught using his looonngg and BIG butterfly net.

One day while on his way to school, Zack suddenly spotted a very large and unique butterfly which he have never seen before. He quickly ran home to get his butterfly net and his glass container where he kept all his butterflies. Soon after that he rushed back to the spot where he saw the butterfly, and luckily for him it was still there. Without hesitation Zack swing his butterfly net at the butterfly but before he can catch it the butterfly flew off. When he saw the butterfly try to run away, Zack quickly chased after it.

Suddenly, while chasing the butterfly Zack lose his footing and fell down. Due to the fall, Zack injured his knees. While his long and big butterfly net broke into two and his glass container shattered into pieces letting all his butterfly collection free. Seeing all his hard caught butterflies flew away in front of him made Zack very SAD…. For several days, Zack cried for his losses.

On the seventh day after the tragedy, while he was sleeping an old man came to him. The old man said to Zack “Young boy you should let go of the past, there is so much wonderful things out there waiting for you to discover. Life ain’t about how many butterflies you caught, its about how you appreciate its beauty and share it with the people you loved”. When Zack woke up he realize it was just a dream, and the dream had made him understood that life is unpredictable, but in the end what have happened to him was made to be.

Taking the tragedy positively Zack urge himself to get back doing the things he love so much, which is observing the beauty in butterflies. The incident have open his perspective in life and made him realize there are better ways to enjoy his passion for butterflies. Now every time he wants to look at butterflies he will go to a lake garden near his home. This way he can enjoy looking at the beautiful butterflies without disturbing them. He also can look at all the wonderful insects in the garden rather than just looking at butterflies…

Morale of the story
Life is wonderful if you take things positively. It can be unpredictable sometimes but don’t let some mishaps ruin all your dreams.

This is my real experience in life written in a metaphoric concept. The butterflies in the short story are the metaphor for my dreams and the long and big butterflies net is my right hand.

PS: Currently Zack is pursuing his dreams in a another kampung. With just a little experience, knowledge and wisdom in his stride, Zack left his kampung to pursue his dream somewhere else. Wish him luck =D

To be continue…..

Salam bloging utk blogers seantero… hehe lps menyepi utk sepurnama kini ak kembali dgn post tbaru. Bkn ape cume bln ni mcm2 benda dah jd dlm life aku… sibuk dgn aktvt2 ilmiah dan lebih byk lg yg berbtk bkn ilmiah =P

Bermule dgn kehadiran member2 dr UKM yg dtg ats sbb tugas n keje… mule2 member aku Paan dtg sbb company die ade bkk booth kat Expo Pldgn Pgkt Swk pd 25 Okt - 2 Nov yg lalu. Bbrp hr lepas tu muncul pulak Ejan yg lepak dgn ak selama seminggu utk mhadiri Simposium MSAB d kchg. Mcm bese la ak kene jd driver n tour guide utk member2 ak yg dtg ke bumi kenyalang…. Semestinya dlm tmph 3 mgg tu ak b’ulang-alik dr Unms-kuchg hmpr stp hr.  Kini blh dikatakan aku sdh mahir dgn selok-belok bndry Kuching (jika anda bminat utk mdptkn pkhidmatan tour guide dr saye jgn segan2 utk mhubungi sy =D)

Selain melayan sahabat-handai yg dtg, ak jg sibuk dgn kerja2 sbg ahli comitee Simposium MSAB. Sbb ak dipertanggungjwb dgn tugas2 teknikal maka ak perlu hadir lebih awal dan pulang lebih lewat bbanding ahli comitee yg lain. Km org technical crew jg perlu sentiasa ade di setiap event bg memastikan semua peralatan dpt digunakan dgn lancar. Wlpn sbk dgn tugas comitee tp ak smpt jg utk beramah-mesra dgn delegasi dr UKM, membaca poster2 yg dipamerkan dismpg memenangi acara cabutan bertuah (hahaha bangga gile jd wakil UNIMAS n UKM naik pentas =P)

Sekembalinya member2 aku ketanah asal dorang, ak masih lg sibuk…. Lps stop lab work ak selama seminggu ak kene bergegas utk kejar blk keje yg dah lame tertunde. Dan hsl yg menggalakkan membakar smgt ak utk bekerja lebih mase… sampai weekend pun OT.  Antara sbb lain jgk adlh demi mengejar tarikh progress report yg perlu dihantar akhir bulan ni. Dan di mlmnya mase terisi dgn aktvt sosial spt jamuan bbq ppisahan bdk2 aras aku, unoficial MSAB dinner ngan geng2 master dll aktvt bkn ilmiah. X lupe jgk ak kn mjd driver hrpn utk mhantar member2 undergrads yg ingin pg k airpot n stesen bas dsbbkn ak antr yg x blk.

Kesannye exercise routines ak sdkt tganggu… hasil kerja yg blambak dan makan pun turut blambak2 hohoho (tp still maintain la (^^,)…kesan lain network of friends ak trt btambah, hehe x lame lg blh sampai 500 lor. Hmm summarynye pengalaman mematangkan kite, dan itulah yg aku cari bile aku btekad utk smbg bljr di sini…. hopefully usaha aku x dipersia2kan

-Tribute wat teman2 lame dn baru kenal \(^o^)/

In life we’ll keep gaining and loosing money, friends, love etc…. but im not talking about any mentioned. The thing i’ve gained and trying very hard to lose is my WEIGHT. A keep repeating post raya syndrome, i’ve gain a few kg of unwanted body mass this aidilfitri.

A few logical explaination to this build up are:

1. My body metabolism rate is lower during the fasting month (i rarely exercise and constrain myself from heavy work due to fasting obligation)

2. Suddenly when raya came there was a surge of food intake (and who can resist those raya delights such as ketupat+kuah kacang n lemang+rendang….nyum2)

So when those two equation r mix together = FAT….Hahaha about 3kg of it. Wow to think of it, i did lose myself  to those hunger pang during the holidays. And now im trying to lose back those extra 3 kg of unwanted extra burden on my back. Currently ive restarted my exercise routines (sebulan lebih dah x dok exercise =P)…. a combination of aerobic+weight lift+abs crunch drill.

I have been doing those exercise for a week now…. but the result r’nt showng yet. Maybe because my food intake r still the same so it take a longer time for those fat burning effect to take place. Maybe it will take months before i reach my IDEAL body weight. (Right now im a little bit over weight, normal MBI r 18-25, im now at 26 huhu)

Thinking of taking those diet scheme promoted everywhere this days….hmm but can i still decrease my food intake, now i just ate for lunch n dinner…. ahhh  tu la pulun lagi makan semue time raye hr tu, padan muke dgn aku. Hehehe cue sera cue sera, what will be will be…. and I WILL LOSE WEIGHT! =D

Assalamualaikum dan salam perpaduan,

Sekembalinya aku ke Unimas setelah seminggu menyambut Aidilfitri di semenanjung tanah air, semuanya dapat dirumuskan dgn satu perkataan….LELAH.

Hehehe mmg pelik entri kali ni dimulekan dgn rumusan/kesimpulan tp itulah keadaanya raye aku thn ni. Dalam tempoh mase 7 hari aku merentas laut cina selatan utk kembali ke kpgku di JB, seterusnya bergerak naik k Melaka, Perak, lps tu turun balik ke KL….. huhu blm hbs lagi, dan dlm 14jam terakhir xpdc ak merentas dr KL-JB-Kuching.

Semuanya berlaku dgn sungguh pantas sekali….hr ini di negri lain dan keesokan harinya dinegeri lain pula…. huh blh dikatakan 1/2 raye aku kali ini dihabiskan di atas jalan raye. Tp itulah lumrahnya bile anda, dan keluarga anda bergelar PERANTAU. Setiap kali raye kami menempuh beratus2 kilometer utk kembali ke kampung halaman demi menjiwai roh sebenar Aidilfitri.

Utk pengetahuan semua keluargaku menetap di JB, maka secara automatiknya kpgku di JB. Namun begitu kpg ibuku pule di Melaka dan ayahku di Perak, manakala member2 ak pula kebanyakannya menetap di KL. Jadi utk berkunjung ke semua destinasi2 tersebut sememangnya memerlukan ketahanan fizikal, minda, emosi dan jiwe yg kental bersertakan perancangan yg sistematik.

Hehe mungkin inilah cabaran bile anda seorang pegembara, tp bak kate pepatah ‘jauh berjalan, luas pemandangan’…. ternyata tepat sekali kata2 org dahulu-kala mmg banyak yg dpt dipelajari bile kite merantau ni. Semestinya lepas ni laie byk tempat yg ingin aku terokai. Sekian salam lebaran utk semua mislimin/mat dan ucapan terima kasih utk semua tuan rumah yg sudi melayan diri ini ketika kunjungan tempohari n juge yg akn mendatang nnt.

Dendangan lagu Sudirman tengiang2 dlm pale otak aku semenjak seminggu yg lps…. Bukan sbb dah angau nak balik kpg ku di Jhr, tp teruja utk kembali k kampung angkat aku di Sri Amn Swk… Ha jgn memain kt swk pun ak ade kpg…termasuklah skali kt Mlk, Prk, Slgr, Kdh dn N9…. hahaha kalo setiap kpg bg ak duit raye RM 100 loaded jgk ak.

Tp tujuan ak pulang k pangkuan family angkt d Sri Amn bukanlah demi mengutip duit ghaye. Tp demi menjage hati org tue angkatku dan juge melepaskan kerinduan berpuasa bersama keluarga….x dpt keluarga sedarah daging keluarga angkt pun jdlah. Jd selama 3 hr 2 mlm berjaye la aku menagih kasih sebuah entiti bergelar keluarga.

Secara ringkasnya, x byk aktvt pun yg ak wat kat sane…. sekadar ronda2 di sekitar kpg, bersungkey (berbuka dlm bhs swk) dn bsahur bsama keluarga angkat dn menjalankan solat terawih berjemaah (kat unimas mgg ptame j jemaah pastu malas wat kt blk je huhu). Wlpn perjalanan hmpr 4 jam menuju ke sana dan 4 jam lg utk kembali agak meletihkan tp aku dpt rasekan ianya cukup berbaloi….

Wlpn aku sekadar bgelar anak angkat bg mereka ttp layanan yg parents angkt bg kat aku x penah kurang malah lebih lg dr anak2 mereka sendiri…. x ckp dgn layanan mesra, ditambah lg dgn buah tangan dan baju raye utk di bw pulang (hehe warne theme raye aku kali ini adlh UNGU). Itulah yg watkan aku cukup segan nak tgl lebih lame disamping komitmen sbg student master….Tp insyaallah kalo ade kesempatan ak akn dtg lg lain kali. Morale of d story aku kali ini adalah PULANGLAH k pangkuan keluarga anda x kire betape jauh dn sukarnya pd Hari Raye nnt. Sbb tiade yg dpt mengembirakan hati org tue kite lebeh drpd dpt menatap muke anak2ny di hari Lebaran. =D

Get Hari Raya Graphics Here

PS : Pd kesempatan ini aku nak ucapkan Selamat Hari Raye Aidilfitri 1429 H pd semua yg mengenali diri ini. Semoga raye kali ini dipenuhi detik2 indah

Kali ni aku menyambut ramadhan dgn suasana yg berbeza dr thn2 sblm ini. Ini kali pertama aku berpuasa berjauhan dr family dan member2 rapat aku d semenanjung. Jika dulu ak cume perlu bangun dan makan sahur @ pg beli juadah sahur di cafe berdekatan tp utk ramadhan kali ini tiap2 pg aku dan member2 jiran sebelah akan masak sendiri makanan sahur kami.

Seawal 3 pagi aku dah bangkit utk sama2 menyediakan santapan kami dengan hanya menggunakan 2 periuk nasi elektrik…. dan pengalaman menyediakan juadah utk santapan YAB Dato Seri Muhiyiddin Yasin ternyata x sia2. Setakat ni juadah kita org cume berasaskan nasi putih/ goreng dan 1/2 jenis lauk. Tp jgn pandang enteng pd periuk nasi kami sebab nasi briyani pun dah pernah menjadi santapan sahur kita org.

Bercerita ttg berbuka pulak, kat sini pun aku masih mengekal tradisi berbuka beramai2 seperti d UKM dulu….memandangkan housemate aku kebanyakkannya non-muslim maka aku berbuka dgn jiran2 rumah sebelah…. dan disini nafsu berbuka agak terkawal berbanding swaktu d smnjg dulu. Munkin dsbbkan juadah berbuka yg d jual disini kurang variasi dan daya penariknya berbanding ape yg biasa d jual dibazar ramadhan d smnjg tnh air.

D sblh malamnya pula aktvt di isi dgn menunaikan solat terawih di surau / kat

bilik je kalo aku malas huhuhu….nak pegi masjid mmg jauh la dan kalo nak pg pun kena naik bas….. D sbbkan ak perlu bangkit seawal 3 pagi dan kemudian pergi ke lab pulak utk wat kerja2 ak sbg student master maka pukul 10mlm ak dah masuk tido.

Sememangnya d bulan yg mulia ini Allah SWT murahkan

rezeki mahluk2nya…. akhirnya setelah lelah menanti selama 5 bulan, bayaran biasiswa aku sampai jugak k akaun aku…. dan hasilnya munculah HP baru dlm hidup aku…. Sony Ericson W76i dgn kamera 3.2 mp berharga RM900….huhuhu mmg agak mahal tp memandangkan hp lame aku tu dah hampir 3 thn aku pakai tanpe jemu, jd xpela boros sikit =D

PS: Video kt org masak sahur yg ak ambk gune hp baru tu x dpt nak upload sbb bsr sgt =(

Today is a beautiful day indeed. Why I say that because today I still have the pleasure to wake up and breath the fresh air that God have be given to us. Today I still can walk freely to anywhere my heart desire (well almost anywhere I think). But the greatest gift of all is to live in a wonderful and peaceful country called MALAYSIA. And a few days from now we will celebrate our 51^th years of independence.

So what does it means to a youth like me to celebrate this historical event for our nation. Im not even half of our independence age, people my age were born when our first national car were produced (Proton Saga back in 1985), we never have to endure the hardship of our older generation who lived under colonization era and the communist period. To some of us the independence mean we can :

· Hang out at the Mamak stalls until the wee hours

· Enjoy a delicious Nasi Lemak for only RM1 (only in someplace laa)

· Free internet usage at Hotspots (for wireless internet only)

But surely it means a lot more than that….and for me it’s the peace and prosperity we enjoy all this years. Where else in this world we can see so many races (Malay, Chinese, Indian and The pribumi of the peninsular, Sabah & Sarawak) live peacefully and working together hand by hand. Even people who have the same skin color, share the same language and eat the same type of food quarrel and fight all the time, such example is what is happening in the middle east. To make matter worse some people who used to live together as a nation, share the same culture have now break ties and bonds just for the reason they don’t share the same ideology anymore. This is what have happened to the Koreans after the Americans came to their land in the name of liberation (DAMN those called kononnya freedom fighters). Just look at the result, those two called NORTH and SOUTH are now threatening each other with……..

E = MC²

(The equation that made the destructive effect of nuclear bomb possible)

Back in our homeland each of our race have their own unique culture that represent themselves.

	MALAY	CHINESE	INDIAN
Clothing	Baju Melayu	Chiongsam	Sari
Food	Nasi Lemak	Chicken Rice	Roti Canai
Famous landmark	Shah Alam Mosque	Penang Great Temple	Batu Caves Temple
Celebration	Hari Raya Aidilfitri	Chinese New Year	Deepavalli

And even thought every race have their own identities we all still can seat side by side and enjoy each other presence. Example of this true unique bond is warmly felt at big holiday celebrations such as the Hari Raya open house event hold by the Malays. As for myself I can’t forget an incident from my childhood days when a good hearted Chinese women sent me home from school after I have miss my school bus. And while i was waiting in line to see the doctor after my tragic accident a few years ago, I still can remember how an old Indian lady was very concern about my injuries and had given me some words of encouragement. Also how could I forget the kindness and friendliness of the Sarawak people when I came to pursue my study in UNIMAS. The racial mix that makes our country very unique and beautiful.

Maybe the same feeling is not felt by some of us especially the younger generations and the prejudice felt among the different race here in Malaysia is the biggest threat to our nation. So as a countrymen that love his country dearly, I urge every Malaysians to put our differences behind and celebrated our 51^th independence together-gether (a true Malaysian way of saying bersama2 hehe)To me this is what I as a Malaysian treasure the most.

Agak pelik jugak tajuk post akukali ni….Apekah erti sebenar menawan sebuah menara gading? Adekah ianya beerti aku telah grad dgn CGPA 4 Flat atau bangunan chanselori tempat aku menuntut ilmu telah dirampas, ala2 terorrist??? Adekah2 itu semua tadi sebenarnya x ade kait mengait dgn tajuk tersebut (Intro yg jauh terpesong)

Kejadian sebenar disebalik tajuk diatas  adalah berkisar ttg keberjayaan (ade ke dlm kamus DBP?) ak menawan puncak ke 7 sepanjang karier aku sebagai mount

climber ala2 kadar gitu….dan kini tambah title O.K.U di belakangnya…. Sebelum ni ak telah dgn penuh penat lelah memanjat G. Lumut (Jhr), G. Ledang 4x (Jhr) dan jg G. Kinabalu (Sabah, maklumat tbaru menyatakan ianya gng ke-4 ttinggi di A. Tenggara). Sedikit fakta berkaitan Gng Gading: terletak di daerah Lundu Swk, 956m dr paras laut, merupakan rizab kawasan hutan Negara, terkenal dgn air terjunnya….

Perjalanan ke Gng Gading memakan mase 2 jam dr Unimas….setibanya di kaki gng ahli2 xpdc tanpa membuang mase membuat persiapan mendaki dgn bergambar sampai puas, membuang segala apa yg terpendam di tandas terakhir sblm pendakian dan x dilupakan sedikit regangan otot sebagai cukup syarat….hehehe. Kami mulamendaki kire pkl 11 pg. Permulaan trek ke puncak di alas dgn bongkah2 batu tetapi x lame kemudian permukaan muke bumi sebenar gng gading mengambil alih tugas tempat kaki berjejak. Semakin menghampiri kawasan air terjun ke-7 (destinasi pertama), permukaan yg perlu didaki menjadi semakin cerun. Akhirnya 1 stgh jam selepas bertolak kami pun sampei k kawasan air terjun….

`Aik sik kan sampei ctok jak. Sik naik sampei puncak kah pok?’ Ak bertanye

dgn bahase swk yg sedikit sengau kpd pihak penganjur….`Kitak mauk naik sampei puncak kah?’ nya bertanya kembali pd aku…`Aaoookkkkk’ ak reply…Setelah mendapat undian hampir 1/3 dewan parlimen, pihak penganjur akhirnya bersetuju membawa insan2 berjiwe kental, emosi tahan physco dan kaki x kenal letih ke puncak menara gading. Ttp sblm pendakian pihak penganjur dgn kerasnya menyatakan bahawa pendakian ke puncak akan dilakukan tanpa henti bagi menjimatkan mase….malah ade dikalangan mereka dgn nada sedikit bongkak mengatakan hanya dirinya dpt sampei di puncak dlm mase yg ditetapkan….(eh2 konon ko pakai baju sponser powerbar ko nak ek…rilek ar pengalaman mengatakan kekuatan fizikal bukan semata2 faktor penentu keberjayaan seseorang dlm xpdc pendakian mcm ni….ak bekate dlm hati)

Kire2 tiga puluh org meneruskan pendakian utk sampai ke puncak manakala selebihnya tinggal utk bermain air di kwsn air terjun. Perjalanan ke puncak lebih sukar dgn permukaan yg lebih cerun dan bahaye…. Pendakian tanpa henti ternyata mencabar beberapa ahli xpdc yg x bersedia utk aktvt2 lasak spt ini. Ak cb menberi dorongan kpd mereka yg sudah terlalu keletihan dn mula menyesali keputusan utk ikut pendakian hingga ke puncak. Kire2 setengah perjalanan utk sampai ke puncak kumpulan xpdc tlh terpecah kpd 3. Tanpa ak sedari aku sebenarnya berada di kumpulan hadapan, bile sampai kat puncak br tahu siapa depan dan blkg. Kire2 pukul 2 suku ak sampai ke puncak G. Gading…. Tertulis di situ Gng Gading Summit 3.8km! (Jgn terkezut 3.8km tu bkn ketinggian gng tp jarak dr base camp di kaki gunung hingga ke puncak….pelik jugak ak mule2 tgk)

Setelah duduk melepaskan lelah dan bergambar dgn pelbagai aksi selama 20 minit kami memulakan misi turun ke air terjun 7. Mase turun ke kwsn air terjun mengambil mase hampir 1 jam. Setibanya di situ kelihatan kump yg x ikut ke puncak sudah bersiap sedia utk turun k base camp…. Kerna menunggu sebilangan ahli kumpl k puncak yg msh blm sampai, kt org yg tiba lebih awal mengambil kesempatan utk menikmati kesejukkan air terjun tersebut. Tp ak menolak nafsu utk mandi dan sekadar bermain air gitu2 je sbb risau berendam terlalu lame mengundang kekejangan otot. 15 minit kemudian kita org kumpulan di belakang memulakan penurunan baki 1.5km utk sampei di kaki gunung. Tepat pukul 5 ptg aku pun sampai di base camp. Setelah berehat dan menjamu hidangan tgh hr (bygkn naik hingga ke puncak hanya
beralaskan bbrp potong kuih dan 1 bar cokelat) pkl 6 ptg kami pun bertolak
kembali ke unimas.

Sedikit pergulungan dr aku pendaki gng amature….jika dibezakan dgn pendakian2 aku sblm ni, sememangnya G. Gading antr puncak terendah yg telah aku tawan….Tetapi pendakian ke puncak x semudah yg disangka….antara faktor yg menguji ketahan aku kali ini adalah kepantasan proses pendakian ini

dilakukan….Jika sblm ni, aktvt2 pendakian yg ak ikuti disertakan sekali dgn
upacara camping yakni bermalam dipertengahan gng sblm meneruskan perjalanan k puncak. Tp kali ini pendakian hingga ke puncak dan turun kembali mengambil mase hanya 6 jam. Selain dari itu aku agak hampa dgn view di puncak pendakian kali ini….bukan ape jika jika sblm ni aku takjub melihat keindahan ciptaan tuhan dr puncak gng2 yg aku daki ttp sayang sekali puncak gng gading di kelilingi pohon rendang yg menghalang panorama di sekeliling gunung. Namun di penghujung pendakian aku tetap PUAS! Kerna sejak dr awal tibanya aku di bumi kenyalang aku tlh menanam azam utk menikmati keindahan flora dan fauna tanah bertuah ini….Harap lps ni ak berkesempatan utk pergi menjelajah taman Negara Miri yg terkenal dgn gua Niah pula…=D

Suddenly I’ve just realise that I got some strange obsession for SHOES,
SANDALS and what we call it here seliper…. when i counted all kinds of
footwear i have in my possession right now…. WOW, An astonishing total of 7
pair!… in detail 2 of them are running shoes (Adidas), a pair of snicker (New
Balance),leather shoes (Camel) and sandal (Bata) plus 2 slippers (Asadi and
unknown brand seliper jamban huhuhu). Oh yeah almost forgot the ones I left back home : 1 basketball sport shoe (Adidas), 1 outdoor shoe (Bata) and 1 just recently purchased Asadi slipper. A total of 10 footwear in my belongings…. quite a lot laa for a guy i think (Hehe maybe more than an average gurl maybe)

A little overdose of footwear here a shoe doctor might labelled me…. but i think the cause for this bundle of kasut and selipar are my eagerness to have the right kind of footwear for the right occasion. Running shoe for my exercise routines, snicker for my lab work and jalan2, black leather shoe for formal occasion, outdoor shoe for my outdoor activities, sandals for casual/‘santai’ mood and of course seliper jamban u know for what i guess… Hehe of course the right shoe for my attire (no fashion critics will caught me wearing unmatched shoes and clothing lorrr)

But sometimes it can get a little out of hand…. what i mean is that sometimes i buy shoes i seldom use (One think for d record, im not a shoe collector. Every shoes ive buy ill wear them). Usually this will happen when i got extra cash…. the temptation for a new slick pair of sport shoe can get into me (So please don’t bring me near to a sport store when MOSTI scholarship hv been
deposit into my account eh). Hehe action talk louder than words… just recently
i bought a pair of running shoe and slipper. And this semester also i got a
pair of snicker. 3 new footwear in 2 months time (tu duit blm msk lagi kalo dah
x tau lah huhuhu)

Even though i got a lot of shoes im no match for the Philippines x 1^st lady Imelda Marcos who have thousands and thousands of footwear. And im have no intention to break her record….Just enough for my active lifestyle. But in my opinion people tend to take for granted the important of wearing the right shoe for the activity their engaging with. For example a snicker with a thin and flat base is not a suitable footwear for jungle tracking and hiking activity (judging from my outdoor experience). Basically just put it like this: Your shoes are the only thing between ur foot and the direct contact with the environment. So think carefully before u put on ur shoe next time eh mate. (Haha maybe ill be a shoe store taukey one day =P

(Sorry no pics this time guys…admin say i have reach my account limit….sucks)

Kemuncak pengajian di menara gading semestinya adalah detik menerima ijazah ketika upaca konvokesyen. Pada 10hb 8 yg lps aku jua telah bergelar seorang graduan universiti. Setelah gigih menuntut ilmu selama 3 stgh thn di UKM, berprogram di seluruh pelosok Malaysia, menawan 4 puncak gunung dan koma 4 hari…. kemanisan ketika ijazah diserahkan ke tangan ku memang telah lama aku idamkan. Alhamdulillah…

Disini aku nak ucapkan perhargaan ku kpd insan2 yg tlh byk berjasa dalam misi aku utk bergelar graduan. Pertama tentunya aku amat terhutang budi kpd kedua ibu-bapa yg telah mengasuh dn mendidik aku dr kecil hinggalah berjaya ke IPTA. Juga kpd adik-beradik ku yg banyak membantu dan member dorongan utk aku pegi lebih jauh. Jutaan terima kasih buat keluagaku atas segala pengorbanan mereka.

Seterusnya terima kasih juga buat rakan2 ku dr alam persekolahan hinggalah ke peringkat U. Khasnya ditujukan kpd teman2 seperjuangan Urusetia Pembangunan Sumber Manusia Batch 18 yg berada disisiku ketika susah dn senang semasa di UKM. X dilupakan guru2 serta seluruh para pendidik yg telah mengajar ku dr dulu hingga kini.

Akhirnya kepada sesiapa sahaja yg pernah mengenali diri ini, antaranya ialah Pak guard yg tlg ak mase sesat kt shopping mall kecik2 dulu , aunty Chinese yg hantar ak blk mase kena tinggal bas zmn sek ren dulu serta para doktor dan nurse yg merawat ak lps accident. =D

The ghost inside of me hv creep outside it’s cave once more…. and this time it have found a new way to traumatise me…. HOOEEE HOOEEE HOOOEEEEWWWW. ….. Nope this aint a retell of my encounters with a Jembalang, Pontianak or Jenglot. It something more scarier than that…. It is the thought of WHAT IF….

In life we r granted with choices… and we seem to always argue which one is the best…. or just perhaps maybe the choice we hv made r not so darn awful….maybe the choice itself wont made u think so much but sometimes the consequences of that choice will someway traumatised you. Before this i was traumatised with my choice to send my car for repair in Klang, Selangor that
eventually lead to i fallen into a deep coma for 4 days n become permanently handicapped. And the WHAT IF though keep flocking in my deep mind and shattered heart after that. Thank God i finally able to get over it after 7 months.

Now so suddenly the WHAT IF syndrome reappeared and this time an article about reconstructive surgery triggered the
though flushing back into my mind. It mentioned that a lecture in USM r leading a team of physicians and researchers to a new level of reconstructive surgery here in our homeland. And what made it more appealing is he mentioning about complex hand injury recovery which is the same with my injurie. Before this the orthopaedic who treated me said that my hand will remain handicapped for life and at that moment their’s no such expertise in Malaysia that can help me to recover fully. So i wasnt hoping i can ever recover fully, but now after reading that newspaper article, a new HOPE hv appear.

But hope can be very miss leading if u don’t know how to handle it…. It can motivate u but it also can bring u down when the end result is not like what ur hoping for. For now i can live with the fact that im permanently handicapped….but i cant argue that there always a small part of me that want the full function of my right hand back.  And after 3 years, i can help to think about WHAT IF that can be done (my right hand recovery)…. but at what cost? I hv already put a lot of burden on my parents shoulder when
the accident happened…. thankfully a part of it was settled with my insurance
claim. But now there’s no other way to finance the reconstructive surgery without a bomb on my parents financial budget…. except if i won a lottery or
something like that.

The most reasonable choice now is to put it all aside and complete my master degree 1^st. And if by that time i can save around RM 10 K than there is a
chance i can become NORMAL again before i reach 26. Hmm but then i have to stay unmarried longer though….  life full of choices eh?

Ini adalah sequel kpd post ak yg lebih awal bertajuk

`AKU, CINTA & …’ setahun yg lalu. Jika dulu ak berikan persepsi tentang cinta kini ak akn berkongsi
pengalaman berjinak2 dgn api C.I.N.T.A. Dalam post sblm ini ak pernah berikrar utk tidak akan terjerebak ke dlm budaya couple semasa masih bgelar mahasiswa prasiswazah gara2 menjaga AMANAH.

Namun sebenarnya tidak bbrp lama sblm menduduki peperiksaan semasa sem terakhir ak dah mula mengorak langkah bermain dgn emosi dan perasaan. Bukan niat utk mengingkari amanah yg tlh diberikan cuma perasaan syok tu dah terlalu kuat dan hati ini cukup yakin bhw ‘dia’lah CINTA
SEJATI. Sebenarnya bukan dengan mudahnya utk aku jatuh cinta… tapi bile perasaan itu dah ditahan dan dipendam buat satu jangka masa yg agak panjang (8 thn blh thn panjang jgk la kan). Maka bile saat dan peluang tu muncul xkan la
ak nak tunda perasaan ak tu 8 thn lg kot. Lagi pun ak ni jenis org yg yakin dgn suratan takdir…. dan aku percaya pertemuan semula setelah terpisah selama 7 thn ada maksudnya yg tersendiri…

Namun mungkin cuma Tuhan tahu ape yg lebih baik utk ku, benih yang ku semai tu gagal utk bercambah membentuk bunga mekar di TAMAN CINTAKU. Dan aku jugak x berusaha utk menyuburkan cinta yg sudah berputik itu atas dasar mengejar cita2 di perantauan. Cume ape yg boleh aku katakana statusnya kini adalah PENDING @ just wait and see….

Tak lama lepas ak berhijrah ke bumi kenyalang Sarawak, hati ini terusik lagi. Atas dasar tempoh kuarantin hatiku dah tamat dan ak dah bebas, so there’s no more hesitation. Gadis pertama di Sarawak yg ak minat, terus ak approach tanpa ragu2. Sekilas pandang memang aku dgnnya
mempunyai ciri2 couple yg ideal. We share a lot of things in common, we like d same colours, came from resemble family background, we work together and even have almost d same laptop model…. but there is just one thing that stopping me from giving my full commitment to her. The fact that im a muslim boy and she’s a catholic girl. And until the time comes when she is prepared to learn about Islam, and only then that i be willing to dedicate a part of my heart for her. Jadi
buat masa ini biarlah kami mengenal hati budi masing2 dan sekadar bergelar teman tapi mesra…. Maka buat kali keduanya hatiku masih berstatus PENDING @ in progress….

Mungkin ada diluar sane berpendapat ak ni terlalu memilih orgnya. “Ini x boleh, itu x boleh lah. Ala ape susah try
je la dulu”…. Ntahlah cume bagi aku CINTA adalah satu perkara yg x boleh diambil mudah dan dipandang enteng. Ak masih dgn konsep bercinta mestilah berlandaskan nilai2 dan juga norma2 yg aku pegang dan yg ak dukung. Sebenarnya x banyak yg aku minta dr pasanganku Cuma sekadar kesanganggupan utk bermadu, bukan 1, bukan 2 tetapi cukuplah sekadar 3! Tapi oppp bukan bermadu dgn 3 org gadis lain ttp bermadu dgn 1. Agamaku, 2. Familyku dan 3. Cita2ku. Jadi sehingga aku ketemu insan yg sanggup bermadu 3 ini, nampak gayanya aku akn maintain single and still searching =D

Dah lame agaknya sejak kali terakhir entry blog aku dipostkan dlm BM. Maka bg tidak kelihatan spt ak memencilkan bahasa ibunda sendiri, entry kali ini

akan
disampaikan sepenuhnya dalam BAHASA MALAYSIA/MELAYU. Kini genaplah satu semester ak bgelar  pelajar master di UNIMAS. Dan dlm tempoh masa tersebut sudah banyak pengalaman baru ak b’jaya kecapi. Bertemu rakan2 baru, menjelajah tempat baru dan juga belajar sedikit-sebanyak ttg budaya tempatan. Bcakap pasal budaya tempatan, baru2 ni ak bpeluang merasa kehidupan masyarakat Melayu Sarawak. Semuanya bermula apbl ak dipanggil oleh Kaunselor Unimas utk trt serta dalam program BAKTISISWA KEMAS-UNIMAS 2008 bertempat di Kg Melayu Bakong, Sri Aman.

Program selama satu minggu tersebut dimulakan dgn aktvt orientasi selama 2 hari di Unimas. Memandangkan komitmen yg tinggi terhadap kerja2 penyelidikkan, oleh di sebabkan itu ak x dpt menghadiri sepenuhnya orientasi tersebut. Tetapi apbl shj prog baktisiswa bermula pd 13hb tempoh hari ak tlh berjanji utk komited sepenuhnya kpd objektif dan misi prog t’sebut (kesan mindset yg tlh dilatih semasa giat dgn aktvt pelajar ketika d UKM ). Perjalanan ke Sri Aman memakan masa 3 jam dan utk masuk pula ke kpg angkat kami memakan masa lebih kurang 1 jam. Keadaan di sini jauh berbeza spt d semenanjung. Jika di tpt asal ku perjalanan dgn menaiki bas selama 4 jam blh meliputi jarak 300km ttp di sini jarak d antara Unimas dan Sri Aman lebih kurang 100km shj. Bukan di sebabkan pemandu bas disini terlalu berhati2 semasa memandu ttp semua angkara tiada kemudahan lebuhraya spt lebuhraya di semenanjung. Ditambah lg dengan hanya jalan berbatu dr bandar Sr Amn k kg tersebut.

Setibanya kontijen kami seramai 31 org di kg bakong, kami di sambut meriah oleh penduduk kpg. Siap dgn pakaian boria, bungga manggar dan juga paluankompang. Rasa spt raja sehari…. mcm YB pun ada juga. Seterusnya kami di arak ke tempat perasmian dimana Tn Residen sudah sedia menanti. Ingatkan majlis perasmian akn terus dimulakan, ttp sememangny masy disini melayan kami dgn layanan 1^st class. Kami dijamu terlebih dahulu dgn masakan org kpg sblm majlis perasmian bermula. Setelah selesai ucapan oleh semua VIP peserta dr Unimas di agihkan kpd keluarga angkat msg2. Ak dan rakan ku Hairee mendapat keluarga angkat yg sama iaitu keluarga En Abdillah. Apbl kami berdua d bw pulang ke rumah keluarga angkat, alangkah terkejutnya ak apbl mendapati keluarga angkat ku adalah dikalangan org yg berada di kg tersebut. Rumah keluarga angkat ku lengkap dgn segala kemudahan, sesuatu yg jauh drpd apa yg digembar-gemburkan kpd kami oleh
pihak KEMAS. (Mungkin ak bernasib baik ttp dlm semua prog anak angkat yg pernah ak sertai inilah yg plg mewah)

Dipendekkan cerita aktvt kami selama 6 hari disana di isi dgn kegiatan spt lawatan k rumah panjang, ceramah agama, bengkel akademik utk pelajar2 sekolah, gotong-royong, sukaneka, malam kebudayaan dan kenduri kampung. Dan pada 18hb akhirnya kami terpaksa mengucapkan selamat tinggal buat keluarga angkat di Kpg Melayu Bakong. Dengan liagan air mata (peserta lain la ak x tngkp leleh hua hua) pd pukul 10 pg bas pun berlalu membawa kami pulang k Unimas. Dan bg aku walaupun ini adalah kali ke 6 ak menyertai prog yg serupa (kini ak ad 5 family angkat: 2 di Kedah, 1 di Slgr, 1 di N9 dan tbaru di Swk), pengalaman kali ini jauh berbeza dgn pengalaman2 baktisiswa @ OPKIM yg lepas. Mungkin antr sebabnya adlh pd baktisiwa kali ini ak hanya mengenali sorang shj drpd 30 perserta yg lain. Jika dulu di UKM, baktisiswa yg aku join di sertai dan dikelolakan oleh sahabat2 sepersatuan ak jg. Maka lebih mudah utk bekerjasama kerna kami sudah sudah mengenali diri masing2. Namun begitu syukur di akhir prog, boleh ak katakan ak dah dpt 29 kwn baru. Disamping itu memandangkan peserta kali ini majoriti org swk, maka scr azalinya mereka bkomunikasi dlm dialek tempatan. Pd mulanya sering kali ak terpinga2 dgn ape yg mereka katakan…. tetapi kini ak dah boleh sedikit sebanyak KELAKA BAHASA SWK (hehe blh la sikit2 setakat kmk, ktk, madah, polah… tu je la, lebih2 sik blh lg). Juga seperkara lg adlh dulu di UKM prog2 spt ini dianjurkan sepenuhnya oleh mahasiswa maka segala gerak kerja dirancang dan dilaksanakan oleh kami sendiri. Ttp disini kami mahasiswa hanya dijemput sebagai peserta dan pengerak semasa on prog, segala idea dan cadangan dr pihak kami x dipedulikan sgt oleh pihak penganjur.

X lupa jg pengalaman berharga kefasilatatoran apbl ak kena jd KF utk bengkel akademik dan ahli panel adhock utk forum bsama ibu-bapa. Namun begitu apa yg lebih penting, ak sendiri dapat melihat dan merasa sedikit sebanyak kehidupan masyarakat di pendalaman. Jika di tpt2 lain kemudahan spt elektrik, air paip dan jln raya blh dikatakan sebagai kemudahan asas. Tetapi d sesetengah tpt disini benda2 tersebut blh dianggap sebagai kemewahan. Bayangkan anda terpaksa bangun seawal 5 pagi utk pegi mandi air gunung, belajar tanpa kemudahan elektrik dan d bwh chy lampu lilin di malam hari. Sukar utk percaya ada yg tpaksa menempuh kepayahan hidup sebegini walaupun negara sudah merdeka lebih dari 50 thn.  Dan bagi aku yg x merasa cabaran seumpama itu diharap dgn kedatangan ku dan rakan2 yg lain di bumi Bakong dpt sedikit sebanyak menyuntik semangat kepada masy disana khasnya pelajar2 sekolah utk memajukan diri.

What make you a SURVIVOR? My way of interpreted it, survivor means someone who have to withstand harsh conditions, outsourcing limited resources and at the end of the turmoil, able to accomplish its objectives and missions still standing on their own two feet. And i am made of survivor material…..CERTIFIED and PROVEN in REAL LIFE!

Yeah, it may sound cocky but actually we all are survivors… at least at the extend of one of our 2 chromosomes which came from the male sperms have to fight each other for the prestige of mating with the female ovule (Which means that the survival skills came from the male partner! Hehe just live with it girls). As for myself, life have sculptured me into a FIGTHER. Fighting with the surroundings for the rights to live the way i are.

The first real test of my survival skills came when i was 15. It happened when my family moved from KL to JB and i have to continue my studies in a new school.
When you registered into one of the three most violent secondary school in JB knowing no one except for yourself it resembled to how Michael Scofield (prison break) first enter prison… but thinking of it he’s in a better
condition than me cause he has his big bro with him hohoho. My survival skills really helped cause i never got into a real mess even though the fact that kids got beaten up almost every day in that school. And when i finished my studies there with straight As in the PMR exam you as might say ive also accomplished my mission such as how M. Scofield successfully get his big bro out of prison. (but he made a big mess along the way but as for myself there’s no such casualties. So im better than him HAR HAR HAR)

The first test turn up to be as a preparation camp for me cause the next year eventually i have to maximise my SURVIVAL knowledge and skills when i registered into a boarding school. And this time im totally all alone cause there are no more running back crying to papa and mama. Actually i can consider myself as a spoiled brat before i entered boarding school cause at home almost everything were done according to my liking….but it all came to a brute STOP in SAMURA. In the way of the SAMURAI’s school, i were disciplined, trained to take a beating and move on, and most of all polished my survival skills. Maybe because of this some of my batch mates (1st batch 2001) who can’t endure all the torturing from our seniors choose to run back to their’s MAMA and registered out of the school. Like it was all planned earlier, i was placed in the HELL’s dorm (Pujangga 4) where
the most
psycho seniors roam…. and im the sole survivor from my current batch when all 3 of the others juniors can only manage to hold their d**k for a few weeks… making me the only target for my seniors mocking for one whole month before the 2^nd batch came. In the end when i graduated from SAMURA, i got what i came for earlier: straight As in the SPM exam and the manhood to flatter with girlz =P… But one thing still isn’t settle (LIPAN, Pujeng 4 if u r reading this. U better b afraid cause if i got the chance to meet u, im going to KICK ur ASS d way u kicked mine minus the backing of all my friends not such as cowardly when u face me before)

The next REAL test came a few years later just 2 months before i turned 21…..  15^th December 2005 was a day that i was REBORN! The
biggest challenge i have to encountered so far was when, suddenly after i woke
up from a deep coma ive just realized that im not the same person as i am before. A week earlier ive just conquered Mount Ledang for the 3^rd
time, 2 other mountains before that, travel to a different state in a weekly basis and so many other personal accomplishments…. and when ive recovered from the coma i cant barely even stand up on my own 2 feet! Thoroughly the journey as a handicapped is a test physically and especially MENTALLY and EMOTIONLY . And it seem it was a lengthily test not just for a few days nor months but throughout my whole undergrad studies. First ive to complete my Practical Training barely 6 months after the accident. Then finishing 2 out of 3 of my remaining semesters with total strangers. And finally i graduated just last semester with a 2^nd class upper degree, successfully conquered Mount Ledang for the 4^th time and i am an officially certified UKM’s facilitator trainer…. i might say its a job well done as ive SURVIVED half of my studies as a handicapped.

That is why, just a month after I finished my undergrad studies ive chosen to
test my survival skills once again by doing my post grad studies in unfamiliar terrains. With so much disadvantage and so little priorities i held my face up high and go barging into UNIMAS. Out of 7000 people here i only knew 3 of them, and whom actually i know not that real close…. But im optimistic that ill accomplish my missions here. Based on my proven survival skills and of course with the help from God and a few pair of helping hands.

To certain people especially whom who just knew me and haven’t got the chance to learn about my background, i may seem as an arrogant and egoist type of person….YES its true, in a way i
admitted it. I do have that certain degree of arrogance and egoism… but those characteristics that helped me to get to where i am now. It motivates me to go further, push harder and set my dreams higher. It assisted me in accomplishing my target and goals without the hassle of having people stepped on me or manipulated me. So when people turns their back on me, it came naturally for me to act in a same way…. cause that’s how SURVIVED!
I do owe my gratitude to my families and close friends who hv helped me along
the way…. plus a little charm of good luck. But still i believe 90% of who you’ll turn up into are determent by yourself cause it have been stated in the Holy Quran that God won’t change the fate of a certain race if that race doesn’t want to change it’s ways.

In a few days, I will be 2 months old here in UNIMAS, and in general life here is GOOD… Currently things are running smoothly. But I can’t say that everything has turn out as I have planned earlier. There are a few hiccups and obstacles which are slowing me down…. something NORMAL in life and which I have been practically used to. One of those obstacles is my financial state here.

As coming here is pretty costly with the fact that my only guaranteed source of cash flow are from my PARENTS (something quite embarrassing for a 23 years old
adult such as myself). So securing a scholarship is a MUST and non-officially I have successfully done that. But as my scholar is provided by the Ministry of Science and Technology, its taking them quite some time to lay down the agreement… maybe one of the factors contributing to the delay is because of the just recently held general election and the UNEXPECTED results are costing them the EXPECTED delay (and the politician are talking about making government services more people friendly… yeah right!). This has resulting me in a TIGHT regime of financial budget = (

Not so troublesome issue is my current state of emotion…. It’s not I’m not happy here (cause there no REALLY bad things happening to me, yet). But I can’tdenied it can be pretty LONELY at certain times… maybe it just the post syndrome living in a new place, far away from my beloved family and friends (my alter EGO may denied it but yes I miss the people used to be around me back there when I was in UKM). I know it’s not a major problem but when im all alone, it’ll keep bugging me down deep in my shallow heart and spacious mind…And my new friends here are not quite talkative, extremely expressed, ambitious and over confident little NAPOLEONs as the people I used to mix with. Im not making a statement for my new friends or something like that but I need someone who are not afraid to speak their mind off, someone who I can discuss with on world related topics, future prospects for our country and simply about the weather, someone who can give me their honest opinion and argue with me in a creative and intellectual way… (Yeah maybe I should have consider doing my post grad studies in political science and not biotech =P) But when you have been trained to talk nonstop for 3 hours, it’s something like an addiction to speak my mind off… Thinking of it, actually maybe I need to be in control of my old habits. But im still searching for my kind of crowd or just haven’t got the opportunity to discover the unexplored talent of my new friends.

Back there in the peninsular, I have all the things needed for my post grad studiesREADY and set up for my comfort…. actually before I came here, I have alreadyreceive several offers to do my master’s degree in UKM as Graduate ResearchAssistant with secure monthly pay around RM1200. I also have a mass social connection where I know all the important people to get what I needed when I need it!  (sound like Michael Scofield from d prison break drama series eh?) Not forgetting all the friends and people who I know and knew me, the result from my 3 years of hyperactive student life… frankly speaking I fell secure and comfortable back there in UKM, putting me in
a much advantage position to pursue my studies over there….Yet I LEAVE all
that luxury and comfort behind and equipped with just my knowledge, experience, faith and also my alter EGO came here to unfamiliar terrain to GAIN new experience, knowledge, friendship and perhaps love… You as might say I got everything to LOSE or everything to GAIN here in Unimas! But I choose to pick
the latter in my way of looking at it. But that just one of the basic principles in life: to GAIN something, we must also willing to RISK something else. As for me to gain EVERY THING, I have to risk EVERY THING.eeRYTHING in exchange.

Its been quite some time since i last posted my blog with an English material…. and here in unimas the official language is English…. back there in UKM everything was in our national language…. so i need to polish up my English, especially orally. And my newest post will be fully in English.

Here in Kota Samarahan the weather is very unpredictable. It
can be a clear sunny day and a moment later it began to rain,  almost everyday… and when it does, its rained cats & dogs….. You’ll know the sky going to fall down when dark clouds begin to form up above…. then it’ll get darker like the sun is setting down…. the wind started to blow at such high speed that even
the curtain rail hv loosen its grip to the wall. It even made a weird howling sound, like the sound of dogs calling each other, HUUUWWW, HUUUUWWWW (something like that lorr) … soon the rain came after that, began with a light drizzle and then heavily that i cant even see the bridge apposite my room. And the rain will last up to an hour or so…

Because there is no roofing walking alley, an umbrella is a must thing to hv here in UNIMAS…. even for a MACHO men like me (at first i think its quite lame for a guy to use umbrella, but when i get drenched a few times, i changed my mind hehe). So it is a common sight here to see guys sticking to their umbrella…. but i still think we men shouldn’t use it on a sunny day just to protect our perfect smooth white skin (REAL men of course)…. And sometimes u can see people running for shelter if it suddenly rained… something very fun to watch up above from my apartment (sometime we also shout at them as an encouragement so they  run faster as in a race walaulaulau =P)

There also one incident when my room was drenched with rain after i forgot to close my room window before going to the lab… resulting in me cleaning my room all over again (i learn my lesson thought)…. But after quite sometime here and after observing the cloud formation pattern a couple of times, i think i can tell if its going to rain soon or not (pretty good la for a non weather broadcaster eh?) And i even started to like the common rain here., it surely make sleeping such more wonderful pastime activity hohoho =D

    Korang penah tengok x tgk drama b’siri DUNIA BARU yg ditayang kt TV3 tu… xpon layan versi filemnya yg baru je kuar 7hb yg lepas….
kalo dalam cite tu watak2 mcm OPIE, ADIF, TAJOL dan member2 dorang yg lain cube belaja meyesuaikan diri di alam kampus, begitulah jgk dgn aku yg baru bertandang ke dunia baru pascasiswazah di Universiti Malaysia Sarawak.

           Kini dah hampir sebulan aku b’gelar student master kt sini….
dan dlm tempoh mase t’sebut dah mcm2 pengalaman aku dapat. Antaranya insiden makan jalan tar, minum air tasik unimas dan ronda2 bdr kuching…. Tp sblm aku bcerita lbh lanjut pengalaman2 aku tu, aku akan perjelaskan persoalan yg banyak kali diaju’ pd aku setibanya aku di cn…. Ramai individu dicn berasa pelik kenapa ak ambil keputusan utk melanjut’ pelajaran di unimas sdg’ aku bkn org swk dan bukannya graduan undergrad dr unimas… Mungkin dorang berasa demikian krn pd mereka, kehidupan di sememnanjung lebih menarik dan mewah. Dan aku akn mengatakan pada mereka ak dtg menuntut ilmu di UNIMAS adlh bg mencabar diri aku… keluar dr zon selesa dan timba pengalaman baru disini…. dan sejarah hidup aku dah membuktikan bahawasanya aku akan menjadi lebih matang dgn stp cabaran dan kesukaran yg aku tempuhi…. dan utk aku berevolusi menjadi isan yang lebih lengkap… aku perlu tempuhi cabaran ini…

           Huhu dah terlbh membebel plak…. ok 1st pengalman menarik aku kt cn ak alami apbl aku berusia 4 hr disini…. Dlm perjalanan pulang selepas menunaikan solat jumaat bersama2 member yg aku br kenal… kami ditimpa malapetaka apbl motor yg kami tunggang terlibat dgn kemalangan…. xlah teruk sangat cume luke di bahagian siku dan buku lali je….tp hasil kemalangan tu mybb’ traffic jam yg agak panjang jgk dr kampus timur ke kampus barat…. ntah la aku pun x tahu nak ulas mcm mane…. tp kejadian xcident dah mcm m’hantui hidup ak… dan kemalangan tersebut adlh kemalangan ke 4 aku sepanjang bergelar mahasiswa…. cume alhamdulillah kali ni aku diberi hikmat disebalik kejadian tersebut mlm tu jgk. X mcm mase aku koma dulu 7 bln lps xcident br Allah swt br hikmah disebalik kemalangan tu pd aku…. Jadi nasihat aku pd member2 yg lain, sentiasa la berhati2 diatas jln raya wlpn anda cm pembonceng mtskl mcm aku br2 ni.

          2nd pengalamn menarik aku kt unimas adlh insiden ‘renang berirama’ di tasik unimas… utk pengetahuan korang Unimas dilimpahi dgn berbilang tasik…. yg kecik, sederhana dan bapak besar…. kerana
x tahan dgn panggilan mendayu2 tasik yg m’hadap bilik aku, pd mgg ke 2 ak kt sini aku dah melabuhkan kayak di atas tasik unimas…. Sbnrnya aku x kenal sape2 pun kt tpt main kayak tu, tp disebabkan nafsu nak mendayung sampan dh naik, aku pun pg je terjah sorang2 ke sana. Nasb baik la ade sorang member ni sudi mendayung kayak dgn aku…. die melabelkan dirinya sebagai org yg mahir dgn medium pengangkutan t’sebut…. wlpn aku ade pengalamn beberapa kali mengemudi kayak semasa di UKM tp aku bg member br aku tu utk menjadi ‘driver utama’ kayak tsebut dgn die duduk dibhgn belakang dan aku dbhgn dpn (pengendalian kayak dilakukan lebih banyak oleh org dibhgn blkng)…. Baru beberapa minit kt org kt ats tasik tu tb2 kayak kt org t’balik… so tpaksa la ktorg berenang2 mcm anak kure2 m’cr ibunya… mungkin sbb xda chemistry lg antara kami berdua mgkn mybbkan kayak tersebut tblk…. lg satu faktor yg menyumbang kpd insiden t’sebut mungkin sbb ni kali pertama aku menggunakan kayak yg diperbuat dr fibre glass…. mmg bapak ringan dan laju meluncur diatas air tp agak sukar utk mengawal kestabilan kayak tersebut berbanding kayak biasa yg aku penah naik. Dan sblm kami mendarat, sekali lg kayak kami terbalik…. tp mungkin agaknya kali ni akibat perasaan riak apbl kt org racing dgn kayak awekz disblh ktorg (hehe pdn muke ktrog sape suruh takbur sgt =P)….semasa berenang2 tu jugak la spek mate aku yg lupe utk ditanggalkan sblm menerjah di atas tasik tenggelam ke dasar… hehe tp dgn pengorbanan tersebut aku dpt kenal 2 org awekz kayak….bak kate pepatah u gave what u get back.

          X dilupakan jg aku mencecah umur 23 thn sewaktu diunimas (7hb Feb yg lepas)… sbb hr keputeraan aku diumum’ sebagai cuti umum oleh kerajaan malaysia… so aku tpaksa sambut ngan member2 master aku sehari lbh awl. Xda la sambutan besar2an mcm kt UKM dulu….Aku dan 5 org member aku pg lunch same2 dan aku jamu dorang mkn blue berry kek. (Hmm umuq dh 23, bl la nak kawen ye???) Dah keesokannya pd 7hb aku meraikan besday aku dgn sekali lagj bermain kayak… tp kali ni aku pastikan spek mate baruaku dah diikat ketat2 dikepala agar x karam lg mcm sblm ni. Kali ni xde insiden kayak t’balik lg cume kayak yg kt org kemudi asyik pusing 360 je… ntah la mungkin kayak tu alingmentnye dah x btl agaknya…. dan agak malang bg aku pd mlm tu aku ketahui bhw tgn kann aku dah mencapai kemuncak pretasinya…. Akibat tangan kanan yg pernah injured dl ketika xcident so ia x setangkas dan sekuat tgn kiri aku…. mlm tu aku tpaksa merana dgn kesakitan berdenyut2 yg menimpa tgn aku tu…. alhamdulillah bl aku bgn mase subuh kesakitan tu dah kurang…. mungkin Tuhan nak memperingatkan aku bahawa kedatangan aku disini adlh utk menimba ILMU dan niat2 lain perlu dianjak kebelakang.

     Huh dah banyak dah aku tulis ni… ok last but not least, last weekend aku ngan member2 aku pg ronda bandar kuching. 1st tpt yg
kt org tuju adalah pasar SATOK… org ckp kalo dtg kuching x pg psr satok maksudnya anda x abis pusing lg kuching…. Pasar satok ni mcm Petaling Street digabungkan dgn pasar tani kt semenanjung tu. Mcm2 benda ade dijual, spt pakaian buatan siam/indon, gambir swk 100%, barang basah dan x dilupakan jgk gam kasut. Lps raound semua gerai2 kt situ kt org pg plak restoran chicken hart yg menghidangkan menu
buffet berasaskan ayam…. Dgn bayaran Rm15 (x termasuk gov tax) anda boleh makan semahu anda dlm mase 2 jam. Kt org lpk kt situ kire-kire 1 jam setengah dan bile dah x boleh nak mkn lg kt org beredar k destinasi yg seterusny iaitu  D SPRING… sbuah shopping complex yg br di buka kt kuching…. kalo nak dibandingkan dgn shopping mall kt KL blh kate d spring ni mcm KLCC la sbb kedai2 dlm tu semuanya jual barangan berjenama mahal2… sbb kt org xde fulus so kt org cuci mate je la tgk barang2 yg dipamerkan. Kire2 3 ptg kt org pun beredar utk kembali ke unimas…

       So setakat itu jela pengalaman aku sepanjang 3 minggu aku dah berada di UNIMAS… selain pengalaman2 br yg aku dpt timba, aku jgk dpt ramai kenalan br… kalo sblm ni member2 aku kebanyak’nya dr kaum aku je ttp kini member2 br aku t’dr dr pelbagai suku dan sakat… melanau, iban, dayak, cina, dan x dilupakan jg melayu…. Ni br 1/48 jangka mase yg dianggarkan aku kt sini… hopefully baki lg 47 tu semuanya best2 belake =D

    

Secara umumnya setiap daripada kita adalah istimewa… ni sbb pd aku istimewa adlh  sesuatu yg ade pada kita yg tiada pd insan2 lain… @ name lainnye UNIK… dan setiap manusia tu dicipta dengan keunikannya t’sendiri.

    Ttp ISTIMEWA yg ak maksudkan dlm tajuk post  kali ni adlh benda yg berbeza. Keistimewaan ni xlah unik pada ak je tp juga ‘dianugerahkan’ juga pd segelintir insan2 lain yg tlh dipilih oleh Tuhan.  Apa yg kami ade yg tiada pd kebanyakkan yg lain tlh myebabkan kami
dinobat’ sebagai orang istimewa a.k.a Orang Kurang Upaya…. dan hr ni secara rasminya ak jg tgolong dlm kumpl ini apbl permohonan sebagai O.K.U ak diterima dan diberi kad O.K.U oleh jbtn kebajik’ masys….

    Mungkin ramai yg tertanya2 ape jenis kecacatan yg aku alami yg melayak’ ak utk digelar ‘istimewa’ . Sekali imbas mmg ak kelihatan normal spt kebanyak’ yg lain ttp jika diperhalusi anda akn dpt lihat bhw ak  m’alami kecacatan fizikal yg sederhana… yg mane tgn knn ak x dpt dilurus’ dan dibengkok’ sepenuhnya (kire 45 darjah hingga 100 darjah shj kemampuan ak)… semuany gara2 ak t’tido ketika memandu 2 thn yg lps… ttp ak cukup bsyukur sbb msh dbr nikmat akal & nyawa.

    Jika dianalisa keadaan ak ad jgk yg b’pendapat bhw ak x seharusnya digelar istimewa sbb kecacatan yg ak alami xlah sekritikal mane. Ya ak akui mmg kecacatan yg ak alami sekarang x la sampai di tahap ianya menyebab’
ak tpaksa hidup dgn alat bantuan @  perlu’ bantuan org lain utk m’buat kerja2 asas. Malah dlm keadaan ak sekarang ak msh blh m’yertai aktiviti lasak spt panjat gng, b’kayak, main bola keranjang, bola tampar dll.   Ttp ak jugak x blh nak nafi’ bhw keupayaan ak dah t’batas jika dibanding’ dgn individu normal…. antarany tgn knn ak x mampu lg utk myuap makanan k mulut,  x  mampu m’butang  kolar baju, x dpt lg nak wat pumping…dan baru j tadi ak sedar satu lagi perkara yg dulu ak blh wat ttp skrg dh x dpt nak wat iaitu menderma darah. Sbb tangan knn ak cacat jd darah x blh diambil dr tgn tu dan tgn kiri ak pulak kedudukan salur darah t’lalu dkt dgn otot maka susah nak masuk’ tiub b’jarum k tgn t’sebut.

        Ttp jika nak b’ckp psl kekurangan pasti setiap drpd kite blh m’ungkit kekurangan diri… dan mungkin tindak’ aku ni mybb’ ade yg m’buat andaian bhw ak ni lemah @ x blh nak b’dikari…. dulu pun ak pikir mcm tu sbb tu lps 1stgh thn lps ak eksiden br ak apply. Ttp mmg realitinya ak dah x mcm dulu…mmg kini ak cacat (Doktor yg kate mcm tu) jadi ape yg aku lakukan ni adalah perkara yg wajar iaitu menerima kenyataan…. dan jika ada yg memandang serong kalo ak m’dpt kelebihan yg diperuntu’ utk geng2 istimewa ni…satu je la ak nak ckp: LANTAK korang la, pada ak apa yg ak wat ni sekadar menuntut HAK aku. Jika rakyat jelata yg normal pun menuntut hak mereka t’hadap kerajaan (sekolah p’cuma, subsidi minyak ditambah dll) maka golongan mcm aku jugak ade hak t’hadap masyarakat disekitar kami. Dan bak kate pepatah perit mate yg memandang, perit lg bahu yg memikul…. segala cabaran dr segi fizikal, mental dan juga emosi yg kami t’pasksa hadapi cuma golongan seperti kami je yg tahu… wlpn ak xlah sampai perlu b’kerusi roda ttp ak
dah rase mcm mane jika Tuhan m’ambil semula nikmat yg dipinjam’ tu… dan x dilupa’ jgk mcm satu p’baziran j kalo parking2 khas kt shopping kompleks dan pjbt krjn dibiar’ kosong j ye x? hehehe jgn jelous =P

    

    

Sebelum ak b’cerita lbh lanjut, ak tegaskan disini kisah ak ni xda sangkut-paut dgn cite kehidupan seorg pramugara yg t’lampau @pun kejadian yg menimpa bekas menteri kesihatan kite baru2 ni. Namun begitu cite ak ni  bknlah rekaan semata2 ttp b’dasarkan kisah benar yg tlh ak alami sendr….

    
              TERLAMPAU yg ak maksud’ disini adlh t’lampau aktif b’persatuan…. hehe bg mereka yg m’hrp’ t’lampau dlm erti kate lain mungkin berasa agak kecewa. Dcn ak nak kongsi b’sama p’galaman 3 stgh thn aku d UKM…. p’galaman ak d menara gading mungkin agak b’beza dr kehidupan mahasiswa lain yg maseny di isi dgn aktvt harian pg k kuliah, library, makmal dan melepak j di blk  saban hr.  Paling2 koman pn keluar lpk kt mapley pd sblh mlmny dan wak2 hjg mgg  pg trn bandar utk bdating @ jln2. Utk ak plk, hampir setengah dr mase satu hr ak di isi dgn meluangkn mase d blk p’satuan… utk buat keja2 program yg dirancang atau saje ddk melepak dgn member2 yg senafsu dgn ak (nafsu dgn erti kate aktvt b’persatuan)  dan pd hjg mingg je kami akn pg menjalan’ prog yg dh dirancang x kire la di dlm @pn luar UKM.

        Dan hasilnya melalui aktvt persatuan yg aku ikut, ak bjaye pg melawat semua negeri kt Malaysia t’masuk Sabah & Srwk dlm mase 3 setengah thn. Ak jg tlh bjaya menawan 3 puncak gunung t’masuk G. Kinabalu, m’punyai 4 famili angkat serta b’puluh sijil sebagai peserta, urusetia, fasilatator dan juga jurulatih. Ttp kejayaan yg cukup b’makna buat ak adlh bjaye m’langsaikan separuh pengajian ak sebagai insan ‘istimewa’ (o.k.u)… Dan dgn kehidupan yg t’lampau & istimewa t’sebut ak masih mampu menamat’ pengajian dgn gred 2nd class upper.

         Mungkin bg setengah2 mahasiswa @ graduan lain benda yg ak alami ni biase je. Tp bg aku ia merupakan satu prestasi individu yg ckp m’beransangkan memandang’ time ak kt sekolah dl ak antr glgn yg digelar sebagai ‘nerd’ yakni hanya b’tumpu pd akedemik dan juga kurang b’sosial… x dilupakan jg ak m’punyai mslh berat bdn ketika mase tu (skrg? ok la kot blh turun naik gng 6x). Ade jg yg m’pertikai’ keputusan ak utk t’lampau aktif dlm pesatuan lg2 lps ak bgelar insan istimewa. Tp stlh bjaye bgelar graduan,  ak yakin ak dh bt kptsn yg bijak kerna selain ak dpt segulung ijazah.  Selain tu jgk ak dpt meraih pelbagai kemahiran dan ilmu2 yg x blh dpt kt dwn kuliah…. antrny kemahiran soft skill yg  kureng pd kbykn graduan IPTA awam , pengendalian mental , emosi dan rohani yg lebih jitu dan x dilupakan segala skill outdoor yg ak bjaye d timba ketika meredah hutan, sungai, tasik & gunung.   

        Jadi kesimpulanya dgn kehidupan aku yg TERLAMPAU aktif ni ak dh bjaya m’cungkil potensi diri ak yg mungkin ak sendiri pun x pernah perasan sblm ni. Ak b’syukur sbb kehidupan di Universiti ak cukup menarik dan penuh dgn p’galaman yg dpt m’perlengkapkan ak bukan sahaja dr segi akademik  ttp jg ilmu2 lain serta nilai2 yg dapat m’perlengkapkan ak sebagai  MANUSIA. Dan kehidupan mahasiswa yg
TERLAMPAU ini x tmt dcn sbb ak kini bgelar mahasiswa siswazah di Universiti Malaysia Sarawak.

          Tanggal 4 Januari 2008 menjadi satu detik bersejarah buat keluargaku…. Sblm aku b’cerita lbh lanjut ade baiknya aku perkenalkan  ahli keluarga aku t’lbh dhl.
Utk pengetahuan semua pembaca keluarga ak t’dr drpd 7 org semuanya. Dengan seorg ayah bgelar Mat Hussin & ibuku b’nama Norimah… seterusny kak long Mardiyah, abg ngah Muhd Zubair, diikuti aku Muhd Suhaib dan dua adikku Muneera
dan Muhd Salman…. akulah yg plg b’untg ade kakak, abg, adk perempuan & adk lelaki. Mungkin sbb tulah jgk ak yg plg NAKAL ant kami 5 beradik…..

         

          Begitulah serba ringkas perkenalan ttg keluarga Mat Hussin. Ok berbalik kpd tjk post aku kali ni. Pd 4hb jan yg lps kakak aku dan keluarganya tlh berangkat pergi  ke Jerman (land of d merc, BMW & other magnificent car makers) bg menemani suaminya yg melanjutkn pelajaran ke Peringkat Habis Darjah, PHD disane. Mereka jg m’bw bersama2 kedua2 anak teruna mereka Mujahid, 4 thn & Mukhlis, 9 bln…. x dilupakan jg 3 beg XXL dan 2 kotak b’isi diaper, mainan mujahid dan brg2 bayi yg lain (Kalo salah sorry ye kak).

         Bg m’iringi mereka sekeluarga yg dijadualkan blepas pd pkl 11.50 mlm,  kami ahli keluarga yg lain yg msh ade di Mlys tlh tiba seawal 8 mlm di KLIA. B’sandar’ motto ayh ku ‘Biar Awal Janji SelamaT’, kami sekeluarga tiba lbh awl dr keluarga
kakak ku dan mertuanya. Kira2 pkl 9 mlm pasangan yg dinantikan tiba bersama 2 jejaka chomel lote sebagai pengapit. Masa sblm penerbangan diisi dgn aktvt2 bfaedah spt m’bungkus semula brgn yg mereka bw akbt beg t’lbh muatan, sesi bermanje dgn anak buah serta tips2 bagaimana utk hidup dibumi asing drpd parentku yg jg m’punyai pengalaman menjage kami 3 beradik terawal di perantauan…. apsl ak x ingat ak penah pg Australia??? (sbb wak2 tu ak bayi lg haw haw haw)

        Beberapa minit sblm  keluarga kak mar masuk k balai berlepas,  suasana hiba  x dpt dielakkan lg.  Air mata mula  berliangan  dan mengalir basah  mbasahi pipi      (ttp kami adik-b’adik lelaki ttp maintain cool mcm bapaknya)…cuma mujahid yg ttp
dgn mode cerianya, mungkin sbb die t’lalu mentah utk m’getahui perkara sbnr bhw slps ini dia tpaksa bpisah bt sementara wak2 dgn kami yg x penah jemu melayan 1001 latah dan ragamnya…. munkn bl die kembali k mlysia nnt die sdh lp pd kami….moga2 tidaklah. Selesai menghantar mereka kami sekeluarga pn pulang kembali k bangi, tempat kami akn bmlm sblm plg kembali ke jb keesokkan pgnya.

         Sebenarnya ini bukanlah kali pertama keluarga kami kehilangan salah seorg anggotanya bt sementara wak2. Sblm ni kire2 1 stgh thn yg lps adikku Muneera jg menempuh keadaan yg sama apbl tpaksa bpisah dgn kami disbbkn mengejar cita2nya di Jordan. Cm bezanya die pg kesana ditemani rakan2 sebidang dgnnya
manakala kakak ku pg bsama2 keluargany. Walaupun mereka pg utk bbrp thn shj ttp ketiadaan mereka ttp terasa, t’utamanya ketika perayaan dan majlis keraian keluarga kami…. Mungkin slps ni adik-beradik kami yg lain jua bakal mengikuti jejak langkah mereka. Namun begitu walau ape pun yg bkl t’jadi pd ms hadapan, aku doakan keluarga kami tetap bahagia dan utuh sebagai suatu entiti yg melebarkan sayapnya ke setiap ceruk dunia….amin.    

         

Cinta sebuah nikmat yg maha Esa anugerahkan hanya kepada mahluknya bergelar manusia. Kerana cinta nenek moyang kita Adam dan Hawa sanggup meredah hutan, gunung & lautan utk bertemu semula di padang Arafah. Kerana cinta jugalah anak mereka Qabil sanggup membunuh saudaranya sendiri Habil. Sungguh luar biasa dan aneh sekali kuasa CINTA sesama manusia ini….justeru itu pada awal lagi aku ingin mengingatkan semua bahawa aku bukanlah seorang yang pakar dalam bidang cinta namun begitu aku akn cb mengupas topik ini berdasarkan persepsi, pengalaman dan juga pemerhatian yg aku lakukan selama ini.

Mungkin ada yang tertanya2 mengapa secara tiba2 aku ingin berbicara soal cinta. Biasalah bak kata pepatah mahukan pokok bgoyang jika angin x b’tiup…. Sebenarnya sudah sekian lama ak ingin membincangkan mengenai bab cinta ini, cuma keazaman utk aku menulis mengenainya tidak btl2 kuat sehinggalah baru2 ini bila ada individu di sekitar aku yg btanya mengenai hal AKU & CINTA. Tidak dinafikan aku jg seperti manusia yg lain trt m’punyai perasaan utk menyintai dan dicintai ttp mungkin tidak seperti kebanyakan mereka yg seusia dgn aku, aku memilih utk bercinta berdasarkan prinsip dan pegangan hidup aku sendiri.

Apa yg aku maksudkan disini adalah kaedah aku bercinta mestilah berlandaskan nilai2 dan juga norma2 yg aku pegang dan yg ak dukung selama ini. Utk ak cinta yg suci itu seharusnya timbul dlm hati ini secara sendirinya, tanpa paksaan mahupun godaan. Ak menyintai seseorang krn ak btl2 cintakannya, bukan krn t’ikut2 fesyen dan gaya terkini yakni golongan muda semestinya hidup berpasang-pasangan seperti belangkas. Dan cinta itu seharusnya mempunyai hala tuju dan matlamat yang kukuh dan ckp kuat, bukan sekadar atas alasan suka2 mahupun cuba2. Disamping itu cinta aku kepada pasanganku tidak akan sesekali mengatasi cinta aku t’hdp yg maha Esa dan juga kedua ibu bapaku.

Hehehe dah mcm calon pilihan raya m’bacakn manifestony pulak. Tp utk mengecapi nikmat dan kelebihan Cinta yg tulen dan sejati seharusnya kita turuti kepada sekatan dan kawalan yg tlh ditetapkan oleh Kuasa
yg tlh menganugerahkan cinta kepada kita. Mcm di atas jln raya jugalah, segala peraturan dan undang2 itu diadakan bagi menjamin keselamatan kita di atas jalan raya, jika kita melanggarnya padah akibatnya. Begitulah juga dengan soal cinta
spt petikan yg aku ambil dari buku Tentang Cinta karangan Pahrol Mohd Juoi ‘Orang yg b’jaya m’gawal nafsunya akn dikalungkan dengan mahkota cinta suci. Tetapi orang yg tewas hanya m’dpt cinta murahan dan nikmat sementara yang tetap akn dipersoal Allah s.w.t di akhirat kelak’.

Tetapi agak hiprokrit jika aku mengatakan ak mengawal nafsu cintaku selama ini kerana btl2 mengikut kepada hukum syariat krn ak merasakan iman di dada ini belum cukup tebal utk ak menepis segala dugaan dan cubaan yg datang mengoda. Alasan sebenar aku maintain ‘single’ ke hari ini adalah aku menyintai seseorang lebih daripada perasaan cintaku kepada gadis2 yg ada di luar sana. Individu tersebut tidak lain dan tidak bukan adalah org yg tlh melahirkan aku ke dunia yg fana ini. Mungkin ada yg pelik dgn alasan yg ak berikan krn org lain yg bercinta di luar sana juga semuanya ada ibu jg seperti ak. Ttp mungkin ibuku yg berbeza dgn ibu2 yg lain krn dr awal lg ibuku sdh melarang ak drpd b’cinta ketika sedang belajar. Oleh atas alasan ingin menunaikan amanah yg tlh ibuku berikan itulah, ak tangguh dulu bicara cinta dalam kehidupan ku di kampus. Biarlah ada yg diluar sana mengatakan aku kolot dan jg lurus bendul krn turuti shj arahan ibuku. Ttp bg diriku pengorbanan yg ak lakukan langsung tidak setanding dgn pengorbanan ibuku yg bertaruh nyawa dlm usahanya utk melahirkan aku ke dunia, itu blm dibandingkan dengan segala pengorbanan lain ibuku terhadap diri ini. Kerana aku yakin dan percaya apa shj
yg ibuku lakukan adalah utk kebaikan diriku juga akhirnya.

Jika aku sentuh sedikit pengalaman ku dalam arena cinta ini boleh dikatakan ak ni masih di tahap amateur lg kerana masih blm pernah aku berusaha untuk terjerumus ke alam cinta. Mungkin sekadar minat2 dan cinta monyet di zaman sekolah dulu ada la, tp sekadar itu sajalah. Dan bila aku melanjutkan pelajaran ke dunia menara gading yg bebas dari belengu kawalan dan pemerhatian ibu bapa, aku disajikan dgn budaya ‘couple’ yg melanda mahasiswa/i pada peringkat yg begitu tinggi sekali sehingga seperti sudah menjadi suatu kemestian setiap mahasiswa/i harus ada pasanganya sendiri. Tetapi daripada apa yg aku tuntut selama ini apa yg dilakukan oleh golongan majorit tidak semestinya Benar. Mungkin faktor yg banyak mbantu aku dlm menjalankan misi yg tlh diberikan oleh ibunda ku adalah ak seorang yg sgt aktif b’pesatuan ketika di universiti. Aktiviti2 tersebut tlh byk membantu mengalihkan minda dan hatiku daripada memikirkan tentang cinta. Ttp semenjak dua menjak ini, di akhir pengajian aku mula merasa tekanan utk bercinta. Mungkin kerana rakan2 yg selalu bersamaku satu persatu mula menukarkan status friendster mereka drpd ‘single’ kpd ‘in relationship @pn
married???!!!’ Lebih2 lagi bila individu2 yg aku sanjung seunik diriku yg dulu memimpin diriku dan rakan2 yg lain dlm usaha menegah saudara semuslim drpd berdua2an lain jantina ketika di matrikulasi dan juga bila geng2 budak masjid yg lain turut menceburkan diri dalam budaya couple yg dulu mereka pernah enggan terima. Sehinggakan pernah sekali rakan berlainan jantina menasihatkan aku agar cuba utk bercinta. Mungkin niatnya baik agar ak jg dpt merasa keindahan cinta spt diriny ttp ak jg x pernah lupa pahit dan tragis yg dtg b’sama cinta murahan yg ak perhatikan selama ini. Kadang-kala aku rasakan diri ini t’asing kerna melwn arus budaya ttp sehingga hr ini aku msh ttp yakin tanpa prejudis dgn prinsip yg aku pegang selama ini. Tragedi 15 Disember 2005 juga tlh mengingatkan semula diriku bahawasanya apa dan siapa yg benar2 penting dlm hidupku.

Pernah aku berikan metafora persepsiku terhadap cinta
kepada salah seorang rakan rapatku. Mungkin dia mengerti atau tidak, Tuhan saja yg tahu. Aku mengibaratkan cintaku seperti sebuah taman. Di taman tersebut sudah wujud sebuah pohon yg besar, tempat dimana aku berteduh drpd panas mentari dan hujan. Drpd pokok itu jugalah telah membekalkan aku dengan buah sebagai sumber makanan. Dan kadang-kala jatuh benih asing ke dalam tamanku. Jika aku semai dan menjaganya, bercambahlah ia menjadi sekuntum bunga yg harumnya menyerikan tmn itu. Tetapi jika aku ingin melihat benih itu tumbuh aku tpaksa menebang pohon besar yg ada di tmn itu kerna rimbunanya menghalang sinar
mentari drpd menyinari benih tersebut. Ttp jika aku berbuat sedemikian maka Zalimlah diriku ini krn sanggup menebang pohon yg tlh byk b’jasa kpd ku demi sekadar melihat sekuntum bunga yg cantik di tmn itu. Maka buat masa ini lebih baik aku biarkan sehinggalah sampai masanya dahan pohon besar itu beralih
sendiri akibat di tiup angin dan membenarkan sinar mentari menerangi benih asing yg singgah di Tamanku. Dan aku yakin masa itu akan sampai tidak lama lagi. Ak rasa ramai di luar sana faham dgn konsep metafora yg aku cb ketengahkan disini. Bagi mereka yg masih kabur biar aku perjelaskan, pohon besar itu aku ibaratkn sbg ibuku dn benih asing itu sbg gadis2 yg pernah menyentuh hatiku. Jika dilihat dari aspek yg positif apa yg aku lakukan ini tlh sedikit sebanyak melatih diri ini agar menjati Sang Pecinta yg Sejati krn jika aku setia kpd ibuku, aku pasti aku akan setia kpd pasanganku nnt, jika aku ikhlas dan amanah t’hdp ibuku akn ak lakukan perkara yg sama apbl sampai masanya ak b’cinta nnt. Akhir kata setiap drpd kita mempunyai pandangan dan cara kita masing2, ak x pernah mengatakan cara aku ini benar dan yg lain salah. Cuma yg penting biarlah kita melakukan sesuatu itu dgn hati yg ikhlas dan niat yg betul, insyaallah.

PS: Kontrak perjanjian aku dan ibuku akan tamat tidak lama lagi apbl ak menamatkan sesi pengajian semester ini dan ak x bcdg utk m’yambung semula kontrak t’sebut jika melanjutkan pengajian sebagai siswazah. Maka bersabarlah buat seketika lg gadis2 di luar sana kerna Sang Pecinta ini akan BEBAS x lama lg hehehe =P

Seperti insan2 lain di Malaysia. Aku juga pulang ke kampung bagi meraikan Hari Raya Aidilfitri bersama kaum keluarga & sahabat handai. Bagi ekspedisi turun ke selatan kali ini aku ditemani oleh teman2 UPSM : saudara Farhan sebagai co-pilot, saudari Suhaila sebagai pramugari 1 dan saudari Rahmah sebagai pramugari 2.

Bagi m’bw mereka semua merentasi 4 negeri (s’gor.n9,mlk,jhr) khidmat kapten Suhaib yg mpunyai lesen D & B2 yg sah serta diperlengkapkan dgn pengalaman koma selama 4 hari akbt accident tlh dipanggil. Dan beliau  akan memandu jenteranya ‘Buchuk 9200′.

Jika program Angkasawan negara mengambil  masa bthn2 dalam persediaan mhantar rakyat M’sia yg pertama ke angkasa lps. Persediaan misi Balik Kampung ini hanya memerlukan masa satu hari yang melibatkan proses meyelenggarakan  kenderaan dan tidak lupa jg segala persiapan buat diri pilot. Bagi menjamin keselamatan krew Buchuk 9200 dan tragedi 15 Disember 05 x b’ulang kembali, ak tlh memastikan diri ini mendapat rehat yg secukupnya dgn tido seawal 11 mlm dan menambah daya tahan dari tlelap dgn meminum ali cafe power root sms bsahur. Pjalanan kami bermula seawal 7.30 pg stlh selesai ak m’ambil ahli krew yg lain. Dengan berlatarkan lagu raya yg dimainkan ats permintaan ramai, kami keluar dari tol Bangi dan terus menghala ke destinasi kami dgn perasaan riang-gumbira. Perjalanan kami sejauh kira2 300km  tlh diisi dengan aktiviti diskusi ilmu ttg isu2 sms, rahsia kebahagian rumah tangga dan jg gosip2 panas melibatkan artis serta insan2 di sekitar kami. X lupa jg sesi karaoke duet pilot dan co-pilot. Tapi ap yg lbh ptg aktvt2 tsebut dpt mbantu myegarkan dan mbuat pilot trs fokus di atas jln raya. 

Sepanjang perjalanan, ak sentiasa diingatkan utk memandu dgn berhemah & etika dgn kejadian kemalangan di kiri dan kanan jalan. Seingat ak ade satu kejadian lori tbalik menuju ke utara & satu lori tbakar menuju k sltn. Ak jg bkesempatan utk melihat bbrp kereta eksotik yg jarang dpt ak lihat spt BMW M3 tbaru, Mazda RX 8, Mitshibutshi Lancer tbaru, dan juga Subaru WRX. Setelah memandu selama 2 stgh jam ak m’ambil keputusan utk berhenti berehat di hentian sblh Pagoh. Setelah berhenti lebih kurang selama 15 minit kami meneruskan semula perjalanan kami pulang ke kampung. Tapi sblm itu kami singgah dulu di Ayer Hitam, yg tkenal dgn barang2 berasaskan tanah liat dan juga pusat makanan ringan (krepek & jajan) di sltn. Sampai je di pasar mjual krepek, ak kelabu mate melihat segala jenis krepek dan kuih yg dijual, sebut je krepek ape ubi, pisang, keladi, & mcm2 lagi semua ade kt cn. Selesai mbeli dgn ala kadar kami pn trs menuju ke lebuhraya utk meneruskan pjlnn k jb. Tepat pkl 12.15 tgh hr kami  pn sampai di rmh Suhaila yg tltk di Senai. Di sana ibundanya sudah sedia menanti ketibaan puteri bongsunya.  Setelah selesai menurunkan penumpang yg pertama ak terus menekan pedal minyak mbw kami menuju ke destinasi yg seterusnya yakni stese bas Larkin. Setibanya kami di Skudai, kami telah di sambut dengan hujan yg mbuatkan jalan pengguna jln raya memandu scr pelahan. Kami tiba di stesen Larkin kira stgh jam kemudian. Disitu kami mengucapkan slmt tinggal kpd Rahmah yg akan menaiki bas utk plg ke kampungnya yg tletak di daerah Kota Tinggi. Kini cm tgl ak dan Farhan, maka kami berdua pn tanpa mbuang masa pergi menuju ke destinasi terakhir kami iaitu Tmn Universiti. Kami sampai di rumah Farhan kira2 pkl 1 suku ptg dlm keadaan hujan sedang turun dgn lebat. Atas alasan bpuasa ak menolak pelawaan utk singgah lbh lama di rumahnya dan setelah selesai memunggah barang2 beliau. Ak trs membawa diri ke tempat yg tlh lama2 ku kenangkan sepanjang bln ramadhan x lain & x bukan rumah keluargaku. Ak sampai di rumah tepat pukul 1.30 ptg dan ketibaan ku disambut oleh ibuku yg tercinta. Alhamdulillah setelah merantau sejauh 300km selama 6 jam ak kini telah sampai ke kampung halaman dengan selamat.

  Assamualaikum wbth. Setelah setahun menanti kini Ramadhan menjelma lagi, bulan yang sinonim dengan bulan bonus ini juga sering dikaitkan dengan makan. Dalam edisi kali ini ingin penulis ungkaikan erti Ramadhan buat diri penulis dan penghayataan bulan terbaik dalam kalendar islam ini oleh muslim muslimat generasi kini.

Mungkin ramai yang bertanya mengapa penulis mengaitkan bulan Ramadhan dengan bonus yang selalunya disebut2 di kala penghujung setiap tahun. Tapi apa yang penulis maksudkan bukanlah bonus dalam erti ganjaran wang yang dinikmati para pekerja, bagi penulis bonus disini adalah ganjaran pahala berlipat-lipat kali ganda bagi setiap ibadah dan perbuatan baik yang kita kerjakan di bulan yang mulia ini. Bagi mereka yang menafsir dengan akal dan iman sudah pasti tidak akan melepaskan peluang yang datang setahun sekali ini untuk menambah stok akhirat mereka dengan memperbanyakan amal ibadah dan jariah. Mungkin juga peluang yang tiba kepada mereka yang cukup bertuah untuk merasai kehadiran bulan ramadhan ini boleh diumpakan dengan skim cepat kaya akhirat dimana jika anda melabur dalam skim ini pulangan yang sangat lumayan boleh dituntut di akhirat kelak. Jauh daripada skim cepat kaya duniawi yang sering kita dengari saban hari, skim ini bebas daripada janji2 palsu dan tipu helah dan ganjaran yang sangat memuaskan adalah 100% guaranteed. Tidak lupa juga dalam pakej ramadhan ini juga disertakan sekali dengan acara cabutan bertuah iaitu sesiapa yang bertuah untuk bertemu dengan malam lailatul qadar akan diberi ganjaran pahala seperti beribadah selama 1000 bulan. Dan jika diterjemahkan dalam bentuk duniawi agaknya bolehlah dibandingkan umpama mendapat gaji berkerja selama 1000 bulan dengan hanya berkerja selama 1 malam sahaja! Jadi inilah yang penulis dapat tafsirkan makna bonus dalam konteks Ramadhan iaitu satu habuan yang Allah SWT berikan kepada umat islam yang datangnya cuma setahun sekali.

Berbalik kepada pengkaitan ke2 yang penulis berikan pada bulan Ramadhan ini iaitu MAKAN. Secara ringkasnya apa yang difahami umum oleh umat islam dari setiap peringkat umur puasa bererti tidak makan dan minum dari terbit fajar hinggalah terbenamnya matahari. Maka disini pada bulan ramadhan umat islam perlu mengawal nafsu makannya selama sebulan. Namun begitu budaya yang dapat dilihat dikalangan umat islam di Malaysia mengawal nafsu makan ini telah disempitkan hanya diaplikasikan pada siang hari sahaja. Telah menjadi lumrah orang kita disini untuk berbuka dengan berdozen2 jenis makanan setiap kali berbuka puasa. Dengan berbagai jenis nasi dan lauk-pauk, ditop-up lagi dengan beberapa variasi kuih-muih serta diupgrade dengan pelbagai jenis minuman. Mungkin sebab inilah bazar ramadhan tumbuh bak cendawan selepas hujan tiap kali ramadhan tiba bagi memenuhi nafsu makan umat islam di Malaysia. Ini adalah jauh berbeza dengan apa yang telah diamalkan oleh Rasulullah SAW, dimana beliau berbuka dengan ala kadar….kadang-kala juadah berbuka puasa beliau sekadar air dan buah tamar. Mungkin satu ‘post-mortem’ perlu diadakan bagi mengkaji semula cara umat islam di negara ini berbuka puasa untuk mengenalpasti kebaikan serta kelemahan budaya kita.

Seterusnya ingin penulis kupaskan erti sebenar puasa khasnya puasa di bulan ramadhan. Puasa adalah menahan diri daripada makan dan minum serta perkara2 yang membatalkan puasa dari terbit fajar hinggalah terbenam matahari. Dalam konteks yang lebih luas puasa buat umat islam adalah satu bentuk latihan mengawal nafsu-nafsu mereka yakni termasuklah nafsu makan, nafsu tidur, nafsu shawat, nafsu amarah dan juga semua jenis nafsu yang lain. Puasa dibulan ramadhan juga dalah salah satu ibadah wajib bagi umat islam yang sudah baligh, bebas dari keuzuran, waras dan juga dalam keadaan sedar. Tapi apa yang dapat diperhatikan berlaku kini dikalangan umat islam khasnya generasi muda, puasa hanyalah sekadar menahan diri daripada makan dan minum tidak lebih dari itu. Puasa dilaksanakan sekadar melepas batuk ditangga dan hampir digelar budaya orang Melayu di Malaysia. Mengapa penulis berkata sedemikian, kerana pada bulan puasa masih ramai yang bergelumang dengan dosa walaupun sedar diri sedang menjalankan ibadah puasa. Ada yang menunaikan ibadah puasa tetapi ibadah wajib lain seperti solat 5 waktu sehari semalam ditinggalkan dan bila tiba hari raya aidilfitri kita dapat lihat golongan ini berpusu2 pergi ke masjid bagi menunaikat solat SUNAT aidilfitri. Dapat diumpakan seperti memasak mee segera, air panas dan kelengkapan mangkuk, sudu dan garphu sudah disediakan cuma bahan yang terpenting yakni mee segera tiada….maka akhirnya minum je lah air panas. Biasa juga kita lihat aktiviti pergaulan bebas antara lain jantina berlaku dengan istikomah atau consistent sepanjang tahun merangkumi juga bulan puasa. Golongan umat islam ini tidak segan silu tersimpul malu untuk berpegangan tangan ditempat2 awam (amaran tempat tertutup pun hukumnya HARAM!), bertepuk bertampar dan kadang kala ada jua yang tidak segan untuk melakukan aksi2 WWE, ada juga yang berpelukan diatas motor walaupun belum ada sijil nikah serta berbagai, pelbagai dan bermacam perkara2 lain yang sepatutnya tidak diamalkan oleh umat islam sepanjang tahun khasnya dibulan mulia ini. Atas sebab2 inilah ibadah puasa penulis katakan diamalkan atas dasar budaya dan bukanya tuntutan agama, kerana budaya adalah amalan masyarakat setempat dan mungkin benar untuk masyarakat itu sahaja tetapi tuntutan agama adalah perkara yang semestinya yakni wajib dilakukan berlandaskan hukum dan peraturan yang telah ditetapkan oleh agama. Maka hairan atau tidak jika kita bertanya pada seseorang mengapa anda berpuasa di bulan ramadhan? Dan dijawabnya : Mestilah saya puasa, puasakan wajib di bulan ramadhan (bagi umat islam). Namun begitu pada masa yang sama individu itu dengan bangganya mendedahkan auratnya untuk tontonan khalayak umum, sedangakan menutup aurat itu juga hukumnya juga WAJIB (diingatkan aurat lelaki adlh diantara bahagian pusat hingga ke lutut dan bagi para wanita yg halal dilihat oleh lelaki bukan muhrim sekadar muka dan kedua2 telapak tangan…). Disamping itu penghayatan bulan puasa bagi sesetengah umat islam juga cuma sekadar hangat2 tahi ayam. Di awal bulan ramadhan kita dapat lihat ketika solat terawih, tu ha! saf sampai ke bahagian belakang masjid. Tapi cuba kita lihat semula dipertengahan dan akhir bulan ramadhan dan kita akan ajaib dengan kehilangan lebih daripada setengah jumlah jemaah yang hadir pada awal ramadhan. Bukankah sepatutnya bilangan jemaah ini meningkat dikala penghujung bulan ramadhan kerana malam yang dinanti-nantikan iaitu malam lailatul qadar hadir pd 10 malam yg terakhir. Satu lagi fenomena yang sering dikaitkan dengan cara umat islam disini menjalankan ibadah puasa adalah ramai yang mengambil peluang pada bulan ini untuk mencari duit lebih dengan berniaga. Ada yang membuka gerai menjual juadah berbuka puasa, ada pula yang sibuk mempromosikan kuih sebagai santapan di aidilfitri dan tidak lupa jua bisnes2 lain yang sering muncul dibulan puasa. Bukan niat penulis untuk mengkritik mahupun mematahkan niat baik golongan2 ini cuma penulis hampa kerana ada segelintir daripada mereka ini begitu taksub untuk mencari keuntungan di dunia sehingga lupa objektif asal Allah SWT mengurniakan bulan ramadhan ini kepada umat islam adalah untuk mengumpul keuntungan di akhirat.

   Akhir kata ingatan dan harapan penulis kepada diri sendiri dan umat islam yang lain khasnya yang serumpun dengan penulis agar menilai semula sejauh mana penghayataan bulan puasa yang kita amalkan selama ini dan sejauh mana iannya memenuhi tuntutan syarak dan sunnah Rasulullah SAW. Sama-samalah kita berazam agar ramadhan kali ini membawa seribu pengertian buat diri sendiri dan semoga ramadhan kali ini menjadi prekesur ataupun titik tolak kepada diri yang lebih baik merangkumi aspek duniawi dan ukhwari. Maaf juga dipohon jika apa yang ditulis menguris hati dan perasaan sesiapa jua dan mungkin juga ada yang berbeza dengan pendapat penulis. Namun niat penulis hanyalah menyampaikan apa yang baik dan menegah apa yang buruk. Pada kesempatan ini juga penulis ingin ucapkan Selamat menjalani ibadah puasa kepada semua yang mengenali diri penulis. Sekian assalamuaikum.

         

Today is a beautiful day indeed. Why I say that because today I still have the pleasure to wake up and breath the fresh air that God have be given to us. Today I still can walk freely to anywhere my heart desire (well almost anywhere I think). But the greatest gift of all is to live in a wonderful and peaceful country called MALAYSIA.  And 15 days from now we will celebrate our 50th years of independence.
So what does it means to a youth like me to celebrate this historical event for our nation. Im not even half of our independence age, people my age were born when our first national car were produced (Proton Saga back in 1985), we never have to endure the hardship of our older generation who lived under colonization era and the communist period. To some of us the independence mean we can :

                       • Hang out at the Mamak stalls until the wee hours

                       • Enjoy a delicious Nasi Lemak for only RM1 (only in someplace laa)
                       • Free internet usage at Hotspots (for wireless internet only)

           But surely it means a lot more than that….and for me it’s the peace and prosperity we enjoy all this years. Where else in this world we can see 3 major races (Malay, Chinese & Indian) and a lot more minor races (The pribumi of the peninsular, Sabah & Sarawak) live peacefully and working together hand by hand. Even people who have the same skin color, share the same language and eat the same type of food quarrel and fight all the time, such example is what is happening in the middle east. To make matter worse some people who used to live together as a nation, share the same culture have now break ties and bonds just for the reason they don’t share the same ideology anymore. This is what have happened to the Koreans after the Americans came to their land in  the name of liberation (DAMN those called kononnya freedom fighters). Just look at the result, those two called NORTH and SOUTH are now threatening each other with……

                                                      E = MC2

      (The equation that made the destructive effect of nuclear bomb possible)

Back in our homeland each of our race have their own unique culture that represent themselves.

   
                        MALAY                        CHINESE                         INDIAN

Clothing       Baju Melayu                     Chiongsam                         Sari

Food           Nasi Lemak                   Chicken Rice                   Roti Canai

Famous     Shah Alam Mosque       Penang Great Temple     Batu Caves Temple
Landmark
Celebration Hari Raya Aidilfitri          Chinese New Year             Deepavalli

          And even thought every race have their own identities we all still can seat side by side and enjoy each other presence. Example of this true unique bond is warmly felt at big holiday celebrations such as the Hari Raya open house event hold by the Malays. As for myself I can’t forget an incident from my childhood days when a good hearted Chinese women sent me home from school after I have miss my school bus. And while i was waiting in line to see the doctor after my tragic accident a few years ago, I still can remember how an old Indian lady was very concern about my injuries and had given me some words of encouragement. Maybe the same feeling is not felt by some of us especially the younger generations and the prejudice felt among the different race here in Malaysia is the biggest threat to our nation. So as a countrymen that love his country dearly I urge every Malaysians to put our differences behind and celebrated our 50th independence together-gether (a true Malaysian way of saying bersama2 hehe)   
To me this is what I as a Malaysian treasure the most.   

Love Your Life
Believe In Your
Own Potential
Wake Up Each Day
With The  Awe Of
Just Being Alive.
Forget The Past
Take The Power
To Choose
What You Want To Do
And Do It Well.
Open Your Heart And
Your Mind To Every
Opportunity
Dont Be Afraid
To Keep Trying
Create Yoyr Own Dreams.
Colour Your Life
With People And
Things You Love
Focus On All That is Good.
Life Always Gets
Better With A
POSITIVE Attitude.  

Success means something different
to each one of us, but it comes
to those who are willing to work hard
and who continues to be dedicated
to making their dreams come true.

Success means setting goals and
focusing yourself in the right direction
in order to reach them,
it means believing in yourself and
constanly reminding yourself that
you are capable of achieving your desires

But most of all success is being who you are,
and feeling proud of yourself
for every task and challenge that  you
face and conquer along the way.

Once upon  a time in a far faarrr away ‘kampung’ lived a young boy name ZACK. Zack was a hyperactive child who love to catch butterflies. He caught the butterflies so he can look at the wonderful colors the butterflies have. In his collection Zack has a wide array of different sizes and colorful butterflies which he caught using his looonngg and BIG butterfly net. One day while on his way to school, Zack suddenly spotted a very big and unique butterfly which he never seen before. He quickly run home to get his butterfly net and his glass container where he kept all his butterflies. Soon after that he rushed back to the spot where he has seen the butterfly and luckily for him it was still there. Without hesitation Zack swing his butterfly net at the butterfly but before he can catch it the butterfly flew off. When he see the butterfly tried to run away Zack quickly chased after it while swinging his butterfly net hysterically. Suddenly, while chasing the butterfly Zack lose his footing and fell down. Due to the fall, Zack injured his knees at the same time his long and big  butterfly net broke into two and his glass container shatter into pieces letting all his butterfly collection free. Seeing all his hard catch butterflies flew away in front of him made Zack very SAD…. For days Zack cried for all his butterfly collection which he loss and for his broken butterfly net. But on the 7th day after the tragedy, while sleeping an old man came to him. The old man said to Zack ‘Young boy you should let go of the past, there is so much wonderful things out there waiting to be discover. Life aint about how many butterflies you catch, its about how you appreciate its beauty and share it with the people you loved…’ When Zack woke up he realize it was just a dream, but the dream had made him understand that life is unpredictable, but in the end what have happened to him was right. Taking the tragedy positively Zack urge himself to get back doing the things he love so much, which is observing the beauty in butterflies. The incident have open his perspective in life and made him realize there is better way to enjoy his passion for butterflies. Now every time he wants to look at butterflies he will go to a lake garden near his home. This way he can enjoy looking at the beautiful butterflies without disturbing them. He also can look at all the wonderful insects in the garden rather then just looking at butterflies…

Morale of the story
Life is wonderful if you take things positively. It can be unpredictable some times but don’t let some mishap ruin all your dreams.

This is my real life story written in a metaphoric concept. The butterflies in the short story are d metaphor for my dreams and the long and big butterflies net are my right hand.

            

          Tahun 2020 cuma berbaki 13 tahun sahaja lagi sebelum negara kita, Malaysia mencapai cita-citanya untuk bergelar sebuah negara maju. Dengan pembangunan infrastruktur yang begitu pesat yang telah dan sedang giat dilakukan oleh para pemimpin impian tersebut bukanlah angan-angan kosong lagi. Namun begitu persoalannya kini adalah kita masyarakat Malaysia sudah bersedia untuk digelar sebuah masyarakat moden dengan kesedaran sivik yang mantap? Tanpa sifat ini segala, kemajuan yang sangat kita banggakan hanyalah sia-sia belaka kerana kita akan dipandang sebagai sebuah negara yang hanya maju dari segi infrasturtur dan teknologi tetapi masyarakatnya mundur serta tidak bertamadun. Oleh sebab inilah PM YAB Dato’ Seri Abdullah sangat menekan modal pembangunan insan di dalam RMK9 yang menentukan hala tuju negara kita dalam masa 5 tahun ini.

           Terdetik hati penulis untuk mengupas topik ini gara-gara insiden konfrontasi penulis dengan salah seorang penghuni pangsasiswa di kolej yang penulis duduki. Kejadian ini bermula apabila mahasiswa tersebut telah menganjurkan aktiviti membasuh motor bersama rakan-rakanya di kawasan lapang di belakang blok yang penulis dan mahasiswa tersebut tinggal. Bukan sahaja mereka telah menyalahgunakan kemudahan awam, malah bertindak lebih tidak bertamadun apabila membuat bising dan mencabuli hak privasi penghuni bilik dengan mengintai bilik-bilik yang berdekatan dengan mereka. Ini telah menyebabkan penghuni-penguni blok tersebut yang sedang belajar dan berehat berasa kurang selesa dengan kehadiran anasir-anasir luar ini. Selepas selesai bermain air bersama-motor mereka, anasir-anasir ini beredar begitu sahaja tanpa berasa segan dan silu meninggalkan tempat tersebut tanpa membersihkan sampah sarap yang telah mereka tinggalkan. Melihat keadaan tersebut penulis berasa hampa, kecewa dan juga marah dengan sikap mereka. Beginikah sikap yang ditunjukkan oleh seseorang yang bergelar mahasiswa? Menuntut ilmu hingga ke menara gading, sehingga senak ilmu didada namun langsung tidak mempunyai kesedaran sivik.
Tidak lama kemudian penulis mengambil keputusan untuk bersemuka dengan salah seorang mahasiswa yang terlibat dengan aktiviti memandikan motor sebentar tadi yang juga merupakan jiran kepada penulis. Dengan hati yang agak panas, penulis bertindak nekad untuk menegur sikap mahasiswa dan rakan-rakanya itu dan meminta beliau agar mengembalikan tempat yang mereka telah gunakan seperti asal kerana ia adalah tempat awam yang dibina bukan untuk mereka sahaja tetapi untuk penghuni lain di blok tersebut. Mungkin disebabkan oleh perasaan angkuh dan segan untuk mengaku kesilapan diri sendiri mahasiswa tersebut berasa tidak puas hati dengan diri penulis dan menyarankan supaya penulis sendiri pergi membersihkan sampah yang mereka tinggalkan. Alangkah terkejutnya diri ini dengan sikap mahasiswa itu, sudahlah pergi begitu sahaja setelah menggunakan harta awam, kini berani pula menyuruh insan lain menangung masalah yang disebabkan oleh tindakan tidak bertanggungjawap mereka. Kerana tidak ingin menghangatkan lagi konfrontasi penulis dengan mahasiswa itu, saya pun berlalu pergi dengan hati yang terbakar kerana saya lebih tahu tidak ada gunanya membazir tenaga bertengkar dengan manusia tidak bertamadun seperti itu.

               Ekoran konfrontasi itu, penulis balik ke bilik dengan hati memaki hamun mahasiswa tadi. Tetapi apabila difikirkan kembali apa yang telah berlaku mungkin penulis juga bersalah kerana menegur mahasiswa tersebut dengan kasar dan tidak menunjukan sifat sebenar seorang mahasiswa yang boleh berdiplomasi. Jadi penulis mengambil keputusan untuk bersemuka kembali dengan mahasiswa tersebut untuk meminta maaf dengan teguran penulis yang kurang sopan dan yang lebih penting agar tidak timbul perasaan benci dan marah antara kami jiran seblok. Penulis pun pergi mencari mahasiswa tadi dan terjumpa beliau di tempat kejadian (tempat aktiviti membasuh motor) dan kelihatan mahasiswa tersebut sedang membersihkan kawasan itu. Tanpa ragu-ragu penulis pergi berjumpa dengan beliau untuk mengucapkan terima kasih kerana membersihkan semula sampah yang mereka tinggalkan dan meminta maaf dengan cara diri penulis menegur beliau sebelum ini. Mahasiswa tersebut nampaknya dapat menerima mohon maaf daripada penulis namun masih menekan pendirianya mengapa penulis sendrir tidak dapat membersihkan kawasan tersebut…… CERITA TAMAT.

           Apa yang ingin ditonjolkan oleh penulis disebalik cerita ini adalah sikap tidak bertamadun segelintir daripada kita. Walaupun dalam kes yang diceritakan disini melibatkan masalah remeh temeh namun sebagai seorang rakyat Malaysia yang CINTAkan negaranya lebih-lebih lagi seorang mahasiswa yang bakal memimpin negara, wajarkah isu ini diambil mudah? Tahukah anda berapa banyak wang ringgit yang telah dihabiskan oleh kerajaan untuk membersihkan sampah sarap dan membaiki semula kemudahan awam yang telah dijahanamkan oleh manusia-manusia tidak bertamadun seperti mahasiswa tadi? Sedangkan wang tersebut boleh digunakan untuk pelaburan yang lebih berfaedah seperti membina sekolah dan mungkin jabatan bengkok antara Malaysia dan Singapura (angan-angan sahaja). Selain daripada itu ingin penulis tekankan juga kadang kala sikap mengalah semasa konfrontasi tidak menunjukan anda seorang yang lemah atau penakut. Anda sebenarnya seorang yang bertamadun yang boleh membuat timbang tara demi faedah bersama bak kata pepatah dari barat ‘We dont always need to SHOUT to get things done’. Dan seorang lelaki sejati tidak takut untuk meminta maaf dan mengaku salah apabila dia membuat kesilapan ‘a gentleman will admits when he is wrong and politely ask for forgiveness’

-Bekas pemain ‘d gentlemen game’ dr kolej D

          Kebelakangan ni semenjak aku tangguh pengajian sbb eksiden dah byk kali aku berbual dgn masyarakat bkaitan penuntut Institusi Pengajian Tinggi & overall pandangan dorang kat bdk2 U (local ones) wlpn x brp sedap didengar blh dikatakan kbyknny negative. Disini aku akan cuba kongsi apa yg aku dpt dari dorang.   K 1st dari mata SIFU kite kt U…..lecrturer le. Some lecturers anggap students dia sangat pemalas & biasanya perkatan MALAS ni akan dikaitkan dgn orang MELAYU (yg ckp ni lecturer melayu) Ada yg cakap U students now days r 2 dependent 2 their lecturers…..exam baca nota lecturer j n harap lecturer bg tips soalan yg akn keluar.

          2nd dari sudut majikan. Feedback dari dorang mengatakan student local U r too exam oriented, maksudnya dari segi teori student ni tau tp bile suruh buat technical work….HANCUS & HAMPEH. N then bila interview mcm2 kelemahan dpt dikesan. 1 example is when my Mum held an interview 4 a job vacancies as a Physic teacher 4 a secondary school. Tanya soalan trick sikit tketar2 nak jawap (it shows that there hv no confidence), Tanya pendapat mengenai isu semasa……tunduk membisu (they cant express themselves) Dari situ je majikan dh tau yg graduan ni xda communication skill n ape lagi skill2 lain mcm leadership n so on. N then when their finally get hired……keja skema badut dalam bahasa lain kalo keja ikut sebijik2 mcm dlm buku or 4 short x flexible n x creative….kalo ko belajar kene guna cara A sampai ke tua pakai cara tu je lerrr.

           Then dari pandangan masyrkt umum (people on d street). 2 months ago Sunday mase dlm perjalanan balik dr Seremban k JB dlm bas aku borak le dgn co-driver bas (mayb sbb aku sorang j passenger melayu dlm bas 2) Lama gak aku borak ngan die n antara topic pbualan kita orang adalah mgenai pelajar U yg ROSAK…… menurut kate driver bas 2 kalo setakat pasangan kekasih yg bgelar mahasiswa n mahasiswi buat ‘projectxxx’ kt dlm bas, die dh biasa tengok…..usually couple ni pilih seat yg belakang2 n bas trip mlm supaya x ramai ‘penonton’. Dan aku x bole nafikan le benda ni (pergaulan bebas lelaki & perempuan) mmg berlaku x kira le kt dlm or kat luar U. Setakat cite buat project dlm dwn kuliah k, dlm toilet k, dlm keta k or kt tmn bunga yg melibatkan bdk2 U ni dh naik muak ak dengar, tgk scr live j belum. N a week after that waktu lunch break dgn staff kt tempat ak buat practical, dia cite yg punye le ROSAK some student U ni sampai die penah tgk 1 psgn lesbian (girl ngan girl) bkucupan waktu die singgah kt bilik adik dia kt 1 of d local U here. Kalo gay(bhs pasar Pondan/Bapuk/Sutunnn) x pyh cite pn raseny ramai dh tau…..dh le spesies lelaki dh nk pupus kt local U, ade pulak yg x bsyukur dgn ciptaan Tuhan…..aku rase lps ni kena buat KUOTA utk lelaki tulen lerrr. Ha! Hampir tlupa masy kt luar jgk anggap pekerjaan sebagai PENANAM ANGGUR adalh sbhgn dari training sblm kerja (mayb sbb ramai sgt degree/diploma holders mnganggur kot)
K skrg dh tiba masenya utk aku buat pergulungan berkaitan topic kite utk hari ni. Secara realitinya keadaan kini dh x sama langsung dgn zaman mak bapak kite belajar dulu. Kalo dulu dpt msk U wlpn local ones dh bole buat riuh 1 kampung. Tp skrg its nothing 2 be shout about, people out there x heran pn ko ni bljr sampai ke menara gading atau x. Sampai ade yg rase msk U ni is just a waste of money n time plus d fact that now kat U ade mcm2 dugaan, cabaran n godaan yg dulu xda….. Memang x blh nk dinafikan bhw mmg ramai bdk U yg rosak n bile grad x bkualiti so tpaksa tanam anggur…… Hey! im no ANGEL, aku pn pernah timbulkn mslh (biasany ksalahan trafik : naik moto x pakai helmet, parking ikut suke n pandu lawan arah) Ade sekali ak x penah lupe kena sound dgn sorang Pak Guard : ‘Belajar tinggi2 tapi peraturan jln raya yg senang pn x blh ikut’dan bile otak ak translatekn bunyi mcm ni pulak : OTAK PANDAI TAPI PERANGAI MCM ORG X BTAMADUN…..mmg PEDASSS tp tu kenyataan dan ak rase semua problem ni ade kaitan dgn attitude kite. We may hv d brains 2 answer examination questions but don’t use them in d way we think.
             But way a minute……WOHOOO u cant put all d blame on our shoulders. The way we act is d result of how d older generation teach us. Tapi sekarang bukan maseny utk menunding jari……lebih baik kite cr jln pyelesaian kpd mslh yg bakal menentukan masa depan Negara dan mcm mane nk ubah pandangan negative masyrt thadap student U tempatan khasny. Problem ptama : Student Malas…….k mule2 kite cari knp student U ni malas2 belaka. Base on my opinion kite punye sistem pendidikn contribute kpd mslh ni. Ye arr dari kecik kite disuruh bljr by our teachers n parents dr pagi sampai malam n when u enter university xda sape nk paksa ko bljr. Mslh ni lagi ketara dikalangan Boarding School Students(tmasuklah aku) …..kt asrama dl mmg hampr setiap mase yg ade dperuntukkan utk study (from every angel mmg dh disetkn utk kite study je) N bile dh msk U kite bebas nk bahagikan mase so some of us FAIL miserably. Faktor lain yg turut mberi sumbangan adlh bagaimana generasi sblm kite (our parents, teachers n others) yg dh setkn minda kite kalo nk bjaya kn choose bidang ini, itu n itun….n bile kt U kite bljr la benda2 yg kite lgsg x minat, so bile x minat usually jd malas le. Jadi antara langkah yg boleh diambl ialah kite kena losen sikit & ubah cara kite didik generasi baru…… x payah le terlalu ‘strict’ sgt. Kalo x belajar, tengking, marah or worse pukul. Yes mmg kite kena suruh generasi baru ni belajar tapi ade care lain, why not make learning a wonderfull experience…. Didik dorang belajar bukan sbb nak past exam with flying colours je tp utk digunakan dlm kehidupan, kalo dorang malas nasihat baik2 n told them what d reason kn bljr n kalo dorang rajin puji or bg reward (slh satu cara nk tunjukn yg belajar ni akn mdatangknfaedah/keuntungan)

       Problem ke 2 : Student x bkualiti……Ni pn same sistem pendidikan kite mmg terlalu exam oriented dan trend student SPM skrg kumpul A (zmn ak dl 9 je, skrg 11/12/13 tu kire biasa) Kita diajar ilmu utk digunakn mase jwp exam j n bukan utk dipraktikkn dlm kehidupan. Msk U pn same, semata2 utk dpt segulung ijazah dgn CGPA yg perfect….. University should b a place 2 discover our true potential n developed our skills tapi benda 2 xkn kite dpt kalo subject Khidmat Masyarakat pn penilaian base on exam bertulis. Dan x heran le kalo graduan Malaysia x reti beri pendapat sbb kat kite punye local U kebebasan bsuara sgt terhad. Nk bsuara kbenda kalo pilihanraya kampus yg kununny mdukung prinsip demokrasi x tulus. Dengan jelas semua student yg ade deria yg sempurna (yg x sempurna pn tau) bhw pilihanraya kampus BERAT SEBELAH…… aku xde bpihak kpd sesiapa tp kalo kite analisa dgn akal yg waras kite akn sedar. Nasib baik kementerian dh sedar problem ni & nk ubah sistm pendidikan sekolah yg tlalu exam oriented slowly…..10 thn mmg agak slow. Dorang patut aplikasikn ilmu teori dgn kerja2 teknikal. Sistem kokurikulum pn kn ubah spy diambil kira sebagai kayu pengukur students, so students kn la excel both on academics n cocuriculum now thats a reason 4 d students 2 b active xda le kite dgr ‘buat ape nk join aktvt kokurikulum buat penat badan je’. N 2 universities admidsration : We r not brainless robots, we know what is right n what is wrong……..u cant shut our mouth 4 ever. Give we d opportunity n medium 2 voice our oppinion

        3rd problem : Graduan Menganggur. Punca utama pd pendapat aku ialah our government hasilkn graduan x menepati kehendak pasaran. Dr byk segi kita blh nilai, antranya pasaran x perlukan graduan dlm sesuatu bidang(cth IT n now biotech pn ad gaye nk msk dlm list) dgn byk on that particular time. Dh byk kali jd our government pandai merancang tp x reti nk laksanakn (cyberjaya baru brp % occupied, biovalley lg x yah cite) Isu tbaru guru pn mnganggur sbb graduan perguruan yg dihasilkn x cater dgn demand pasaran yg nk teachers only on certain fields. N yg lg best our country semua nk fast forward sampai our biotech degree holders yg edisi mee segera (3 years crash course) x diiktiraf di dunia barat (they all at least 4 year course). Apa yg Kementerian kena buat ialah duduk semeja dgn all d market big players n bbincang apa yg dimahukn oleh pasaran so d next batch of universities grad mmg dh dilatih utk bekerja dlm pasaran Malaysia.

        Dan masalah yg terakhir ni susah sikit, : Student U ROSAK. Kalo kt western countries its not a big problem but Malaysia is located on d east plus d fact it is an Islamic country so kita ade nilai2 yg kita perlu pelihara dan every major religion kt Malaysia tegah benda2 tu semua…..maybe parents n family kena main peranan didik anak mereka betul2 sbg persediaan sblm bebaskan dorang ke alam ‘Universiti’ Tp yg lg penting walau byk mane pn kite ubah system pendidikan k, beri peluang byk mn pn, kalo we budak2 U sendiri x nak berubah………. X jadi mende jgk. Mcm mn orang lain paksa pn kalo sendiri dh mmg MALAS, x dpt den nk nolong. Sebenarnya kite sendr kene pandai ambil inisiatif & rebut peluang. Banyak j persatuan kt U yg blh bantu utk developed skills dlm diri so xda alasan le kalo kate zmn sekolah dulu xda peluang skrg ni bgantung pd diri sendiri. Like one of my seniors always said : Segulung ijazah tu cuma 1 syarat je utk mbolehkn kite hadiri interview, yg lain kite akn dinilai bdasarkn kebolehan utk bkomunikasi n knowledge yg kadang2 x penah diajar pn kt dlm dewan kuliah. Jgn kite lupa zmn skrg bukan mcm dulu keluar je gerenti dpt keja (now only doctors can claim that) So x blh le nk memilih n 2 demanding, ade je peluang kerja terima je dulu, dan start le dr bawah or bile dh ade working experience blah le ke tempat lain yg korang rase lg best. Dan bagaimana kite didik pn mcm menatang minyak yg penuh, dilentur seawal mane pn bile dh tua bangka mcm ni kalo x ikut ape yg dh diajar….cume blh salakn diri sendire je ler. Sbb kite ni manusia bukan kambing, bina pagar setinggi mane pn kalo manusia 2 nk keluar die akn cr jalan…..maksud aku buat le undang2 byk mn pn kalo dh otak nk buat pedajal….die akn cr jln jgk. Actually d best way utk halang dr buat yg bukan2 adlh keYAKINAN bhw ada kuasa yg lg hebat dari manusia yg akn nilai kite diakhir pjalanan hidup & waktu tu dpt 4 flat pn x dpt bantu.

         So nk settlekn problem ni disamping parents, teachers d goverment kn ubah sikap…… sbnrny kite sendirilah yg akn menentukan kemana sebenarny Hala Tuju Graduan Malaysia dan bukan tu je, kite jgk yg akn mcorakn masa depan tanah air Malaysia yg tcinta….. besar tanggungjawap tu. So that’s all 4 now,actually dh lame aku tulis ‘recana’ ni tp br mlm ni tuhan bagi keyakinan nak postkn. Diingatkan ini adalah pendapat AKU, mungkin yg diluar sana ada yg bersetuju & ada yg tidak…..so tolong la berkongsi sama pendapat anda kerna dlm isu ni kita bukan nk cr siapa salah tp nk cr jln penyelesaian yg terbaik.

Barely a year
after became permanently handicapped, im back in my game. Which is outdoor
activity and to be specific mount climbing. So for the 4^th time I
will try to climb the majestic Mount Ledang. This time it’s the hardest climb
because for the 1^st time I will be climbing from Asahan, Melaka and
I have to endure much obstacle mainly before the journey even have started.

The 1^st
obstacle is to persuade my family and close friends to let me went a head with
my plan to join the expedition. At the beginning they all prohibited me to go
because in my current condition (to those who does not know due to the accident
my right hand is not fully functional) it is to risky. Many people doubt my
ability to be physically active again especially in extreme activity that
usually need the person to be physically fit n healthy. But after much
persuasion and a guarantee from my UPSM mates that they take a good care of me
my family finally agreed to let me go. The biggest obstacle I have to encounter
is to convince myself that im still able to do this kind of activity. Yes even
me, myself and I  sometimes doubt it can
I still endure the physical strain of mount climbing in this condition. Even
more doubtful is do I still have the stamina to do it, because after the
accident my stamina have drop tremendously. Im no longer able to jog 6km non
stop like I used to do before I climbed Mount Kinabalu. So about a month before
the expedition ive started my training, and 1 week before the climb I successfully
passed the fitness test that every participant have to took. To pass this
fitness test, for boys they have to cover a distance of 2 km under 15minutes
and for the girls under 18 minutes. Now im physically fit for the task but can
I conquer the top of Mount Ledang? You have to read till the end to know the
answer.

So on the 4th of
September 2006 we began our journey to Asahan from Ayer Keroh, Melaka n we
reach the camping site at the foot of mount Ledang just before night fall. That
night, after having our dinner, we were gathered around to be briefed from our
guider on our journey the next morning and on the guidelines and rules during
the expedition. And when the guider asked if there is anyone who is sick or
have physical problems, I without delay raised my hand. After learned about my
difficulties, the guider asked me what’s was the heaviest thing I have lifted
after becoming a handicapped. And my answer was a box full with 24 bottles of
250 ml mineral water. Base on my answer he seems satisfied and gave me the
green light to join the expedition. Next morning around 9pm after having our
breakfast and finished packing our bags, we began our journey to Batu Gajah
base camp. Due to my conditions, I was given the privileged to carry a lighter
bag then the other boys and I have a special ‘body guard’ accompanying me. The
journey to Batu Gajah g is quiet easy for an experience climber such as me. The
track wasn’t to steep and there is many leveled spot for us to rest. The
difference between this track and the one from Sagil is using this track we
have to cover more distance because we have to travel trough several lower peaks
before we reach the top of Mount Ledang. But I wasn’t prepared for the final
climb to Batu Gajah. To reach there 1^st we have to climb a rocky
section near 90 degrees steep. Even thought there are ropes to help us climb
it, but I wasn’t sure are these hands of mine is capable of pulling the whole
weight of my body and bag pack. Fortunately my personal bodyguard which is
Padlee Akirul was there to carry my bag pack and safely accompany me on my
final journey to reach Batu Gajah.

I finally reached
Batu Gajah around 1.30 pm. The 1^st thing to do is assemble our tents
and cook our lunch meal. After that we all can have a nice cold shower at the waterfall
beside our camping site. Brrrrrr….it sure is cold, after 10 minutes we all have
started shivering. Then is the awaited even for the day. The UPSM juniors will
stage a musical gala for we the seniors. It sure is fun watching them tried to
sing fighting the cold night mountain wind. But 2 thumbs up to them for
successfully present to us an entertaining performance. By midnight most of us
including me have fallen asleep.
We wake up the next day and began our journey
to the top at 5 am. Nearer to the top the surface became steeper and at one
time we have to use ladders to climb it. Finally by 9 am we all have reached
the top of Mount Ledang and for me
alhamdulillah its d 4th one. After resting and enjoying the view up there, we
began our journey descending Mount Ledang. By mid day we have reached Batu
Gajah and after filling our tummy n dissemble our tents we started our journey
down to Asahan. By this time most of all have become very tired so some of the
teams have split into smaller ones with the weaker one were left behind.
I also
have been split from my personal bodyguard.  It all went well until the last 2 checkpoints.
This was when I lose my footing n fell because of the slippery track. It wasn’t
a nasty fall but because I fell on my right side of my body, my right hand was
flattened with my own body. It felt like my hand was being pulled out from my
body because of the un normal form of my right hand it had made my elbow very, VERY sensitive. Even if u
knock it softly It surely felt like an electric current run through my hand,
just imagine if I fall with my elbow touch the ground first. After that I can
even move my hand n it need to be stitched. If before I fall down I cant fully
use my right hand now I cant use my right hand at all. So for the rest of the
journey down I have to be escorted by not 1 but 2 body guards, 1 in front of me
n the other one cover me from behind because I cant take another fall. If I fall
once more im sure turn unconscious because of the extend of the pain. During
this time I started to regret my decision to join the expedition. All kinds of
questions keep running in my head : Could I still used my right hand? Have I
waste all my time n effort to improve my right hand condition like it was until
before the fall? (My right hand hv improved tremendously if compared to the
condition it was just after the accident) n what was the extend of the injury
of my right hand due to the fall? Also suddenly my mum’s words comes to me. B4
the expedition, finally when she gave in to my request she remind me that I am
a MEN now so I have the final say in things I want to do in my life but I also
have to take the consequences of my action. Yeah what she said was true n
probably this is the reaction of my action (the law of physics : for every
action there is a reaction)

By 5 pm I finally
reached the base camp at Asahan, and I was at the mercy of my fellow mates who
helped me to pack my things n get prepared to go back to UKM. The next day I
went to see the doctor to take a look at my injuries, gladly the doctor said I
only suffer a shock to my right hand n there wasn’t any permanent injuries.
Even thought I didn’t broke my right arm, I can only used my right hand like
before I fall down 1 week later.  So what
have I achieved during this expedition? 1stly I have proved to who ever that
doubt my ability to return to this kind
of activity. 2ndly I have learned that I still can do this kind of things but
at a greater risk then normal people (some of my friends fell down more then 5
times but they doesn’t suffer injuries such as me) and that makes me unsuitable
for this kind of this activity. I also have learned that I have to be
responsible for every decision I make cause sometimes it will not only affect
myself but people around me (this time my fellow mates who hv to took care of
me). And the morale of the story is it is how u look at life. At one point of
view some people say that im a very hard headed a.k.a. DEGIL type of person. I
like things to go my way, I like to proof to people that they r wrong n im
right. But if u look at another angle, im a FIGTHER n FIGHTER FIGHT. I dont
like to give in n gave up easily. Like what Sylvester Stallone in the movie
Rocky Balboa said : Life is aint about how hard u hit, its about how hard u can
get hit n keep moving forward. For me it aint about how high I can reach, its
about how many times I can get up when I fell down. AND THAT’S HOW I DONE IT!
In the end I realize the expedition is aint about proving people wrong n im
right. It aint about conquering mount Ledang for d 4^th time, its
about conquering my fear of being un normal. Its okay if ur different as long u
can do the things u enjoy.

 

 

(A wish of gratitude to all my fellow UPSM
members who have helped me all the way up to the top n way back down especially
to Mr Bom2, Mr Panjang n Mr Pong)         

 

            Finally after taking a long break, its time to write once again. Some wonder why d heck im taking so long to write this one. Well, I can give a million reason such as im really busy cause I hv started my studies, I don’t hv idea and so on… But d real reason is im not ready to write d final chapter about my life after that dreadful day. Its like when someone asked u : r u ready 2 die? And u guys know d answer I guess. But I insisted on this day I will tell d world d story that will summarize it all. So I will try my best to tell all of u how I hv cope with my disability n how I hv survived campus life as a handicapped person.

            After 8 weeks of industrial training, I was confidence that I was ready to continue my undergraduate studies in UKM. I better b ready cause d 1^st month there was really hard especially d 1^st few weeks. On d 1^st day back UKM I was already in trouble when I  arrived a day earlier 4 college registration n hv 2 wait until d next day b4 I can enter my room. Luckily 4 me I can hang out at my friends house nearby with my stuff b4 I register. When I finally check into my hostel room to my disbelief d room they gave me was in a sad condition. With its door lock jammed and its main light broken it really got me piss off. After complaining 2 d college principle d matter was solve.

            D 1^st week of lecture was very challenging. On d 1^st day of lecture I hv 2 change all my earlier registered subjects 4 new ones because I hv 2 finish all my 2^nd yr subjects that I miss during my long vacation after d accident b4 I can took my 3^rd yr subjects. This mean….. I hv to learn all that subject with perfect strangers (2^nd yr students that I never knew) There is no one that I know n plus d fact I hv 2 mix d person younger then me n whom r already familiar with each other. It feels like when u transferred to a new school when u was a kid. So my 1^st task beside adjusting 2 d hectic schedule 4 this semester (class everyday from morning 2 late evening) is I also hv to broaden my influence n make new allies n enemies (hope not). Thanks 2 my soft skills that wasn’t a big hassle n plus d fact im d ‘special’ one make it easier 4 me 2 gain attention from d whole class (just raise my right hand n people will sure stare at me with jaws open)

            And u think d problem ends there, nnnnooooo. A few weeks later I realize there is a problem with my scholarship when im d only person who haven’t got d money transferred into my account. When I contacted d scholarship provider (JPA) they told me that they aint giving me money ths semester cause they hv deposit d money 4 d semester that I hv put on hold ( d semester that I skip after d accident). Then WHY there isn’t any money in my account? D answer is d UKM treasure is holding it. SHIT!!! n they need clarification from JPA b4 they can transfer it into my account. The whole process took a month time (ikat perut aku waktu tu) If that wasn’t enough, my Takaful insurance claim also was put on delay.

With all this problems plus d hectic schedule, it hv taken its toll on me. During that time I started 2 give up, blaming all of this problems onto that tragic accident. Would I hv 2 encounter all this problems if I hv not fallen asleep while driving n go barging onto a lorry. Earlier I thought Ive gone pass ths period in my life. But….when d going gets though I cant help 2 feel that sinking feeling once again. Its like when d time d doctor told me that I will not recover fully n I hv become handicapped 4 life. Maybe b4 this I just keep it strong n move a long without fully understand d true reason why im fated on d 15^th December 2005 I will became an handicapped. N only after 7 months after that day that I finally found d answer that keeps bugging me for all this time (I hope so….) During this harsh time that I found d reason why ths is happening to me. D answer was in front of me all this time, it just I ignored it. I don’t know why but on that day my heart was open 2 read d Quran with its translation (usually I only read d Quran without its translation) n when I got to Surah An-Najm Verse 55 which mean “Maka terhadap nikmat Tuhanmu yang manakah kamu ragu-ragu?” my heart was so deeply touch that I cried…. I cried with my full heart like I never hv cried b4 (after d accident I never shed a tear until that day) Only then I realize that God put me into this mishap with a purpose n that is to remind me to be thankful for all I have n appreciate it. To be thankful 4 all God hv gave me such as health, my family, friends n d most important my faith….. Yes all this while when I was at d peak of my life, I forgotten all about it. I tough I can do everything I want n get what ever my heart desire. I miss use what God hv gave me, but like d saying goes that u don’t know what u got until its gone. It maybe hv taken me 7 months to really understood d true meaning behind that miss hap but after that I felt thankful that it does happen to me. Cause if u look it at another point of view its like a reminder from up above when u r going astray in ur journey in life n it gets u back on track. N like d verse from d song Time Of Ur Life by Green Day summarize it all : Its something unpredictable, But in the end its righ…… u never wanted it to happen, but its happen n it happen  4 a reason 

After that I feel like a heavy burden hv been lift up from my shoulder. Everything became easier for me….it all because ive change my point of view. I would think positive in everything that hv happen n will happen to me n d most important thing is ive found d answer Ive been searching for all this while. Hey! Life is unpredictable n it aint always go d way u hv plan it. SHIT happens but it depends on u 2 turn it around. Turn ur weakness into ur advantage n never give up. For me all d suffering n pain physically, mentally n especially emotionally hv made me a new men. In this condition im reaching new boundaries, scaling new heights n conquering new turfs. N for all of us : Have u find d true answer d reason WHY we were created n born into this world? (if u think u hv d answer please tell me cause im still in d quest 2 find it) DISCOVER YOURSELF….

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it’s worth it was worth all the while

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It’s something unpredictable, but in the end it’s right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Name: Suhaib @ G.U.S @ BonZeR @ BOY @ Handsome (Really 1 of d staff there call me by that name)

Codename: 004

Mission: Industrial training for 8 weeks (Would U take an O.K.U as a trainee? Yeah I should have guessed d answer)

Place : Johore Specialist Hospital (d same place where I received my treatment after d accident)
1st in command: Prof Ismail
2nd in command: Puan Ruwaidah
Task: 1. Learn about theory n technical clinical microbiology
          2. Get used 2 a microbiologist line of duty
          3. Learn how a hospital lab work

          4. Show 2 d world that I can still lead a normal life
          5. Tackle 1 of d trainee nurses (OPTIONAL….muahahaha)

Week 6 (11/6/06 - 16/6/06)

           Yeah, Yeah i know im wayy, wayyyyyy behind schedule…. but sometimes i wonder does anyone read my blog (some say it fulll of crap…yes sometimes i merepek a lot) but d intention i created this blog cause i want to share my experience, maybe u guys dont hv repeat d mistakes i hv done in life n take what is goood as an example….. so as a dedicated bloggers this week i pusblish 2 of my practical report… here it is, please do enjoy it.

           This week is the most challenging week so far. My worst nightmare has finally come…. My supervisor hv started comparing me with my colleague. Its ok with me if she is comparing me with someone in the same state as me. But comparing me with a

NORMAL

person! Is that fair??? ( Ek eleh, kecoh ar mamat ni. Kn dh 6 bln lps ko eksiden x kn x sembuh2 lagi? ) Some of u might think that way. Yes it hv hv been 6 month n my health hv improved tremendously. But I still cant bend n straighten my right hand fully plus my right hand wrist n elbow are also stiff. My daily work at d lab pretty much done manually n it all are hands on work. How about my left hand its still fully functional right  u asked?…..Yup but just think about it, how much work can be done n how long will it take if I only used my left hand. N don’t forget im a right hander so my left hand is not flexible as my right hand used 2 be.

            No matter how detail I try to explain…. Only an O.K.U like me can feel d physical n especially d mental n emotional pain I hv 2 endure. DAMN!!! Im so frustrated cause I know I can do better if ONLY d accident never happened. Kak Y is comparing our work at d safety cabinet section. Yes all this while my colleague had done it faster then me. I can give 2 reasons why : 1^st she NORMAL n I…. well no matter how I hate 2 admitted it im now a HANDICAP. 2^nd she got more exposure  involving work on d safety cabinet section compared 2 me cause kak Y let her do all d work n she just observe from behind while on my case abg Lan only allowed me 2 do al d proceed work. Only just recently I got d chances 2 do all d work over there. N now they expect me 2 perform like my voleague? HELL! if only that is possible….. even worse d one who is evaluating our work is kak Y n she expect me to d all d work d way she wanted (u think I can read

ur

mind eh kak y?) Abg Lan pn lbh kurang, perli2 gua. Gua tau la gua buat kerja x laju.

All this while  I hv ben holding back. Im a lay back person, I like 2 do my work calmly n with a smile on my face [Not like my colleague,=( muke asyik mencuka je] To me practical training means it’s a time to learn, soooo take take

ur

time. We aren’t paid 2 do all his work (we do get paid but not as much as d other lab staff) But if u want it that way, then I just hv 2 shift into a higher gear….. No more holding back 4 me n NO MORE MR NICE GUY. I show them that I maybe physically disable but mentally n emotionally im stronger. I beat her best time (

10.55 am

I supposed) I try my best n that’s the last thing I do.

But in a positive way maybe my supervisors r doing this so ill give my fullest. So I can develop my true potential. Maybe they r training me so I get used 2 d hectic environment in a private hospital, where d customer pay us 2 get their result in d shortest time frame.  I hv always love challenges n when god  hv obstruct obstacle 4 me I will try 2 tackle It head on (it may sound a bit cocky 2 u guys but it always hv been that way n I produce unexpected result…. X percaya? Then go n ask my family, close friends, teachers n even my orthopedic doctor) N this time I also take it as one of d many challenges I hv 2 face during my journey as a humble God servant. I hope it can help me to improve myself in my mission to become a better person…..insyaallah.    

                                                   

Week 7 (18/6/06 - 23/6/06)

           So this week I began my practical training with a determination to show my supervisors im capable of doing d lab work as sufficient as my colleague. N I hv set d goal 2 accomplish : finish all d  work at d safety cabinet section b4

11am

. Day1:

Mission

failed I only can manag 2 finish it at 1230pm (Arghh apehal beza gile ni). Day 2: its not my turn 2 work at d safety cabinet, but Im timing my colleague performance  (her time 4 that day is 1215pm but I want to beat her best time) Day 3:

Mission

failed lagi. (Ciss… because I hv 2 get d green light from kak y b4 I can proceed my work after I hv examine all d bact culture so if kak y ask me 2 wait after I hv finish examine d culture, then d only thing I can do is wait…. But it is getting in my nerve cause how d hell can I beat her time if it continues to be like this GRRRRR…)  Day 4 : Aku x lepak kt situ ler hari ni…. Day 5: just managed to finish b4 12 (Aiyaa bile gua nak buat cepat2 ade je sampel dtg mganggu…. I hv 2 culture d sample 1^st b4 I can proceed with my work). Day 5: Even though its not my turn 2 work at d safety cabinet (I never got d chance 2 work over there on Friday cause kak y think I can finish all d work there b4 1230) But I insisted I want 2 do it even I hv 2 go home late cause I think this is my only chance. So I got what I wanted n that day I work with my fullest concentration, energy n determination….. I don’t care if my right hand will b aching afterward, I don’t give a damn if I wont b able 2 talk to anyone while I work that day(im a talkative person a good listener as well n both of my supervisor know who 2 turn to if they hv anything to talk about me or d lifeless trainee… I may sound cruel but it’s a fact, that girl if u asked anything she will try 2 reply it with only 1 word)  N in d end…… I finished all my work exactly at

11.10am

. Disappointed? Of course I am, cause I think I hv tried my best but in d end I still lose in my own mind built competition. But its not a fair n square competition…… d amount of bacteria culture we hv to proceed differ sometime she hv more n sometime mine was more. Sometime theres no sample need 2 be cultured n we can focused on just d bact culture processing n bact identification or on some days the sample just keep coming. So 2 say she better then me or Im worse then her is unfair in this current condition. But I admit shes a worthy opponent (in a good way I mean). But I think kak y got my message(that I am as capable as my colleague) n I hope she accept me just the way I am.

      Ohh during this week also I met someone who hv d same passion as I do. That person is kak Oja one of d lab technician here in jsh. We both love outdoor activities (Mount climbing, explore d jungle n all kind of outdoor activities). Finally I can share my experience with an outdoor freak like me n she also got many incredible stories to tell. Compared to her im like an amateur (she hv climbed almost every mount in ths country including d highest mount in S. E. Asia n some of them numerous time) I really adored her cause at d age 30+ shes still going strong. She hv give me the inspiration to be active once again in outdoor activities. If she can do it then there is no reason why a healthy O.K.U like me  can do it. YEARGHHH CAYIOKX3

MALAYSIA

BOLEH, O.K.U PUN BOLEH!!!

Name: Suhaib @ G.U.S @ BonZeR @ BOY @ Handsome (Really 1 of d staff there call me by that name)

Codename: 004

Mission: Industrial training for 8 weeks (Would U take an O.K.U as a trainee? Yeah I should have guessed d answer)

Place : Johore Specialist Hospital (d same place where I received my treatment after d accident)
1st in command: Prof Ismail
2nd in command: Puan Ruwaidah
Task: 1. Learn about theory n technical clinical microbiology
          2. Get used 2 a microbiologist line of duty
          3. Learn how a hospital lab work

          4. Show 2 d world that I can still lead a normal life
          5. Tackle 1 of d trainee nurses (OPTIONAL….muahahaha)

Week 5 (5/6/06 - 9/6/06)

           This week is d most marvelous week so far since i started my practical trainiong. It all started with a suprise visit from our lecturer from UKM. Our unlucky lecture came way too early (b4 8am) and he have to wait 4 a while before d trainees n d lab staff report 4 work at 8.30am. N how do I reacted? Hehehe as d only ‘HUNK’ in d lab i hv 2 act COOL…. i mean act normal cause i think d purpose 4 his visit is 2 see how we hv been working as a trainee.

            By 9am d lecture n our lab manager visited the Microbiology lab, where ive been working. Oh! 2 my disappointment it was not Prof Ismail but Dr Zamri (P Ismail is my microbiology lecturer n ive been seeing him after my accident 2 get his advice on my practical training). But nevermind, its good enough they hv sent someone 2 visit us. K ill continue my report, 1st Dr Zamri ask my supervisor on how we were doing (me n syu) n kak Y replied that we were doing quite well….. we obey her instruction, willing to learn n give our fullest cooperation n always on time 4 work. Then suddenlyour Lab manger told Dr Zamri about my ‘current’ condition. I can see that it was kind of a SHOCK 4 Dr Zamri (I guess P Ismail never told him about me d ’special’ practical trainee). Dr Zamri ask kak Y on how im coping with all d lab work. N what kak Y hv said really gave me d MORALE BOOST that i urgently needed. She said i hv a STRONG WILL cause when she look at me n my disabilities, its kind of sad. Yes since i started my training, I never complained n never asked my supervisor 2 give me ’special treatment’ cause im an O.K.U. What i REALLY wanted is 4 for them to treat me like a normal person cause im determent that my disablilities wont get in my way of achieving my goals. N I strongly hold 2 my principle of ‘ A twist of FATE is not a reason for me to feel sad for the rest of my life and it is definitely not a reason to give up my DREAMS’. After that Dr Zamri n our lab manager left d microbiolgy lab but he told us he will have a talk with two of us later after he take a look at d other trainee Wan Qing. When he finally call d 3 of us into d discussion room, I entered d room with a high self esteem. We talk on our experience n how d lab staff hv been treating us. 2 me 4 d past 4 weeks it was a wonderful learning experience n d lab staff hv been very supportive. After about half an hour its time 4 Dr Zamri to leave cause he hv other practical trainees 2 visit n he told us we were d 1st on his list.

           N d joy continues on d second day of week 5. On that day kak Y gave us d practical trainee a big treat. Lunch at a a very, i mean VERY expensive restaurant. Actually she hv told us she want 2 treat us 4 a luch since last week, but i though it she will take us 2 a ‘gerai tepi jalan’ or just a mamak restaurant. I never expected she bring us 2 a 5 STAR restaurant. N whats more spectacular is they all ride in my new car (new 4 me lah). Now they can see with their on eyes how a 1 handed driver  drive. When we arrive they kak Y told us we can order what ever we want. But biasa la tak kan nk lawan tokey, so we let her choose d dishes. D dishes r : Steam Kerapu Fish Taiwan Style, Tom Yam, Fried Long Beans n when she ask if we want 2 add anything else….. hehe bukan selalu aku dpt makan kt tempat mcm ni so i ordered Sweat n Sour Chicken n Ice Kacang 4 my dessert. The other 2 trainees just  kept quite (lantak korang la,sapo malu2 dia yg rugi kekeke). N after finish ate all d dishes i can say what an excellent choice kak y n i hv selected n surely good food come with a heavy price tag. Never mind cause i wont hv 2 fork out event a cent.

         And how 2 end a fantastic week with people treating u for d rest of d week(except 4 Wednesday). Kekeke just my luck, my dicision 2 postpone my lunch break to 2pm on Thursday pay off when kak Oja pay 4 my meal when i hv lunch with her n kak Ani. It was also d same on Friday, kak oja gave all d lab staff n us d lab trainee nasi lemak each 4 a small majlis doa selamat held 4 her 2nd boyfriend (like me my 1st wife was a kancil n my 2nd wife is a kelisa, kak oja’s 1st boyfriend is a wira n her 2nd boyfriend is a brand new motorcycle)

          Wahaha im totaly feel happy by d end of d week. Got d boost that will help me 2 finish d remaining practical training, kenyang orang belanja. Oh yeah i think i hv started 2 get along with most of d lab staff. I n Wan Qing regularly get teased by d other staff n they also can take a joke from us espcially me. So im ready 2 finish my practical training with wonderful memories. 3 weeks left n im hoping it turn out just like this week =)

            

Name: Suhaib @ G.U.S @ BonZeR @ BOY @ Handsome (Really 1 of d staff there call me by that name)

Codename: 004

Mission: Industrial training for 8 weeks (Would U take an O.K.U as a trainee? Yeah I should have guessed d answer)

Place : Johore Specialist Hospital (d same place where I received my treatment after d accident)
1st in command: Prof Ismail
2nd in command: Puan Ruwaidah
Task: 1. Learn about theory n technical clinical microbiology
          2. Get used 2 a microbiologist line of duty
          3. Learn how a hospital lab work

          4. Show 2 d world that I can still lead a normal life
          5. Tackle 1 of d trainee nurses (OPTIONAL….muahahaha)

Week 4 (29/5/06 - 3/6/06)

           Sorry if i keep u all waiting…..im way behind schedule on my week 4 report. If i work 4 a newspaper or a magazine company my editor will surely SHOUT! at me….. arent in d mood 2 write (hehe writers also hv their ‘period’ time when ideas wont comes out) K enough of all this ‘merepek’.

            After a joyous weekend at PD, now its time to go back 2 work. This week i decided to focus on 1 section of d microbiology lab which is d safety cabinet section. So 4 d whole week i will be doing all d bacteria identification n bact culture. I think its better this way. Instead of switching work everyday between d safety cabinet section n d testkit section like we used 2 before. Because i tend 2 forget d things my supervisor taugh me if we keep switching our work everyday. Say what does my partner say about d new REVOLUTION : ‘x pelah tannya kak Y, kite ikut je’ (in a very BORING n LIFELESS tone….. do this girl hv any kind of emotions or feelings i wondered) Day 1 (mond) was a smooth sail cause d one 2 supervise me is abg Lan (d layback n d one who always covering 4 my ass if i done any mistake). When i work with him usually all i hv 2 do is finish what he had started (d bact identification n i only hv 2 proceed with d bact culture or other test kit which is required). But at d end of that day my left hand was aching….actually my whole body was in pain. Mayb d TUG OF WAR (tarik tali) i joined in on Sunday hv taken its toll (but it was worth it cause i showed my friends that a ‘one hander’ like me can still participate in a physical activities, although my team lost but it was a lot of FUN)   

         Day 2 on that day kak Y will b watching behind my back. She let me do all d bact identification 1st n she will inpect me later. N on that day i learned that it is not easy 2 identify a bact base only on its colony morfology (shape colour n texture). U may hv d theory knowledge but in REAL LIFE you need more then that. U need 2 have SKILLS…… skills??? (ko ingat nk masuk my Team k nak kena ade skills, u asked?) Yesss, we do need skill 2 determine if d numbers of bact grow on d agar plate is significant 2 cause diseases or not. D skill to identify if this bact is Pathogenic or just a Normal Flora (normal bact on our body that usually wont do us any harm) n so many other skills. N we ALL  d trainees r lacking of it…. cause u need 2 devoloped all this skills from experience. So i finally got d attention from kak Y that ive been craving 4 (NO! not that kind of attention…. its more of d intelectual type of attention. Aiyaa u all ni otak KUNING) how do i feel? A little stressed cause she can b pretty STRICT when traning an apprentice like me. But i prefer it 2 b that way cause im d hard headed type. If u dont push me i wont move n frankly, which type of teachers you still remembered untill this very day? D kind ones or d fierce n strict ones? (hehe im d later)

       Day 3 On this particular day, several of d lab staff was on leave (i guess cause of d long school holiday break) So instead of abg Lan, kak Y will b supervising me cause abg Lan will lend his hands 2 help at d biochemistry section. U know d saying that Practice Make Perfect? Hehe that day ill be doing just that cause kak Y insist me 2 redo a bact gram stain (colouring bact like we used 2 doi it in kindergarden har har har) cause d 1st stain: ’stain tebal sgt’, 2nd stain: ’stain lame sgt’ n d 3rd stain: ‘CANTIKKK’…..hehe im always like that, if i failed doing something ill do it untill im statisfied. This day also i wont b having my lunch on d usual time (1-2pm) cause i insisted 2 finish my work b4 having my break. Day 4 After doing it for a straight 4 days i think i got d hang of it. My bact culture now wasnt so messy like b4 n my gram stain also hv improved. Day 5 I was starting 2 built up my confident when….. my bact sensivity culture i done d day b4 ends up 2 b a mix culture (Arghhhh! i myself should know better that a sensivity test should b from 1 type of bact only) I hv dissapointed my supervisers n more important i hv dissapointed myself….. so i hv 2 repeat d test n that mean d patient hv 2 wait longer b4 d doctor can prescribed his/her antibiotics. Also that day i mess up by dropping a glass tube n it broke into pieces…..thank god abg Lan was d only eyewitness n he doesnt say a lot just: clean up d mess. Actually its not d 1st time i messed up 4 this week. Earlier on monday i dropped a part of a plastic shelf n some part of it crack, i hv appologised 2 its owner but i still felt guilty….. n my mind keep thinking that will i b in this sitituation if d accident never hv happened? I guess i never will know d answer but i hv 2 keep reminding myself 2 stay positive. Day 6 Hey! isnt this my day off n its d Sultan birthday. Why d hell im working on that day? Good question. Still remember last weekend i hv a 2 days off, actually my lab manager only granted me 1 day off n d other one i hv 2 ‘ganti’ on another day n i hv chosen this day. Never mind cause d Sultan birthday falls on our day off, we will get a free 1 day off d next day so i can hv my day off on that particular day. Not many of d staff work on Saturday so i brought along my mini compo so i cant listen 2 my kind of music instead of d jb fm i hv been hearing everyday since i started my practical training. Can ill do whatever i like that day….. No, cause kak Y hv appointed abg Shizal 2 ‘take care’ of me. Not many sample arrive so after our luch break we ended up chating with each other.

         Hmmm time fly so fast when ur busy with something, totaly d apposite feeling i hv a month ago (time felt like it crawling so slowly when u hv nothing 2 do at home) N now only 4 weeks of training left. Half part of my training now its over n how was my performance? I think 4 an O.K.U it was quite impressive but 4 a normal n healthy person : ‘biase je’. So imdeterment 2 improve myself cause i hv promised myself n who hv been reading my blog that i wont let my incapabilities 2 deter me from achieving my goal n that is beside d basic practical training i want 2 impress d people around me my family, lectures,supervisers, lab staffs, friends, d whole world n show 2 them that i can stand on my own 2 feet.      

Name: Suhaib @ G.U.S @ BonZeR @ BOY @ Handsome (Really 1 of d staff there really call me by that name)

Codename: 004

Mission

: Industrial training for 8 weeks (Would U take an O.K.U as a trainee? Yeah I should have guessed d answer)

Place :

Johore

Specialist

Hospital

(d same place where I received my treatment after d accident)
1st in command: Prof Ismail
2nd in command: Puan Ruwaidah
Task: 1. Learn about theory n technical clinical microbiology
          2. Get used 2 a microbiologist line of duty
          3. Learn how a hospital lab work

          4. Show 2 d world that I can still lead a normal life
          5. Tackle 1 of d trainee nurses (OPTIONAL….muahahaha)

         

Week 3 (21/5/06 – 26/5/06)

            Aiyaa really feel ‘malas’ 2 update my blog lorr….but 2 all my dedicated readers out there I hv 2 get it done =)…..a little lazy cause im pretty busy last week, don’t hv enough time, energy & courage. It all started with an unlucky Sunday….that day I have 2 work overtime cause d sample arrived at d lab just b4 5pm. I was hoping 2 impress my supervisor so I tell her I will get d job done even though she said I can go  home n finish my work tomorrow. N in d end I ending up destroying a test kit worth RM 500…. That’s d result if u tend 2 do

ur

work in a short pride of time n don’t pay attention…. WAHAHA (crying sound eh not laughing) I learn my lesson n now my 2 month allowances is down d drain.

            If that is not enough, on Tuesday I was sick with a fever. It started with just a flu while working in d lab during noon but when I arrived home my body temperature was quite high. After taking some medicine that night I lay down n after that was fast asleep. When I woke up d next day my temp hv came down but my body was still weak but I insisted 2 go 2 work n it was BAD decision…… I almost messed up 4 d 2^nd time in a week, cause my head felt like there was a football match in there, I accidentally drop several cultured agar. Luckily my supervisor wasn’t there n d only eye witness said it still can b used ( FUUHHH sek baik kalo x kering lg duit kawe) d next morning my body felt quite d same like yesterday so I decide 2 take d day off or I may ending up collapsing d whole hospital. On Friday they gave me simpler work cause I just recovered from my fever n I think there afraid I destroy something else. N i was quite happy they done that cause that day my mind can only think about d fantastic time I will be spending with my friends during d weekends (WOHOO! PD here I come)

            Hmmm…. Im still searching 4 d reason I felt sick? This week fever, last week diarrhea who knows what kind of obstacles I hv 2 go through next week….is it d nasty bacteria crawling in d lab, is it cause f d freezing temperature in there, or is just fate??? Whatever d reason is im not giving up easily cause IM A SURVIVOR n I hv proven it

Name: Suhaib @ G.U.S @ BonZeR @ BOY @ Handsome (Really 1 of d staff there call me by that name)

Codename: 004

Mission: Industrial training for 8 weeks (Would U take an O.K.U as a trainee? Yeah I should have guessed d answer)

Place : Johore Specialist Hospital (d same place where I received my treatment after d accident)
1st in command: Prof Ismail
2nd in command: Puan Ruwaidah
Task: 1. Learn about theory n technical clinical microbiology
          2. Get used 2 a microbiologist line of duty
          3. Learn how a hospital lab work

          4. Show 2 d world that I can still lead a normal life
          5. Tackle 1 of d trainee nurses (OPTIONAL….muahahaha)

         

Week 2 (13/5/06 – 19/5/06)

            Wohooo! All d lovely nurses, prepare urself cause D last ‘JANTAN TERMACHO DI SKUDAI’ have finally landed…..all by himself. Muahaha, yeah finally my dad hv give me d green light 2 drive all by myself 2 work. My first drive there was quite smoth…. But actually not 1^st cause I hv drive there b4 about a week earlier with my mom 2 prove 2 her that it can be done even though I can only drive with my left hand. So now I finally got d chance how do I feel? A bit frustrating cause d road was pack with cars on d morning rush hour (can u believe it 2 cover d distances of a few kilometers it takes more then 15 minutes……ARGHH n some stupid road users don’t even know how 2 give signals when changing lanes)…..sometimes its really gets on my nerve when suddenly someone cut in front of me (aku cucukz karang br ko tau betapa hebatnya skill aku….xpo sabor dorang x penah rase koma 3 hari sbb eksiden kot I always remind myself) Usually I arrive at my work place just b4 8 am, hv breakfast 1^st n after that report 4 work b4 830 am.

            This week kak wai let we do all d lab work by our self….maybe after observing us for 1 week, she felt quite confident n let us be independent. So I n Syu take turns: on d 1^st day this week I do all d culturing n she do all d lab test. D next day we trade places…..so its been like that 4 d whole week. But on Wednesday something bad happened….. I was struck down with diarrhea, adeiii my stomach is killing me. I started 2 feel d pain when I woke up that morning but I insisted 2 go 2 work thinking rubbing minyak panas will help 2 ease d pain. N driving under that condition was a HELL kind of an experience. By noon my body start heating up so I just ate bread n hot milo during my break n take a quick nap after zohor…..that helps a little. When I arrive home my body temperature was quite high, so i take a fever pill n went 2 sleep. When I woke up 4 solat magrib my body temperature came down a liitle n after I ate my dinner (suapan nasi pertama 4 that day) I went back 2 sleep cause I hv 2 woke up REALLY early…..no not 2 go 2 work or 2 finish my homework but 2 watch d big EUROPEAN CHAMPION LEAGUE match between 2 of my favourite football teams : ARSENAL VS BARCELONA……n d match ended with Barcelona beating arsenal 2-1 (I was hopping 4 d gunners 2 win but I guess there also no miracle in football)

            By d time 2 go 2 work my body temp was back 2 normal but my stomach still hurts a little….there’s only 2 possibilities where I cant get infected, 1^st from d food I ate on Tuesday(now I regally eat outside so d food is not as hygiene as my moms cooking) or from my work place(my work involve nasty bacteria such as E.coli n Shigella which can cause diarrhea) On this day also we d trainees was given d opportunity 2 watch a live demonstration on how 2 take bone marrow sample from a leuchimia patient…..it was kind of interesting cause I always wondered how d doctors put in d metal rods onto my injured hand b4. But it was not d same with 2 colleuge they look kind of shock maybe cause its they 1^st experience. On Friday there is nothing special, work faster cause we have 2 finish all our work by 1230. Oh yeah cause I hv been driving 2 work all by myself, now every 2 days I will go 4 a jog at a lake garden near d hospital b4 I went home.

            So theres my report 4 d 2^nd week since I started my practical. Only now I started 2 feel glad my dad gave me an automatic transmission car…..b4 I insisted he bought 4 me a manual car cause its cheaper n I feel quite lame driving an auto (b4 I though auto were only made 4 girls n d sissy boys) but after experience d frustration of driving in a traffic jam day in n day out only then I really glad I don’t hv 2 change gears 4 every 10 seconds. Also I started 2 get along with d other staff n hoping they will treat me as one of d staff there n not just some outsider who just passing by. K 6 weeks left of learning, relearning n making mistakes (but make sure u learn from ur mistakes)                     

This song is dedicated to everyone who turns  21 this year

"1985"

[Originally by SR-71]
[Ciplak by Bowling For Soup]
Woohoohoo
Woohoohoo

Debbie just hit the wall
She never had it all
One Prozac a day
Husbands a CPA
Her dreams went out the door
When she turned twenty four
Only been with one man
What happen to her plan?

She was gonna be an actress
She was gonna be a star
She was gonna shake her ass
On the hood of white snake’s car
Her yellow SUV is now the enemy
Looks at her average life
And nothing has been alright since

Stacy, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cuz she’s still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woohoohoo
(1985)
Woohoohoo

She’s seen all the classics
She knows every line
Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink
Even Saint Elmo’s Fire
She rocked out to wham
Not a big Limp Bizkit fan
Thought she’d get a hand
On a member of Duran Duran

Where’s the mini-skirt made of snake skin
And who’s the other guy that’s singing in Van Halen
When did reality become T.V.
What ever happen to sitcoms, game shows
(on the radio was)

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cuz she’s still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Woohoohoo

She hates time make it stop
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop
Stop!
And bring back

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cuz she’s still preoccupied
With 1985

Woohoohoo

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
Way before Nirvana
There was U2 and Blondie
And music still on MTV (woohoohoo)
Her two kids in high school
They tell her that she’s uncool
Cuz she’s still preoccupied
With 19, 19, 1985

Name: Suhaib @ G.U.S @ BonZeR @ BOY

Codename: 004
Mission: Industrial training for 8 weeks (Would U take an O.K.U as a trainee? Yeah I should have guessed d answer)

Place : Johore Specialist Hospital (d same place where I received my treatment after d accident)
1st in command: Prof Ismail
2nd in command: Puan Ruwaidah
Task: 1. Learn about theory n technical clinical microbiology
       2. Get used 2 a microbiologist line of duty
       3. Learn how a hospital lab work

       4. Show 2 d world that I can still lead a normal life
       5. Tackle 1 of d trainee nurses (OPTIONAL….muahahaha)

         

Week 1 (8/5/06 – 12/5/06)

          Day 1 start with waking up early: 6am….quite early if compared 2 my normal days n my head felt heavy, I cant sleep that nite cause of d anxiety. After finish packing, my dad sent me 2 JSH (although I can drive but my dad wasnt confidence that I can drive that far ~20km & heavy traffic). I arrive early, 7.55 to b exact n I hv 2 report in at 8.30. But I hv 2 wait longer then that cause d lab manager will only call me in when d other 2 lab trainee hv arrived. Ceh mayb they r not familiar with ths place like I do (been here since beginning of 2006) Finally at 9.30 they called me in n was introduced 2 d lab manager En adnan n d 2 other trainee…..also from UKM: Wanqing chin(biochemistry) n Syuhaida (microbiology! Why I haven’t seen her b4?) After d brief explanation on JSH n d lab we were introduced 2 d lab staff. Wanqinq start her training in d biochemistry department. While I n Syuhaida were left in d microbiology department n our SUPERVISOR is Pn Ruwaidah but they all call her Kak Y, there also another person working there : En Mazlan, Abg Lan 4 short. Another briefing ths time about d microbiology department by kak y. She also stressed on our mission here which is to learn n she make sure we do that, if not…..she may make us cry(hehe I would like 2 see that happen….even a severe bang on d steering wheel with my head haven’t made me shed a tear).

          So basically our job is when a sample(semua ade najis solid or liquid, urin, kahak, nanah….darah x yah cite le lg byk) arrive we hv 2 culture it and run medical test on it base on d doctor request to identify what kind of microorganisms is causing d problem……Sound simple eh but to see significant microorganisms growth u hv 2 wait at least 24h, then there is d risk of getting infected with life threatening diseases such as AIDS, dengue fever n so on. And YES a patients life is in our hands…. oh I almost 4got, we r handling machine that cost from hundred thousand to millions of ringgit n small test kit ranging from hundred to thousand of ringgit….hihihi hope I wont destroy anything like I destroy my BaBy. 1pm-2pm lunch break then back 2 work until 5pm….this is a private company, so u work until u drop.

         On my second day of LI kak y let us get our hands dirty n play with d sample…..arghh my right hand wrist is stiff n my left hand is not flexible as my  right hand so my 1^st streaking since 8 months is not pretty (xpa pelan2, lame2 blh le I told myself). I also got the chance 2 use some test kit such as d dengue kit that only take 15minutes 2 see d result…..5pm BALIK TIME but its raining heavily, so d usual half an hour drive take 3 times longer. On my third day I went 2 see Dr Zul (my usual orthopedic doc) n usually I hv 2 wait at least 30 minutes 2 see him but thanks 2 kak y I only hv 2 wait for 15 minutes b4 being call into his office. Dr zul run a test on me n d result was I can only bend my hand from 45 to 70 degrees(DAMN! Normal people can bend from 0 – 135 degrees or more) I also got my medical report that i requested n it reconfirm im an O.K.U (HEY!!! no matter how me myself, u or anyone else in this world hate 2 accept it, it’s a FACT…..So please, when I refer myself as an O.K.U im not trying 2 get ur sympathy or making a big deal out of it. I just accepting that’s a REALITY). After that I went back 2 d lab but I just cant concentrate on my work…..my mind keep flying out of control thinking about my future (ARGHHH what d HELL am i doing? I cant waste my time like this….NOW im trying hard 2 patch back my life together. There is no time 2 worry 4 d future, just take thing as It comes along n ill SURVIVE)

          Day 4 it quite d same as d days b4……sample culture, sensivity test n all kind of other test. But on that day I managed to torn down d walls that been separating me from my colleague Wanqinq. Hey life is much happier when u hv people 2 talk to. So on our lunch break we got d chance 2 know each other n share our knowledge. Now only 1 is left…..SYUHAIDA. Even though we spent most our time together, our name sound d same at d beginning (SUhaib n SYUhaida) n I think we both cannot pronounce d letter R correctly but we only talk a word or two that’s all…..its not like I want 2 ‘ngorat’ or something like that, it just so damn BORING when u sit in that room n just mind ur own business when actually we hv so many things in common. Maybe its bcause she’s d shy n silent type n I d adventurous n talkative type (totally  apposite of each other….but according 2 nature: APPOSITE ATTRACT! hehehe). Day 5 is d most waited day by all d trainee cause we only work 4 half day n d next day is our holiday!(Ahhhh minus d fact we hv 2 work on Sunday but that’s ok less traffic on d road) But that day we get less attention from our supervisor cause she busy finishing her work b4 1230pm. We help her a little bit n when all is done we went back home 2 rest b4 start training again on Sunday.  

          After almost about 1 week training I felt quite happy n lucky even though very tired. Happy because I got d chance 2 learn things b4 this I only read about n most of all d opportunity 2 b independent again although not fully yet. Lucky bcause d staff there is very supportive especially my supervisor….but thinking of it she is more like our mentor, she gave explanation, demonstrate 2 us, we can hv discussion with her and ask 4 her help. Very tired bcause we work from 830-5 n only 1 hour of break plus d half an hour drive 2 work n in private companies u cannot ‘LEPAK2’ like in a government department. So that’s all 4 now n there is still 7 weeks of training and learning left so wish me luck.   

Mawi sape x kenal jejaka ni, ahli politik kenal die, ulamak kenak die, rakyat mlysia kt oversea pn kenal die….Ada pendapat kate mamat ni mcm ombak besar ‘TSUMAWI’ yg melanda tanah air kite dan menhanyutkan hati2 gadis melayu. Ade yg minat die sbb rupanya yg RANGGI (mcm bola pn ad jgk tp ak pn penah terikut muahaha) Ade sbb suaranya yg dikatakan setanding lagenda P Ramlee atau Sudirman. Ada jg sbb perwatakannya yg sempoi dan lurus. Lagi ramai sbb ……imejnya yg ‘alim’ ( ye la mawikan johan Tilawah Al Quran dan dia nk perjuangkn muzik NASYID). Dan utk aku……I couldn’t care less….ak ambk tahu pn sbb 1 mlysia cite psl die.

            Ttp gosip yg melanda johan AF3 baru2 ni buat aku tertarik utk bagi sikit pendapat aku berkaitan dirinya…..APA? mawi pegi memancing dgn artis SIPOLAN??? ARGHH! x pecaya aku…..HAA? dahla pegi memancing pastu siap pegi hantar ikan kat rumah SIPOLAN tu??? Ni dh lebih, mawi ape mcm ni? Mawi $%$@!#@*&&*%…… Hehe pasti ra mai kecewa, hampa, geram dan bermacam2 lagilah dgn gosip terbaru yg melanda jejaka idaman Semelaya nikan (kalah gossip CT ngan Datuk K) Ade yg kate mawi x setia la, mawi main kayu 3 la dan lg teruk…. Kate mawi CURANG pd tunangnya.

            Ok, ok peminat mawi semua tarik nafas panjang2, lepasss….. rilek, ak bukan nk mengeruhkn lg keadaan tp nk berkongsi cerita psl member rapat aku Shin Chan (nama betul terpaksa dirahsiakn demi menjage privesi member ak ni) yg blh dikatakn kisahnya lbh kurang mcm mawi skrg ni jgk la. K al kisah….. si Shin Chan ni waktu kt kolej blh kate famous jgk la. Ye la pengerusi Persatuan beso kt kolej tu, bukan ada bakat memimpin je….shin chan ni jgk alim orgnya, selalu lepak kt masjid n siap kasi tazkirah lg tuu. Ditambah dgn muke yg blh dikatakn hencem la jgk, member ak ni mmg menjd IDOLA gadis2 di kolej…..ye la sape x nk bakal suami yg tampan dan soleh ye x? Tp harapan gadis2 tu semua punah, hancus dan berkecai apbl….. Shin Chan yg alim ni kantoi bercouple. Lps tu mcm2 tomahan dan kutukkan yg member ak ni dpt…. Ak pn mule2 HOT gak dgn die ni, ye la cakap x serupa bikin (dulu ajak ak serbu org dating berdua2an kt kolej….skrg ape cite???) Tp bile piker blk  x blh nk salahkn die 100%….. kalo ak pn diduga mcm tu….ramai aweks tergila2kn aku, maybe ak pn jatuh kecundang (alhamdulillah setakat ni belum lg) Dan yg betul2 buat aku sakit hati ialah kemana pegi peminat2 die yg dulu TAKSUB dgnnya, kemana pegi anak2 buah die yg dulu BANGGAKAN si shin chan dan yg penting kemana pegi rakan2nys yg dulu SEPERJUANGAN dgnnya?….member kite sdg diuji tu, pegi la tegur ke, tlg nasihat ke, tegah ke, apa2 la yg patut…..setakat ckp belakang, ‘KATAK’ pn blh. Dan aku….entahla, ak dh luahkn apa yg aku x puas hati (what is righ n what is wrong) setakat tu je yg aku mampu, nk dengar ke x tu lantak ko la…. Tp dlm mase2 genting mcm 2 org disekeliling kite la yg plg penting sbb aku dah alami cuma dlm btk ujian lain.

            So apa kaitannya kisah ni dgn Mawi? Ye la mawi mcm member aku, mcm kite semua x penah lari dr kesilapan. X guna korang kutuk dan maki die… ikan yg dh dimasak asam pedas tu x akn lompat blk masuk kolam/sungai/laut…..yg sudah lepas tu biarkn berlalu. Apa yg mawi perlukn skrg ialah petunjuk kembali ke arus yg BENAR. Kalo korang btl2 peminat mawi….pegi suruh die dn doakn die kawin dgn tunang die cpt2, abis cite. Dan utk member aku Shin Chan, kalo ko baca ni. Ak nk mtk maaf, tujuan aku bukan nk nk mengaipkan ko, mawi atau sesape pn. Niat aku ikhlas spy yg baik blh jd teladan dan yg burok jdkn sempadan. Tapi ingat Shin Chan! Jage batas2 pergaulan dgn awek ko, ak rase ko lg arif dlm bab2 mcm ni dr aku. Kpd mawi plk: Kalo ko x tahan dgn dugaan dunia hiburan, cr je la keje lain……Utk peminat mawi. Ada IDOLA yg lg WORLDDD dr mawi dan die x kan hampakn korang……hehehe bukan AKU tp Nabi Muhammad S.A.W contoh terbaik.                 

After about 5 month since d tragic accident that leads to d death of my beloved ‘BaBy’. Finally I have found LOVE once more…..WHO is it??? Hehehe this world is a small place after all eh? Over all d ‘GIRLZ’ in this world I have choose to pledge my love to my 1^st wife YOUNGER SISTER.

Although I shouldn’t compare my 1^st wife with d second one….but if we judge by physical appearances my new love surely have more SEXY curves on her body n she have rounder eyes. Yeah….you  should not judge a girl by her looks. Judging her from inside, this girl sure have a greater UUMMPHHH then my late wife. Just a little push n she do anything I say. She also have more LIFE in her…..HEY!HEY! I should not talk about my NEW wife in public. Hehehe all girls out there: hold your horses n don’t get upset with me. For who doesn’t know me really well you all may get confused….but actually im writing about a CAR here……WARGHAHAHA, like JJ n Rudy would say : GOTCHA!!!

Hehe…..ok back 2 reality. I got my new ‘LOVE’ for 1 month now. N she not new….cant afford new ones, so a second hand is good enough. She a 2001 1.0 cc model Perodua KELISA (don’t I have nightmares about small cars u asked??? Then should I just drive a HUMVEE or an ADNAN armored car….just 1 thing: SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!) Hey she may be small but just like my old ‘BaBy’ she have her strong points…..easy 2 park, nippy n responsive. As a 1 hand driver my new car must have AUTOMATIC transmission. Although she an auto but like I said b4 she have more UMMPHH, this is because she got a twin camp 3 cylinder engine as her heart. She also have power steering. What is her color ? Light brown……sound like an ‘old lady’ car eh? (it is an old lady car because d 1^st user was a 60 years old lady)….hehe under this circumstances I should drive like an old lady. No more tailgating (cucukz), no more suddenly changing lanes or taking a comer as fast as I could n I will NOT hold the record 4 d fastest custom made Kelisa. Then all d skills I obtained all this years is down d drain u said…..hehe don’t u 4get my ambition is 2 be d 1^st O.K.U F1 driver.

But I have to keep remembering myself 2 be patient on d road n RESPECT d road…..or if not, my life may REALLY END on d road. Ha! What im going to call my new car?…hmm cant think of one right now, but this time I think I want 2 add some local flavor into her. And 1 more thing, if somehow somewhere u can read this ‘BaBy’ ……. please don’t get jealous, cause you’ll always have a special place in my heart and don’t 4get u have left ur signatures on my body so ill ALWAYS remember u.( is this guy crazy you wondered….. Yeah! I am CRAZY…. Crazy for CARS. MUARGHAHAHAHA…)

Hey i feel close 2 kid rock right now….maybe it because both of us have mixed feeling…..Only God Knows Why…..So here u go my version of the song

I’ve been sittin here

Tryin to find myself
I get behind myself
I need to rewind myself
Lookin for the payback
Listen for the playback
They say that every man bleeds just like me
And I feel like number one
But now I’m last in line
I watch the tube
And it helps to pass the time
I take too many pills it helps to ease the pain
I got a couple of ringgit, but still I feel the same
Everybody knows my name
They say it way out loud
A lot of folks stare at me
It’s hard to hang out in crowds
I guess that’s the price you pay
To be some big shot O.K.U

Out strecthed hands and one night stands
Still I can’t find love

And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around

Yeah
As it…hey

And when your walls come tumbling down
I will always be around

People don’t know about the things I say and do
They don’t understand about the PAIN that I’ve been through
It’s been so long that i been staying at home
I’ve been home, I’ve been home for way too long
Maybe I forgot all things I love
Oh somehow I know there’s more to life than this
I said it too many times
And I still stand firm
You get what you put in
And people get what they deserve
Still I ain’t seen mine
No I ain’t seen mine
I’ve been giving just ain’t been gettin
I’ve been walking that there line
So I think I’ll keep a walking
With my head held high
I’ll keep moving on and only God knows why

Only God
Only God
Only God knows why, why, why, why
Only God…knows…why, why, why
Only God knows why
Take me to the river edge
Take me to the river, hey hey hey

Message 2 Kid Rock : Grow up man! you aint a kid anymore

Message 2 myself : You aint met 2 be a ROCK star….hehehe

        Pernah rase tangan anda ditarik sampai mcm nk tercabut??? Atau bengkokkn tgn anda ke arah bertentangan dgn arah normal??? AKU dh rase….pagi  tadi  pg jumpe tabib cina mtk tolong die repair tgn knn aku ni….ape problemnya? Xda menda cuma x blh nk diluruskan atau di bengkokkn sepenuhny…..puncanya: dislocated elbow.
       Sampai kt rumah tabib 2 pkl 9.30….hehe rumah biasa je tp still kn ambk nombor mcm kt hospital, n my number is 54 (woo jgn memain ngan apek ni…. patient die lg ramai dr doktor pakar kt hosptl) So kn la ddk bertenggek sampai die panggil nombor aku…..Waktu ni le ak perasaan ramai yg mcm aku rupanya ( u just name it, broken hand, broken leg, pecah kepara je yg xda)….One thing yg special about his treatment is u can watch it live, mcm tgk bola….xda cover2 dlm blk k, blkng kain k…..apek nie bantai je buat treatment die dpn patient2 lain…..Setakat ni ok la, xda yg terpekik k, pengsan ke…cuma 1 aunty ni je ak tgk air mate die meleleh lps treatment…..cuak gak ak krg die nak repair tgn ak yg dh jammed ni….ttp jantan melayu terakhir di Skudai mesti cool muarghaha.
        So finally is my turn…..apek 2 periksa tgn ak n gelengkn kepala, dia tanye dh brp lama jd cam2…..ak ckp dh 4 bln. Then dia pegang tgn kanan ak n cuba untuk bengkokkn….with pure force, xda pelan2….SUBHANALLAH, sakit sampai terbangun aku dr kerusi…lepas 2 die biar ak rilek jap (bapak ahh punye la sakit sampai tercunggap2 aku mcm br lepas sprint test dlm my team tu)….apek tu ketuk2 kepala aku suruh aku tahan sakit (ni beri encouragement ke amenda ni, lantaklh just get it over with) Mula balik….now he wants 2 straighten my hand….bayangkn la tgn ak dh 4 bln mcm tu, otot2 semua dh keras dia nk luruskn blk…..WaHaHaHa ke kiri ke kanan ak pegi nak tahan sakit…..mintak2 dh habis la treatment die, blh pitam aku kalo die buat camtu lg. Fuhhh…nsb baik….dia ambk bandage n balut tgn aku. Hehehe sakit mcm mn pun ak msh blh melemparkn senyuman bile ade sorang amoi ni asyik tenung aku dgn nada simpati waktu ak bjln keluar.
             Jadi my defination of PAIN is: something u must endure 2 gain back something u lost…..right now ill accept any kind of treatment 2 fully heal my right hand (doctors cant do anything right now so ill do it d tradisional way) like the old saying goes….. NO PAIN NO GAIN!!! Hmmm…makes me wonder this guy can fix broken bones….can he fix a broken heart to??? hehehe

Been looking into my folder n suddenly stumble into this poem. I had created it when i was in form 5…back then everyone been asking 4 more TIME cause SPM was just around d corner….YES this is my original creation, no ciplak or tiru in this one

TIME
Time ticks away,
For every second that passed,
Surely can’t be regained,

Seconds turn to minute,
Minutes turn to hour,
And 24 hours make one day,

We regret about the past,
But we dream of the future,
Sometime we begged for time,
Sometime we misspend our time,
Many lost in time,
A few controlled the time,

Whom maximizes his time,
Success awaits at the end of his path,
Whom failed to use his time,
Doom followed behind his back,

For each day that passes,
We become older,
Become wiser,
We learn new things in life,
And nearer to our finishline,

So make sure you use your time wisely,
Because just like every drop of our blood,
Time counts.

COPYRIGHT : BZR4 CORP

            Aiyaa I know it had been 6 months since we climb Mount Kinabalu but I thinks it is a shame if I don’t share my experience with all of u. So here it is :

 Indeed it’s a thing to be believe in, the power of human spirit. Ths is a story on how 49 people successfully conquer Mount Kinabalu not with their enormous strenght but wit their high spirit and motivasion. It all began on the 31 of August 2005 (a historic date 4 d country n 4 myself), d day we started our climbing from Tmn Kinabalu base camp. It was 9 am when we started moving but just b4 that I n 3 of d other participants was called by our guiders. eventually it is because we hv illness tht may prove fatal if we climb Mount Kinabalu. I, myself hv asthma and althought i havent hv a severe asthma attack for years and d fact that i trained hard to reduce it.
Still it makes me uncomfortable hearing that i may lose my life or critically injured myself in my conques to reach d top. After doing some thinking, i persuade myself 2 go on with d rest of d team. We all are divided into 4 major groups and each group are divided into smaller 2 groups. Each major group consist of 12-13 people with 5 men, 3  as a sweeper, 1 hold d 1st aid kit and 1 as a leader. Im with d last group which play a role as the main sweeper 4 d whole team. Along d route to labah rata they all are 7 pittstops or rest area and each pittstop to another is about 1 km far apart. The track partically was rocks and earth that lay like a long starcaise which are uneven, sometimes high n sometimes low. D 1st problem occur at checkpoint 2, when 1 out of d firstly 51 participant turn into semi parallised state caused by high altititude sickness where d lungs cannot breath normaly. Eventhought d others tried to persuade her to continue but she refussed and with that current state it was a good thing she did not. So a guider had to bring her down back to base camp and d rest of us make our way up d mountain. d rest of d journey to labah rata was quite fine with all 50 of us able to reach to our shack b4 3pm. Only a handfull of the participants which were all are girls hv trouble to reach there mainly because of lack of fitness, d high altitude and d low temperature. But with the help from d others, frequent ‘take 5′ and a lot of jokes along d way, i quess hv contribute to their success reaching labah rata on time. D activities at Labah Rata was to get as much sleep as possible and tried to eat as much maggi to regain strengh. At 5pm we all held a mast maggi cooking event and eat it together and after isyak prayer we all turn to sleep. I woke up at 12 am and go to d highest  toilet in South East Asia. A once on a life time experience easing urself with near freezing water hahahaha. After that we all refill our tummy again b4 we continue our climb at 2 am. Ohh, 1 participant cant join us cause she keep throwing up maybe because her body cant stand d temperature or d air presure.

                   The painfull climb to Low’s Peak started here with ths part of mount kinabalu became very steep that we need to use rope to climb it. It was peach dark and the only source of light came from our torchlight. Tiredness started to bite in into every one of us. Soo 4 now on u climb at ur own pace n not with ur group that we hv formed earlier. This had 2 be done because if not the weaker participants will slow down d whole group n d other thing is there is a limit 2 how many person can be at d highest peak at that particular time. So rather then we have 2 wait 4 our turn its better 2 let who can reach there faster 2 go at their own pace n reach d peak 1^st. Me myself at that time was having trouble…. My bag pack (only d boys carry bagpack which include food n drink 4 their group members) is dragging me down. Although I have lighten it when we stop at our shack but because d mountain is so steep, just 2 take a step forward is difficult. I was about 2 throw away my bagpack but thanks 2 my friend Cik Herda I still manage 2 carry d bag when she help me 2 carry d 1.5 litre flask which felt like it weight 15kg. Also at this moment d simpulan bahasa DEKAT DI MATA TP JAUH DI KAKI emerged. Yeah u can see with ur eyes clearly d peak but it felt like it take FOREVER 2 reach there. So I decide it is better 2 look down untill I reach d peak….After thousands or maybe millions of small steps I finally reach d highest peak in South Asia called Low’s Peak (I don’t know why d hell they give it that name cause it ain’t low) about 6 am. After taking several
snap I sit down n just let my emotion take over…Wow it really breathtaking 2 see d wonderful view from there….just imagine if u have supernatural eyesight u can even see peninsular Malaysia from there. D picnic at d highest spot in Msia was also amazing although we only had ‘roti kosong’ n hot milo but it was d best ‘roti kosong’ n hot milo I have ever tasted.

  Now its time 4 d gruelling task 2 climb down back 2 base camp. If only they had create a lif or escalator then after ‘separuh nyawa’ climb up 2 Mount Kinabalu peak we can easly came down….muahaha but I still can ‘bgolek’ down but surely I will have a problem 2 stop. Like how we climb up its quite d same 2 climb down : EVERY PERSON 4 HIM/HER SELF…. I stay back 4 a while n decided 2 join d group at d back. At this time a problem emerged….my knee was killing me. The constant strain on my knees when we r climbing down is 2 much….So rather then changing 2 a
higher gear like some of my friend I have 2 change into a lower gear n go slow. Some of us is 2 tired 2 even open their mouth 2 speak but aint me…I sing my way down 2 Labah Rata 2 take my mind of my painful knee n still how far it is 2 reach base camp. About 10 am I reach Labah Rata….After finish packing my stuff we all gather 2 hear instruction on how we going 2 climb down 2 base camp. So we were regroup n this time d weaker members were put in d last group with all d still enegetic sweepers. I was put into d second last group n there r only 2 boys in my team….So I hv 2 be d group leader while my friend Ijan who was struck down with a flu at that time d sweeper. So at 11.30 am we start our journey 2 base camp from labah rata n this time I decided 2 take off my sweather n wear only my t shirt althought its 10 celcius at that altitude (hehehe then what d use of my extra fat still left hanging on my body). Half d way down then it started 2 rain….aiya so we have 2 wear our rain cloth. As d 2^nd from behind group we also act as a sweeper so d weaker participants from d group infront of us that cant keep up with their group pace join us. I as d team leader choose d slow n steady method, we may go slow but we only stop at d pitstops n we decided 2 skip d last pitstop n walk straight 2 base camp. Exactlt at 5.30 pm we arrive at base camp….alhamdulillah althought we all r very, VERY tired we all came down safely. So d morale of d story is u may b phisically unfit but if u have ur friends by ur side helping u, giving u a hand or just cheer u on 2 lift ur spirit n made u mentally n emotionally stronger, then climbing Mount Kinabalu is not imPOSSIBLE….BELIEVE me I say this base on my experience…..Hey maybe we can even climb Mount Everest….who knows? 

     After my tragic accident 4 months ago, i hv finally accepted it is my destany n i hv accepted it as fate. So im relearning things i had learn 4 d past 21 years in just 2 months time. Unbeliaveable….. BELIEVE IT. Such example is learning how 2 write with my left hand….Yeah, thing kids in kindergarten do….but 2 write fast n neat is not an easy task….easy if u think doctor’s handwriting is pretty.
      I also hv 2 relearn how 2 play my favourite sport…..BASKETBALL. Dribble with 1 hand…thats acceptable….but throw a ball n sink it in d basket with 1 hand thats pretty hard….HEY! if it is ur passion, you ‘Just Do It’. I just hv 2 change d way i throw….if b4 i throw a 3 pointer with my right hand while my left hand hold d ball, now i just have 2 do it d apposite way. Hey if SAKURAGI HANAMICHI can b a basketball star in just 3 months time, then its not a big problem 4 me….like what he say u need only 1% talent n 99% effort 2 be a STAR.
      Beside that, i also have 2 remaster d art of cooking n driving….Thats not hard because i used 2 drive my ‘BaBy’ with 1 hand….1 hand holding a drink n d other 1 d steering….muahaha. N cooking…hehehe i hv been doing that even b4 my ‘antena’  was  taken out  from my right hand…. Hei  just tell me what  ur stomach been craving 4 n ill cook it 4 u, it just messier n takes a longer time 2 prepare d dish….hey maybe it is worthwhile 2 skip school n hv 2 cook 4 myself during my primary days…kekeke. Oh i almost 4get, i also hv been traning hard 2 gain my stamina back n 2 maintain my ‘perfect’ figure (hey i aint going 2 spend a week in d hospital again just to lose 8kg of my weight)…jogging once every 2 days, if d weather allowed it…n 2 achive my target faster somestime dogs chase me ( cehh there r just 2 many here n d stupid owner dont even care 2 tie their dog…ak sepak sampai mampos karang naye je)
      WHY im insist 2 do all of this??? Why cant i wait 4 my right hand 2 fully heal?….Yeah 4 how long??? 1 year, 4 years, 21 years or….FOREVER….Waiting is 4 WIMPS….n yes there is still hope, but hopes  r uncertain plus d fact that miracles  happen once in  a zillion…..SO then just praying n hoping…i also have taken d neccesary steps 2 prepare myself 4 d WORST….that my right hand will never became like it use 2 be….Even d doctor hv told me that what i hv acomplished now is a lot n more then this, thats a bonus (2 achieve this i hv 2 exercise my right hand everyday by pushing it limits : try 2 bend my arm n straighten it untill i felt a slight pain went trought my body like electric current run trought my body n i still doing it right now) ….IF I BECOME A PERMANENT O.K.U…I will become a succesfull one. D 1st O.K.U 2 climb Mount Everest….d 1st O.K.U F1 driver or more GEMPAQ d 1st Malaysia O.K.U PM…..D world is waiting 4 me n all of u 2 conquer it…so dont look down on yourself or at any of d O.K.U out there because we may need ur help but we never want ur sympathy !

Hey when u have di tegur by malaikat  MAUT u know how meaningful Friendship r….. d ones who always by ur side when u most need it…To all my close friends thank u for being there 4 me, helping me 2 get  back on my feet…..This is my pleadge  2  all of them n im sure its d same with  them…. if u  really  look  into d lyrics  u can understand….Friend 4 EVA.

"Ever The Same"

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn’t tell you but I’m telling you now

Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart
Just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it’s cold and we’re scared
And we’ve both been shaken
Hey, look at us
Man, this doesn’t need to be the end

Just let me hold you while you’re falling apart
Just let me hold you and we’ll both fall down

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me
Forever it’s you
Forever in me
Ever the same

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you’re no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I’ll not forget
But I can only give you love

Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I’ll be there for you and you’ll be there for me
Forever it’s you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same(Ever the same)

hmmm… at 3 in d morning listening 2 this song almost (almost haaa) made tears fall down from my eyes….but what d shame of crying 4 d true meaning of friendship

Name : Suhaib @ G.U.S @ BonZeR
Codename : 004
Mission : Survive outside of d comfort zone of my home for 1 week (sound easy eh? but u try it with only 1 functional hand)
Place : Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia
1st in command  : Dad
2nd in command : Mum
Task : 1. Deal with UKK 4 d Ta kaful claim
          2. Meet Prof Ismail to discuss about my industrial traning
          3. Made new matric card
          4. Go to HUKM
          5. Meet mystery person

          6. Deal with UP 4 my occommodation next semester

Day 1 (19/3/06)
1250 - 1st n 2nd in command drop me off at UKM. After checking  my room(setinggan d kolej A la ape lg) 4 this mission i went 2 meet my teamates
1305 - Arrrived at ukm soccer field. They just finished their ’sukaneka’ n i was just on time 4 d hamper opening ceremony. hehe who doesnt like free food. Oh yeah n d crowd go crazy when they see me, especialy d girls….feels like mawi la plk.
2030 -  Went to see my mission operation center (biliik UPSM). Wow it really had changed….with new pc (now they have 4 back then only 2) n n ew round japanese table.
2300 - My batch mates give me a treat at d nearest Mapley….We eat, talk n laugh n laugh n more laughing….huii senak perut kawe dh lame x bantai gelak cam2….my friends can make a joke out of everything including my accident.

Day 2 (20/3/06)
0115 - Go back 2 my room n my stomach is killing me….. aiseyy gue ni dh alergik dgn mskn mapley k?
0240 - Went to SLeeeEEEEEeeeeepz
0630 - Wake up 4 my subuh prayer n after that wash my dirty cloth single handedley (i mean hand washed with only 1 hand)
0930 - Went 2 d operation center, hv breakfast, read newspaper, godek2 pc
1030 - Went 2 UKK 2 ask about d takaful claim procedure. N this what they told me : adik kena isi borang dan bawa dokumen ini, itu, itun, iton n byk lg le….when i told them im going 2 HUKM, they told me 2 get refer n gerenti letter from Pusat Kesihatan….Arggh!!! additional task
1330 - My friend finally gave back my matric card….She b using it so his boyfriend who looks like d ‘old’ me but not as handsome as d ‘current; me can enter UKM. So task number 3 is aborted
1530 - Went to PK 4 d new task. Akak at d counter told me i hv 2 see d doctor 4 d refer n gerenti letter (cehh ak dh naik muak tgk muka doktor). So i go n see d doctor n then he said i  hv 2 see d  PK  Boss….argghhh whats up  with all this bureaucracy - 1 of d things i hate about mlysia. because he is not in his office i hv 2 see him tommorow morning
2130 - A friend sent me to college B, d place im going to spend d nite (best gak setinggan ni blh lpk mn2 ak suka :P)
2200 - Meet all my friends over there n after that went 2 sleep

Day 3 (21/3/06)
0815 - Went 2 PK again 2 see PK taiko….
0845 - I was finally called into his office (Cehh just 2 see him i hv 2 wait for 30 minutes) When i told him why im there he then explain 2 me from A to Z on how d claming system in UKM works. N finally i cant even get a cent from UKM 4 my treatment this semester n he told me there is no previlage  in HUKM 4 UKM students (name j HOSPITAL UKM) So task number 4 is also aborted
0930 - Went back 2 college B 2 get some shut eye, i went 2 sleep very late last night
1430 - Go 2 Prof Ismail room 2 see him but he is not there (Ceh call hp off, sms x lyn, dtg bilik ko xda plk) So i went 2 my last operation center (blk PMFST) Meet my friends there….quite d same like last semester. Hmm new faces in d organization
2130 - Went 2 blk UPSM borak2, belek pc, tgk tv (rncg realiti my team kat tv3 best gak)
2330 - Go back 2 my room in college A to sleep

Day 4 (22/3/06)
0915 - Call Prof Ismail….ahh its ringing…n he answered it!!! (its not easy 2 get ur call through or answered with ths guy) He said he will b in his room ths morning.
0930 - Arrive at his room. I introduce myself n told him i want 2 discuss about my LI(Lthn Indstr)He give me some suggestion either 2 do it next semester (mid april- june) or do it when i enter my 3rd year. He gave me d realty check tht i needed, that im not like before d accident n he urge me 2 find a work that use more of my brain instead of my hands
1030 - Went 2 UPSM room n gave a big thought about wht my lecture just said….arghh i must improve my pointer or i  will never become a postgrad
1430 - Went 2 UP 2 ask about my occommodation next semester n im hoping i will b send into a college tht is near my faculty
1800 - After I finish my tea time meal with my girlfriends (kwn2 perempuan ye) we all went 2 Warta 2 do some shopping. My friends is going 2 held a birthday party tonight so we need 2 buy all d junkfood needed 2 made a succesful party. Wow… ths girls really know how 2 shop ha (beli itu, beli inilah…mamppuih la sapo jd laki korang muarghaha)
1830 - Still not done shopping so i silently slip away 2 buy d present 4 my friend who will turn 21 tht day n 4 d mystery person im going 2 meet d next day.
1900 - Finally they finish shopping n we all went back 2 UKM
2130 - Went to bilik UPSM 4 d bithday party. 2 my shock it was not held just 4 one person but all who was born in d month of February n March….thats include me =) So they all sang d birthday song 4 us n then we cut d birthday cake together. After we all ate…its time we all waited 4 except d birthday girl….OPEN TABLE time  (its when d birthday boy/girl hv 2 answer wht ever question thrown at him/her)
2230 - Finally my turn came n d question is : Bayangkn jejaka yg anda minati berada dihadapan anda dan anda sedang btentang mata dgnny. Ap akn anda ktkn kpdny…x krg drpd 30 pth pkataan…HAR HAR im pretty bad eh? Ths is 1 reason why im glad im not there in UKM  when i turn 21 back then in february. It may sound cruel 2 u guys but me n my UPSM friends r like a family n we shared everything.
0115 - Went back 2 my room 2 rest

Day 5 (23/3/06)
0900 - Went 2 see college A principal 2 ask him if i can stay in his territory next semester. Althought i hv told him about my current condition  he still refuse 2 accept me with an excuse they hv selected d occupants 4 next semester n he felt guilty if he hv 2 reject 1 occupant just 2 let me in. Ceh then whts d use of giving me d simpty face
0935 - I hv 2 walk all d way  2 college U n I to ask if they can accept me next semester. N all d sweating is 4 nothing, both d principals were not in their office.
1030 - Lepaking at UPSM room, killing time b4 i go 2 midvalley 2 meet ths mystery person….Aduh  i hv 2 go there all by myself bcause  none of my friends is free tht day
1300 -  Arghh its 1pm already n there is no one who can sent me 2 d commuter station….im sure going 2 be late.
1315 -  D real owner of d room i been staying called me….he ask d key 2 his room, thank god! u r my saviour i told him n i ask him 2 sent me 2 d commuter station
1415 - I receive a sms from d mystery person asking if i hv arrive or not….Almk im still in d train,so tht person hv 2 wait another 20 minutes untill i arrive
1435 - I finally arrived at midvalley n went 2 d spot we promised 2 meet
1442 - I arrive 1st so i hv 2 wait
1447 - Suddenly a person ask me if im Suhaib…..So is this d mystery person i ask myself (ok ok i know u all must b tired with all d mystery person ni kan, actualy dia my old friend who i havent met 4 a long time n nameny Triple H…name btl?? aihh x mesteri la lg kl mcm 2 hehehe) We talked n then go 2 nearest fast food stall (my stomach is plaeding 4 me 2 feed it, i havent eat nothing but roti kosong)
1452 - Arrive at Mc D (budjet xda sem ni JPA x msk) after ordering we talked,talked n talked. Oh yeah i gave Triple H d unidentified item
1525 -  Its been 3 years since d last time i came here. So i ask Triple H  2 show me around. We walk while we got 2 know each other, trying 2 catch back all d time we had lost.
1705 - Perghh ths place is huge n its asar already but we still havent see all of it. I think today is not d day i conquered midvalley. So we went 2 d nearest surau 2 pray. Aik ths place is so big but they can only built a surau tht can occomodate 5 people???
1730 - While busy chating with Triple H suddenly my hp start 2 ring (sapo ni kacau daun btl la) Almk!!! its my 1st commander, ni mesti nk laporan harian….Ape ak nk ckp ni….xpa2 rilek, trk nfs, ur cool man u can do ths i told myself. So with lafas bismillah i answered d call n here r d conversation….

Dad : Akum, mcm mn chat
Me : Walaikummusalam, alhamdulillah chat
Dad : Ap bsg2 tu, ni kt mn ni?
Me : (aisehh kantoii kawe…) Ha….errr….kt midvalley
Dad : HA! midvaley buat ap kt sane?
Me : Xda sj jln2
Dad : Dengan sape? Sorang je k?
Me : Ha?… ade la bbrp org ( im not lying, more then 1-including myself- is bbrpkn =P)
Dad :  K jg diri  elok2
Me : Ok bye…

enf of conversation

actually d call is normal n my dad used 2 call me everyday during my mission but ths time its a secret mission tht why im kinda of panicked….so back 2 my mission report

1805 - Its time 2 say goodbye 2 my old friend n i start my journey back 2 UKM.
1813 - D commuter arrive but it was packed with people…. So i have 2 stand 4 half of d journey untill their was an empty seat….Cehh they should reserved seats 4 people like me
1900 - Arrived at my room, after cleaning myself n magrib prayer i went 2 sleep
2230 - Went down d stairs 2 UPSM room, hang out a while over there b4 my friend sent me 2 college B where i spent d night there

Day 6 (24/3/06)
0834 - Went 2 see Dr Kadderi d principal of college B. We talk n he promise 2 take a good look at my application. That was good enough 4 me (insyaallah i get a place there)
0930 -  Went  2 blk PMFST my apprentice wants 2 meet me. She want 2 ask about all d work i use 2 do….So we hv a good discussion n i gave her a few pointer (yg lain bljr sendr, lmk la ak nk ajr semua)
1007 - Went back 2 college 2 rest b4 solat jumaat
1315 - Solat Jumaat
1520 - A friend sent me 2 UPSM room. Seniors going 2 held a trial activity 4 us
1612 - D activity start. D mission 2 acomplish is 2 built a tower using pvc pipes n ropes.
1705 - Still cant get d tower 2 stand still, its just keep moving
1735 - Mission accomplish (whats d secret hehe u hv 2 try it 4 urself 1st)

1815 - Go 2 d volleyball court…..im not going 2 play, just watch my friends play….Aiyaa 1 more thing i cant do right now but wait when im fully heal, ’spike guna tgn kiri tu haha’….although i feel jelous see my friends play but it was fun watching them play not only with thier hands but also their mouth hehehe…

2226 - Went 2 UPSM room…lepaking

2337 - Went 2 mampley with d others. Eat roti canai while watching spiderman 2

0040 - Head back 2 my room 2 sleep

Day 7 (25/3/06)

1000 – Went ‘lepaking’ at UPSM  room

1230 – Feel tired n sleepy so when back 2 my room 4 a quick nap

1500 – When back 2 UPSM room, d juniors already in d bus 2 go 2 HPA. Ceh there is no one who can sent me 2 HPA.

1530 – My friend Qoi came n i ride with him 2 HPA

1540 – Arive at HPA n d juniors hv just started 2 built their UPSM tower

1613 – D juniors 1^st tried wasn’t tht successful…..their tower ws rejected because it does not fulfill d task given

1828 – Still haven’t get it right but their were pretty close until they tried 2 connect d last pvc pipe n it broke into pieces. So we gave them a break to perform d asar prayer

1932 – Finally they manage 2 built d UPSM tower according 2 our demands

2130 – Ceramah by Brother Bob

Day 8 (26/3/06)

0001 – We let d juniors sleep while we discuss who will take part in d next activity

0100 – We wake up d juniors 4 d awaited events (ths is d main activity to see if d juniors r fit 2 be called d new batch)

0217 – They still cant get d message we r trying 2 give 2 them

0329 – Finally they get d job done

0412 – Time 2 get some shut eye

0700 – Tying d knot among d new batch

0815 – Conclusion

0921 – Time 2 say goodbye 2 all my friends but b4 I left my batch mates perform all kind of LDK games 4 me. Although now I cant perform all of it but watching my friends do it is satisfying enough.

0933 – I left them 4 now but im sure I b coming back soon (insyaallah)

1307 – 1^st n 2^nd commander arrived from seremban 2 pick me up.

1327 – After finish packing I say goodbye 2 my roommate Pejal n I went back 2 my home

So that’s my report 4 my 1^st mission impossible, u can say what ever u like : tht im making a big fuss about it or I just plain crazy……But 4 me it brings a whole new meaning 4 my new life….Now I know I still cant survive in UKM even though im in ths current condition…..now I know I will always hv d support n backing from my fellow friends……So I like 2 take this opportunity 2 say my greatest thank you 2 all my friends who had helped me going from A to B(usually d mode of transportation is a motorcycle n sometimes without a helmet[x serik2 ak ni]- my mum  will kill me if she know about ths), d people who gave me a treat, presents n d words of encouragement n motivation or simply just gave me a smile………THANK YOU……now im starting 2 understand d true meaning of ‘Gerak Bersama’ Aa! How can I 4get about my parent…without their blessing n money I wont be able 2 complete d mission at all

How was my performance u asked? Hmm I did finish all d task given 2 me….I guess u guys out there b d judge…..out of 5 stars how many star do I deserve….hehe this is a REALITY show u know….maybe im d next MAWI in d making…..So until my next mission…….WORLD!!!   

It has been 3 months since my accident, and during that time i never felt so worthless and disappointed…..with myself. Just got home from d hospital n d doctor told me d thing that i never would want to hear…..that my right hand will never heal back like it used 2 be……SHITTT!!! Then i just should 4get about my passion 4 outdoor activities, basketball n cooking…..wait i still can cook but with twice d effort, energy n time it needed b4. Im at d lowest point of my emotion right now…..feel useless it like u r at d highest peak of ur life n this happen or ur leading a race n suddenly u fell down n become d last person in d race….im used 2 b very independent, im d type who doesnt like 2 ask 4 help….n now i cant even scratch some parts of my body…..DAMNIT!!! Why this is happening 2 me…….WHY ME??? Maybe is 1 way to repay 4 my bad deeds, yes i admit there is many mistakes i have done in d past that i wish it never happened…..i was pretty naughty back then, but i try 2 change…..at least i have tried……even though of taking my own life, but im not that stupid n im not going 2 die as a KAFIRRUN……

I remembered i once met this old indian lady in d hospital….we talked n she told me when i was in coma my spirit was knocking on heaven’s door n im on my way to depart from my body 4ever….but then suddenly God hear voices calling 4 me…..n she told me that were d prayers  from my family…….n because God cannot stand all d noise, God sent my spirit back to my body and i was given a 2nd chance….although i dont belief what she said but she got a point there…….that i still have my family, who love me very much, who cares 4 me, who have hopes 4 me……n  how could i 4get about my friends, who were very supportive n had given me all d encouragement i needed…..that doesnt include all my girlfriends….hehe just joking….So what d use of crying 4 d things u could not have or d things u lost…..just b gratefull 4 things u already have  that maybe someone else doesnt have…..HEY!! i can still walk, not like im paralyze or something….i can still see this beautiful world ALLAH had created, i still can hear d birds chirping when i woke up in d morning….there are so many things 2 be thankful  4….it just u forgot about it or u just dont realize.

One thing is 4 sure, im d hard headed type that doesnt give up easly untill i get what i want……so u guys just wait n see im going 2 do things that normal people can do AND im going 2 do it better then them. Thats my promise 2 myself, 2 all who r reading this n to d WORLD!!!

Here is another song that is very related to me. Untitled by Simpe Plan. So this is to all my fans out  there (especially d  germs n bacteria in d toilet) this song is dedicated to u guys. I LOVE U ALL….WORLDDD!!!

I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

If i have d chance 2 enter malaysion idol(more like idiot) or AF i will sing d song Unwell from d band Matchbox 20. Never heard it b4? then u better go n see my profile, i had put it there. Why i choose this song? Well it match me d most at this moment. Here r d lyrics(with some modification), then u know what im talking about.

All day staring at d ceiling,

Making friends with shadows on my wall (hell yeahh!! its damn boring staying at home 4 ths whole semester)

All night hearing voices telling me

That i should get some sleep because tomorrow might be good 4 something(really? i got enough of sleep already: 10-12hours, what else there is 2 do???)

Hold on

Feeling like im headed 4 a breakdown

And i dont know why

But im not crazy

Im just a little unwell

I know right know u cant tell

But stay awhile n maybe then ull see

A different side of me(more 2 different side of my face, now im just like d super villain 2 face)

Im not crazy

Im just a little impaired

I know right know u dont care

But soon enough ur gonna think of me

And how i used 2 be(used 2 b like mawi with my mawi like hair har har har)

Me im talking 2 myself in public

Dodging glances on d train(its really true some malaysian do give that strange look, like im a freak or something)

And i know

I know they all been talking about me

I can hear them whisper(especially d kids, makes me want 2 cubittt je those kids)

And it makes me think there must be something wrong

With me

Out of all d hours thinking

Somehow ive lost my mind

But im not crazy

Im just a little unwell

I know right know u cant tell

But stay awhile n maybe then ull see

A different side of me

Im not crazy

Im just a little impaired

I know right know u dont care

But soon enough ur gonna think of me

And how i used 2 be

Ive been talking in my sleep (while in coma YES during normal sleep NO)

Pretty soon they come to get me(d doctors n surgeons r coming)

Theyre taking me away(to d operation room i think)

But im not crazy

Im just a little unwell

I know right know u cant tell

But stay awhile n maybe then ull see

A different side of me

Im not crazy

Im just a little impaired

I know right know u dont care

But soon enough ur gonna think of me

And how i used 2 be

If  d unexplainable happen n i enter malaysian idol or AF please vote 4 me. hehehe

A minute of silence pleazz, as a show of respect 4 my cute n lovely baby which died on 15.12.2005.

My baby died bcause of fatal injuries 2 her head. Who did it???? ME  of course, surely not on purpose. It happened in d evening about 6pm on that dreadful day. I was on my way 2 banting from UKM bangi 2 send my friend home. About 5 km from banting town I kind of fallen asleep… u guys can predict what happen next can u??? BANG!!!!  A head on collision with a lorry used to carry palm oil. D front side of my kancil was a total wreck especially d right side and front right side door came off. Now my baby had been lied down in a scrap yard metal shop somewhere in banting.

How about me ahhh just a severe wound on d right side of my face n I broke my right hand. Plus 3 days of coma in d hospital. A small price 2 pay thinking how lucky I am still 2 be alive. Now im resting at home for a long period of time, I dropped my studies 4 this semester. How can I write Im a right hander. So b4 I am healthy again n b4 I get my  2^nd ‘baby’ this is my message 2 all drivers out there : don’t drive when urtired, sleepy n emotionally unstable.

Tahun ni raya aku bosan, hambar serta hampeh……KENAPA???? Sbb rya kl ni aku blk kpg nenek aku kt melakau 1 hari je( opss silap 6 jam je 12pm-6pm) KENAPA lg korang tanya????? Sbb thn ni adk ak ambik SPM so nak pastikan dia prepare btl2 parents ak x ks blk kpg lama2. Ak x slhkn sesiapa cm kesal dgn diri sendiri KENAPA?????KENAPA????? dan KENAPA????? Sbb ak x mghayati erti sebenar 1 Syawal wlpn ak dh sambut 21 kali (lebih kurang la…)B4 ak selalu merungt kalo blk kpg lama2 especially time raya cause ak rindukan pc, tv, peti ais, keta yg ada kt rumah (tipikal generasi zmn skrg, sorry la kl salah tp ak rasa ramai yg mcm aku). Dan thn ni ak dpt bry dgn semua benda 2, jd sepatutnya ak gumbira dengan segala kebendaan 2 semua TAPI sebernanya X. Ak rindukan hiruk pikuk di kampung, kemesraan saudara-mara dan terutamanya SUASANA Hari Raya. Kini semuanya tlh berlalu yg tiggl hanyalah kekesalan iskh isk. So kpd mereka2 yg x suka blk ke kampung ambil la kisah ini sbgai tauladan. Remember d greatest moments in life can only b enjoyed  when u shared it with ur love ones n that is ur family.

If there is anything in this world that I wont trade for anything else for after my religion and family is the days I had spent in SAMURA. My years there had given such a big impact that I wont be the same person I am today if not for it. In SAMURA that I had learned to be self dependent, to socialise, I became more tolerant, obedient, and also it had changed the way I look about life itself. Not forgetting the bundle of knowledge I gain from my teachers.\

Almost all of my great, joyous, funny, interesting and crazy moment in life took place there. Such case is when me and the fellow boys play a game of  hide and seek in the school compound at 2  in the morning. I couldn’t forget the suspense and thrills it had  gave. In SAMURA also I befriended with interesting people, some are extra genius, over-funny and also strictly ‘skema’ and until today I still apreciacite there friendship. Honestly I would said lo live a happy and joyous life in a boarding school friends are the most essential ingredient. Cause we do everything together, from studying and even to bathing. This is why the principle of ‘All 4 1 and 1 4 all’ have play an important role in my life.

Teachers, talking about them, SAMURA have the most dedicated, supportive and loving teacher I had ever met. Even thought some can be very fierce such example was the forever green Miss Fatimah, Big taiko Mr Radzi and loud voice Puan Sarimah (history teac). But actually they all are very kind and had helped  me a lot to past my SPM exam with flying colours. Some of the torment that I still remember was being force to stand outside of the class for 1 and half hour and my neatly comb hair being  coloured with writing chalk (kapur) because I fallen asleep during classes. But  then I realise it was all mend to teach me so ill become a successful person not only in my academics but also in my curiculars activities.

Last but not least what had made SAMURA such a great school is it’s location itself. Stretch on a wide and flat land in Tanjung Agas Muar, the student never have to climb hill or stairs except for the ones in the school and hostel building.. Samura is also blessed with so much land that it had 2
soccer filed and a few smaller one’s. So there is enough space for all kind of sports to be played spontaneously during ‘riadah’ time. This maybe why the MSSD Muar had always been held in Samura. Because  Tanjung Agas  is not quite far from the sea, samura students enjoys a pleasing, relaxing breeze that made outdoor activities not so torturing even at blazing  3 p.m. Rains also poured down accansioly usually in the morning and evening that  had turn the word sleep to a whole new meaning. The school is also  just a 10 minute bus ride form Muar town (if there are no traffic jam at muar old bridge). Muar town despite being and old town is far from the term cowboy town. It have everything you just name it, delicious+cheap+various type of food, a complete all kind of comic and magazine bookstore, and entertainment outlet (cybercafe,cineplex,arcade) that are very important for teenagers.Even more generous Muar has it own couple attraction spot- a park by the sea called Tanjung Emas. So what more can u ask for? This is why outing is a waited event every week by the students.

Although there are still some loses when I was studying in SAMURA such as my 15kg of extra fat (the side effect of ruby training everyday for 6 month), my smooth and fair complexion skin (cause by severe KRS marching training at 3p.m.) and keep repeating missing of toilet slippers and cloth (will happen to every student especially boys). But it all was just a small portion if  its compared to all the great  experience I had in SAMURA. If I can flop my SPM exam and the school admentraties let me repeat my form 4 and 5 there, I will surely be happy to have done that. Till this day and for the days to come, Sekolah Menengah Sains Muar will always have a special place in my heart.

I first saw her about 5 years ago. She was the small and cute type with greenish eyes and small lips. She is hardworking and very reliable, maybe she got this trait from her japanese mother. From d 1st day I knew she and I were met for each other……Girlfriend??? What d H*ll, im talking about my 1st wife here. My 850cc 2000 model kancil. Ok back to reality, i got  her last year with a brand new paint job : metallic green(original colour). Just gave her a new set of rims….cover rims to be exact, hey! hey! give me some credit here. its hard enough to maintain a car while stdyg, sport rims cost me 1000 bucks were d heck im going to get that much mny. A full face lift (new F n R bumpers + side skirt + spoiler) = RM700. So than wasting my mny on physical appereances its better i give her a new breath of life, a 1.0 daihatsu mira engine + supercharger mayb. Then my ‘baby’ can challenge Takumi E86 (in my dreams). Big dream 4 a small car eh?

Talking about our experiences there much me & my baby have been trough together. Just a month after i got her my baby had to learn how 2 swim. Recklessly but full of skill i force her to go though a knee deep flash flood at a trafficlight juction near d Mines. You need to constantly push d accelerator so that wtr doesnt enter ur car exhaust n ths is very difficult to do at a traffic light. My ‘baby’ 1st accident occured a few month later. A foolish motorcylist rode very fast & hitted my ‘baby’ right side mirror.  D accident also left a scar on my baby right window. And just last month while driving in mallaca my ‘baby’ kissed an iswara behind. This was all my fault, changing lane without looking. Luckly my ‘baby’ wasnt badly injured but its cost me RM80 to pay 4 d damaged iswara. No fear 4 speed, my baby was always being pushed to her limits. Going a maximum 140 kmph in highway, actually i had never tried ths bt my friend actlly did whn i ws sleeping in d backseat. I thk thats d current record 4 d fattest custom kancil in msia. Although my baby cant perform driftg when taking a corner she is quite fast 4 a front wheel car. I realise ths whn hvg a dogfight wth an iswara on a whining road in mallaca.. D feeling when conering as fast as u could ws really accelerating. A single mistake is all it takes 4 u to crash while conering. And  my favourite technique is tailgating(cucuk  commonly called here). 

Wht my famly & friends say about my driving? Hmm….my mother said my driving technic ws dangerous thts why she always feel uncomfortable when im behind d wheels. Svrl of my friends gave d same comment, d girls ecspecially : dangerous n sometimes reckless. After doing a lot of thnkg  what thy said made sense. I hv accured mny near missed accidents b4 n luckly all my accidents ws injured n fatal free. Thank god 4 tht. Most important of all that there a lot of peoples who cared n loved me puttg their hopes on me. So I myself must love me, myself & I more n to do that I must always drive safely. Thanks to all who hd always remind me to be safe on d road. Remember this how much confident u are d road n ur car r unpredictable.No matter hw much peopl say about me, my passion 4 cars never decreased. Myb it’s a MAN thing. Untill now I hv my hands on about 30 kind of vehicles, mostly local produced ones. But I still like my kancil best. Why? 1^st its so small it can park almost anywhere & 2^nd Its cheap n easy to maintain & of course very reliable. Nvr hd prob startg in d morning or other kind of prob. Another thg is I can use my car like my own body parts cause im been drivg it 4 quite sometime n know hw d car response.

My dream cars. 4 european car I must say one of BMW 5 series from d 90s model. It look really elegant n at d same time very tough. And 4 japanese made cars I like Honda Civic best, EG especially. Why? Haven’t u notice how honda built their car with such low gravity centre. That mean d car is very stable n can go very I mean VERY, fast. 

 

Take Each Day As It Comes, Life Is Stressful Enough.

Do Not Look Back And Grieve Over The Past,

There’s Nothing Much You Can Do About It.

Do Not Worry About The Future,

For It Has yet To Come.

As Long As It Is Called Today,

Cherish It!

Live This Day As If It Was Your Last,

And You will Find Each Day Worth Living For.

Wauu!! This last 3 month have been a fascinating one for me. Who say life as a University student was all about studying untill late at night and going for mampley (24 hours indian restaurant) afterwards. My semester holiday was truely about  making mistakes and a learning process all at once. Going from south M’sia to north and back to south again every weekends, tired?? Of course but the experience were priceless. When again are you going to experience cooking for 150 people or gave motivation to primary, secondary and matriculation students?  Going to places you never gone before meeting and  socialise with the local people. Giving back to the community with community services and simply by spending your time with them. And the best part of it you dont need to spent much, no need to worry about place to stay or how you going to get there. Most important is the FOOD was also FREE!! All of it was sponsored, you just need to work a little at the begining and in the end youll taste its sweet succes. So my advice to all graduate out there : Life is short especially your campus life so EXPERIENCE IT TO THE FULLEST. or youll regret it.